I've been dating this guy for about five months. We have extremely compatible personalties. Everytime we're together we genuinely enjoy each other's company. We talk a million times a day and we always make each other laugh. He's an incredible person and always respectful to me. He comes across as a very honest and caring person. He's definitely someone I can see a future with. In a way, he's like my best friend. The downside is that he hasn't taken me on a actual date. In fact, in any type of social setting he prefers that we just "meet up" instead of going to an event together. When it comes to relationship talk and labels, he's quick to downplay our relationship. He's told me that he's in love with me and that I make him a better man, which makes things all the more confusing. He comes across as a very sincere and honest guy so, I don't think he's lying. I do know that he's driving me absolutely insane! Is he playing games? Should I just walk away?
2007-07-10 10:26:13 · 17 answers · asked by Miss Sunshine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whoa whoa easy there, don't jump to conclusions just yet. Look at this way, maybe he's just waiting for something. Maybe he wants to take his time and see how you are, even if you guys went on a million of dates. I'm pretty sure he loves you as well and just cause he didn't take you out on "official" dates doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. He would want to spend his moments in any way possible and it doesn't always have to be about going on dates. Respect his time and how he is right now, I mean he's not cheating on you and i dont know why he would lie about his feelings. Don't walk away or it'll make things worse and he might not talk to you again. See this as an oppurtinity, be patient and confident that you can wait for him to come around. I hope this helps, best of luck to you
2007-07-10 10:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by PJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you were looking for advice from a guy - but I wanted to give you my point of view...
So you have been together for 5 months and he hasn't taken you on a date, yet he is in love with you? Its kind of a sticky situation if you ask me. Also, just because you don't go together somewhere doesn't mean it is a date. Maybe he doesn't like his car? Or maybe he's new to the whole thing.
It could also be that he may be holding himself back a little bit...I mean how early did he tell you that he was in love with you? was this like a one time thing? or do you always say i love you when you get off the phone?
I definitely wouldn't walk away from this guy if he has all of the great qualities that you talk about..But maybe you need to take the bull by the horns - take him out on a date. I'm not sure how old you are, but take him somewhere, treat, and show him how nice it is. Then the ball is in his court.
Also you said "he comes across as a very honest and caring person" - after 5 months how well do you actually know someone? I feel like there is still so much to learn about him.
Don't walk away from him - its still a new relationship, and you are still getting to know eachother. Show him how you want to be treated and hopefully he will do the same. I know it will be hard but you can do it :)
2007-07-10 17:39:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ilikepinepple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an intelligent guy. You write very well so you are intelligent, hence I'm assuming that he is as well since you get on together so well. He sees through the dating game with all the formulas and cliches. There does however seem to be a contradiction between the fact that he says he's in love with you and his refusal to define the relationship. It sounds to me as if he got burned in the past so he's wary of commitment as he doesn't want to get hurt again. (Then again, of course, he may be bi or gay.)
I'm not sure what you mean about the difference between meeting up and going to an event together (?)
Anyway he sounds like a positive thing in your life. Why don't you talk it through with him? He doesn't sound like he is the type to play games so there may be some reason that isn't clear at the moment. But be careful--men don't like feeling that they are being put into a corner. They like to be the proactive one in a relationship.
2007-07-10 17:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by 2kool4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are more of a friend to him than someone that he can see himself with later on in life. Try not talking to him and play the hard to get if he goes for a kiss or something that will turn the tables and put the ball in your court; you will drive him crazy. Just make sure you dont take it to far and let him think you dont like him.
2007-07-10 17:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a seasoned man, however, I married a man just like the one you described. I have 2 bits of advise...always be honest about your feelings and what you want from the relationship (if he sticks around even knowing what you want and how you feel chances are he's thinking the same thing) and NEVER second guess yourself if you decide it's just too dificult to wait him out. It took me 4 years of waiting, but we are now married 3 years, and have 2 beautiful children. Good Luck.
2007-07-10 17:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by heather_roy2005 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think that he is playing games? You said that he was honest.
You told us that he said that he thought of you only as a "friend". If he is honest, then you are stuck with that. I know it sucks, and no one wants to be stuck in the "friend zone" when you really want something more, but what can you do? Just move on.
2007-07-10 17:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he has been hurt before?.....5 months is not a long time..really. But, have the heart to heart and tell him how you feel. Dont make any demands, but do tell him how you feel and if he doesnt want to talk about that...then as was said here earlier...leave him alone. If he truly cares as he says he does, he'll come around.
2007-07-10 17:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that its time to lay the cards on the table. I mean everything, how u feel, how is makes u feel with the things that he do or don't do. Life is too short to be in a state of insanity.
2007-07-11 23:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by Since you asked.... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow with him but be clear that you want a relationship sooner than later. As long as he enjoys spending time with you it means he likes something about you. You cant tell if he is playing games, but it sounds like he is nott ready for commitment.
2007-07-10 17:32:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just behaving in typical guy fashion. A bit apprehensive about commitment, and slow to move forward.
A few gentle nudges and he should start to come around. Just don't push too hard.
2007-07-10 17:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by mark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋