my 19 month old to quit being sooo bad? He is a bully. He pinches, bites, and pulls hair. No one tells him to do it. He starts out friendly. Like for instance, he'll start by hugging and kissing you and when you least expect it he'll pull your hair. I dont know how to stop him. I tell him No firmly, and so does my husband. But it doesnt work. My 5 year old doesnt like playing with little brother because of the way he is. What should I do?
2007-07-10 10:32:42 · 6 answers · asked by Jacinda 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I have the same problem with my 20 month old.
I took my mother's advice for a while. When he bit, I would bite him back, same with pinching. If he hits, I would hold him still for a few seconds. Now I can say to him after he does something like that "do you want me to do it to you?" and he will stop, BUT, he still does it the first time and only stops when I threaten him!
About 2 weeks ago I asked my mother in law what I should do, and I'm already seeing results.
She says that when he does something bad, tell him gently that "it hurts when you bite mommy, and you should not hurt your mommy" and if he doesn't stop, ignore him. Then when he throws a fit say "I'm sorry that this upsets you, but you should be nice to people".
She says the most important thing to remember is that parents are teachers. We have to teach them right and wrong, not scare them into listening. She said this method take a bit longer, but I see results already. My son still pinches when he's tired, but he's stopped biting and hitting.
Just as a reference, neither of her kids can remember ever not listening to their parents or ever being punished. They are both really nice guys.
When I try to follow her advice, I keep in mind the words "parents are teachers". I think that is key.
2007-07-10 11:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anne 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he is 19 months old and does not understand concept of time out,doing the same thing to him would probably be lost on him to since he is still a baby.when he does it hold his hands still and firmly say NO.as for biting my 2 grandsons were biters,one still is but hes about broke we will LAY our finger on his mouth telling him no,we dont hit him or slap him either one hes not even 2 yet.alot of it is patience and hes only trying to assert himself,and no child that young is bad,not even him ,hes not old enough to undersrtand the word even.
2007-07-10 10:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by mamanana9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about the "do you like it when i do it to you?" but personally; that may be a short lived solution and it may not work; try the hands are for hugging approach; we started out each day with rules, no hitting, no pinching, no pushing/shoving, etc... but that may not work being as your son is only 19mth old... time outs... these are just ideas; you're going to have to find what works best for you and your family. its difficult i know.. my daughter was 2 when she started in all that and after exhausting everything from pushing her away from me and saying no-no i ended up having to pinch her once and i grabbed her hair; (no i didn't all out pull on it but grabbing it sent the message across loud and clear) did i feel like crap doing that to my baby? oh heck yea i did... but it worked... (thank god; i would hate to think i did it for nothing) but good luck in trying to find something that works.
2007-07-10 10:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
i had the same problem with my younger cousins. whenever i had to babysit, they would take charge hitting, pulling my hair, biting, you name it. this may sound a bit 'cruel' to some parents, but start practicing the golden rule. whatever he does to you, do the same back-just enough to let him know it hurts, though.
i tried this with my cousins, and it worked. i wasn't too rough, but after i followed through with i gave them a verbal correction (like 'no' or 'that hurts'). it was easier with my two year old cousin because i could explain moreso why i acted that way.
my uncle and aunt still practice the 'time-out' routine with them, but they have never acted up around me (though they still overrun everybody else)-and yet they're not afraid to play with me.
good luck-i know it's a bother!
2007-07-10 10:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by CruelChick 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First off positive commands have a much greater impact than negative commands. "play nice" goes alot further than "NO" Cuddle your son and show him how to play nice and reward the nice play with praises. It's frustrating, but stick to your guns about it. It will pay off slowly but surely.
2007-07-10 10:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kishauna_P 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
i would definitely put him on time out like in a playpen or his crib. it has to start somewhere! good luck
2007-07-10 10:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by ThrockGrl 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋