We just got a new place and it is already ruined. My daughter is out of control. No matter what I keep up high or lock up she still finds a way to get into everything. She spills everything. She screams and yells and throws fits. She hits and kicks. She refuses to stay in the kitchen with her cups and food so my carpet is ruined. She stays up until 2 in the morning (even when she doesnt take naps) and she wakes up early. She will not sleep in her own room. The neighbors think I beat her because she is always throwing fits and yelling. And she is always hurting herself so she gets bruises. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE! And I am about to lose my job because no one will watch her because she is so out of control. And I cannot afford daycare or anything like that. And I could put her in time out and spank her *** all day long and she doesnt care. It doesnt phase her. I NEED HELP!!
2007-07-10 09:19:35 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
George, you are an idiot. My husband and I wanted a kid.
2007-07-10 09:29:27 · update #1
It sounds like you need a SuperNanny to come to your rescue. If you've seen the show, she does wonders. You should look it up and tell her your story and maybe you'll get a visit from her.
2007-07-10 09:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by Madeline 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
It sounds like your daughter knows how to break you. Let me ask you this, if she screams and yells when you make a demand, do you eventually give in just so she will stop?
The reason I thought that may be the case is because I noticed that you said she 'won't' drink her juice in the kitchen. Leaving me to believe that she has control of a lot of situations, and she knows she had control.
Two year olds can be difficult, I have one. But the only way to show them what's up is to be consistent. If she won't drink her juice in the kitchen, take the cup from her and pour the juice out if you have to, letting her know that if she leaves the kitchen, that means she must be done drinking.
Basically what I am saying is set up consequences, and stick to them. Your daughter is actually running around bullying the entire house, and it's up to you to sit down and really think of good discipline techniques that will discourage certain behavior. By discipline, I mean teaching. I know you can do this, I believe that you have your daughter's well being in mind always, but don't be afraid to be firm, don't be afraid of her being mad at you, and make sure that if you set a rule for her at home, you let grandparents, stepparents, aunts, uncles, whoever know that this is the deal, and if you all aren't going to help me enforce, me and my child will have to limit our time around here until her behavior improves.
2007-07-10 09:38:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Change the diet - change the behavior! NO JUNK FOODS AND NO SWEETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You also need to step up to the plate and act like a parent. Your daughter NEEDS discipline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do NOT allow her to remove food from the kitchen!!! When she tries - immediately take it away from her - sooner or later she will learn.
A swat on the butt will NOT hurt her! When she screams - just walk away and ignore her because she's only looking for attention.
What you should do is have her right next to you when you do your chores - this way she will learn how to do chores and feel like she's part of something. Reward her everytime she helps you with something.
If she refuses to help then tell her (with your back to her) "ok, but I was planning on going to the park when we're finished so now I guess we won't be able to go............" It may take a while because she's probably still screaming at the same time but if you say it loud enough and long enough - she will hear and stop her bad behavior because all of a sudden she hears the word 'park' and that's probably somewhere she'd love to go to.
You just have to remember; YOU are the parent - NOT her!!!
And the sooner you make her realize this - the better off you will be. She needs to learn to stop being bad, work with you and then she will receive rewards.
2007-07-10 09:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's two????????? Well, I guess the best advice is be consistent in your punishment. Find something that does phase her. Like taking away her favorite thing as punishment. You have to be the boss. Don't give her food unless she stays in the kitchen. As soon as she leaves the kitchen with food take it away, every time. If she hits and kicks confine her to a certain spot and don't let her get up. Keep putting her back in that spot for the allotted time and if she gets up or hits again put her back in. It will be a struggle at first but after a while, if you do the same thing every time, it will sink in. Take away toys, tv, movies, etc until she gets it. But be consistent with a child with a strong will. They have to see the consistency. Get some books about this, watch supernanny, she has great ideas. Ask friends, family for ideas. Try anything that sounds like it might help. Just get in charge and be consistent. Also, one of the best things you can do is find the good she does, even the smallest thing, tell her or collect stickers or something each time she gets something good and after she collects 10 stickers she gets a prize(you decide-usually something she loves, Ice cream shop visit, new small toy, trip to the park, etc.) Notice good and emphasize it. Don't overemphasize the bad.
2007-07-10 09:27:51 · answer #4 · answered by Kymr 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh my goodness!! hunny, you need to get control of that child!! Try making her stay in the kitchen by standing at the doorway and not letting her through with her cups and food. Sit her at the table and sit with her!! I hope this is your only child for a while just because this is gonna take a while to gain back control of her...you won't have time for anything else!! Can you take like two weeks off from your job...like vaca time? How about sippy cups? Playtex makes spillproof ones now. every time she screams, put her in the 'naughty' chair. If she gets up, put her back, each time, make her sit there for a full 2 min once she sits; but you have to be consistant and very strong to keep going....it's gonna be very difficult. If you'd like e-mail me and we can talk more...I raised 4 of my own through that stage, and have had a daycare for 19 years!! Plus many more degrees dealing with children!!
E-mail me if you want.....coolmom_always@hotmail.com
Good Luck
Momma P
May Angels Walk Beside You
2007-07-10 09:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by Momma P 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would consider talking with your child's doctor about getting therapy for her and consider trying medication if they think it is right. I know people don't like that, I didn't either until my son did the same things. The therapists and doctors usually did not even start seeing or considering children for medication until at least 3 - 4 years old but just a few sessions with my son and they had him with the pshycologist to consider medication and it was the best thing we ever did. He had done extreme things like stab his brother in the back with a dart I had on the top shelf of a closet and when I found 2 knives under his pillow one day, I had enough. He was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar disorder (extreme mood swings) which is not usually diagnosed in children until teenage years if then. I promise you though it will get better just PLEASE talk to someone for both yourself and your child. It does help to!
2007-07-10 09:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by purpletazz75 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, a visit to your pediatrician. Rule out food allergies, ADHD and other physical problems. Talk to the ped about her being out of control. Get their recommendations. It sounds like you're a first time mom and the baby has realized she is the boss. You need to take control back over, being firm but gentle. Consistency in disipline, a schedule, cutting out artificial colors and sugars in her diet will help your little one. Its not an easy road sometimes but just remember, you aren't the first parent in the world to deal with a difficult child, you will get through this, the child will outgrow her behavior and when shes older, show her the pictures that you take now when shes wild and making you crazy. You will sit and laugh at them in 15 years.
2007-07-10 09:31:28 · answer #7 · answered by kimmi_35 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am 12 but when i was little i didnt throw tantrums but i climbed all over the place and fell and got bruises and someone called the security for kids and they watched me and i was climbing on the book case when my mom opened the door and the trial was dropped but back to u your child needs more disaplin, dont let her out of the kitchen until shee eat all of her food and when she throws fits put her in a room and dont let her come out till she stops and teach her manners and to apologize and to do the right thing, and when i was little if i did something rong or throw a fit my grandma and my mom would spank me i suggest u do the same to let her know who is the parent and i turned out fine : ]
2007-07-10 11:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by Katie S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like she knows she is the boss of the house. If you make rules, follow through with them, even if she has to sit in her room all day without getting out. I would not suggest spanking only because she may start emulating the "violent" behavior (not that I think spanking is violent, but that is the action the kids will take). It may feel like she could sit in timeout all day and not phase her, but I guarantee that after a couple of days of her missing her favorite things, having snack time, play time, her toys, she will not want to do it anymore. Be strong and confident!
2007-07-10 09:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There has to be a reason why she is acting out....without knowing your situation totally...I can only guess...maybe she doesn't like the new place, maybe she misses some of her other playmates.
If you can find an underlying issue...then address...things might get better.
I don't like to label people, especially a child, she might be hyperactive...you might want to take her to a doctor to find out.
I wish you the best of luck....God Bless!
2007-07-10 10:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by poopsiemom031904 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with the Nanny 911 idea. Everyone on here can give you advice (including myself) but sometimes its easier to see something done than read it and try it. These nannies are amazing and they do an awesome job. I would really consider the show.
2007-07-10 10:21:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋