My fiance insists that's his best friend, but the guy doesn't even say hello to me!
2007-07-10 10:27:41 · 16 answers · asked by *Duke*my*baby* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This person is the husband of his ex's sister, known for 7 yrs approx
2007-07-10 10:34:30 · update #1
Well...it's definitely not the "preferred" situation! It's unfortuneate when it works out that way....
but....
if you look on the flip side----- I've seen a TON of weddings in which the MOH just absolutely CAN'T STAND the groom, BUT the bride asked her anyway.
If it's really that he doesn't "like" you, then maybe he won't even feel comfortable with the idea and will then decline. But if you start insisting that he NOT be asked...and he finds out...then he REALLY won't like you! LOL
Perhaps arrange a dinner for the 3 of you so that you can get to know him and he can get to know you?
2007-07-10 10:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 16⤊ 1⤋
:o that does sound a little odd. how long has he known this person?
personally my groom (husband :P) does not have many male friends so we had all of our brothers in the wedding.
if this person was RUDE to me, like called me names and told the groom that marrying me was the worst mistake ever, then i would voice my concerns.
but if he just does not spend time with me and i do not know him well, i would let him. men usually do not have a lot to do with the planning of a wedding so this might be one of only a few decisions he makes.
i would try to get to know this man a little better, he is going to be in your life from now on and you both have to be polite for your husbands sake.
i would have been very hurt if my husband told me my best friend was not allowed/welcomed in my wedding, since i have known them all longer than him.
i keep thinking about this and what kind of answer to tell you :( i do not want any hurt feelings. if you think this guy will cause problems at the wedding, say something. if he is just going to stick around other people at the wedding, then i say let him pick this man.
2007-07-10 10:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel strongly that all participants in a wedding, including groomsmen and bridesmaids need to be supportive of BOTH bride and groom, and the wedding as a whole. This trumps bride and groom getting to choose whoever they want as bridesmaids, MOH, groomsmen, and best man. If all wedding participants are not supportive of both, this animosity/lack of support will manefest itself in the wedding, either overtly or subtley. Better to have all supportive players in this important event.
2007-07-10 11:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the groom should pick his best friend and the person who will best support him throughout the engagement and wedding to be his best man.
But for both your sakes, he should have a serious talk with the best man and remind him to be polite to the bride and all the guests. The best man should put his personal dislikes aside for the day, and be gracious to you and everyone at the wedding.
2007-07-10 10:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ceremony is usually most important for the bride. I agree that the best man / maid of honor should be supportive of the couple.
If in doubt, convince him that one of his family members to be the best man as default.
Don't let this guy put a damper on the "happiest day of your life." and convey that message to your spouse.
2007-07-10 10:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jon V 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That usually means bad things on the horizon... if a guys best friend and wife don't get along then it because he has two sides to him and one of them is gonna have to go in the end. You need to find out more about why he doesn't talk to you and you need to clue your fiance into this feeling.
Dan
2007-07-10 10:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by Dan M 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If it is important to him, then you should let him pick whomever he wants. The focus will be on yourself and your future husband. I am sure your husband will be focusing on you as well. If the guy has a problem with you, then HE will be the one feeling uncomfortable that day.
2007-07-10 10:34:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you want the people in your wedding party to support your marriage. so just picking your best friend isn't always the best option. if you talk to your fiance about this, be nice. it could just be that his best friend is shy or something.
2007-07-10 10:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by not margaret 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He can ask whoever he likes, but hopefully he'd have the respect and good sense to choose someone who likes you and agrees with the marriage! I wouldn't stand up for someone if I didn't agree with the marriage, but that's just me.
2007-07-11 05:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this... IF your best friend hated your fiance would you still want your best friend as your MOH???
I think you should get over that he may or may not like you. You and your fiance are getting married. You need to accept his friends.
2007-07-10 10:32:49 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Ashley 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋