A Money Dance?

Question

I'm from the South and am part Creole, therefore I want to carry on the tradition of the Money Dance. Because many couples couldn't afford to take a honeymoon, it's commonly believed that guests would basically "pay" to dance with the bride and groom. This is not the case. A guest could dance with the bride or groom without giving them cash, but a donation to be pinned to her veil or his lapel was greatly appreciated.
To make things a bit less tacky, I'm the only one who gets paid for the dance, and I will be holding a money purse for the collection. Plus, I ultimately don't find the tradition to be tacky at all based on my family. Some members will only attend out of familial obligation, because not showing up would put them in a bad light with those that are mutually close to the bride/groom and the mentioned family member. And even if I managed to get every member of my family to come, maybe 10-20% would actually bring a gift!

How can I let them know that I'm doing the Dance without looking tacky though?

Ok, apparently, some people are answering without reading the WHOLE question! How did the one chick talking about "mooching off of family members who are already giving gifts" miss the fact that almost NO members of my family will give gifts if she completely read the question?!

Well, I think I need to clarify that it's an OLD family tradition. Lots of the more recent weddings in my family have been courthouse affairs. So, no, most of them won't be expecting it unless they are informed.

Answer 1

The weddings I have recently attended simply had the DJ announce the dollar dance (same thing) a song or two ahead of time. I've never recieved any forewarning in the invitation or anything, perhaps if you want you could spread the word "through the grapevine" via the bridal party and family/friends.

Congratulations!!!

Answer 2

You don't need to let them know you're doing the dance, whether they expect it or not. Don't worry about it. Those who want to participate will participate and those who don't want to won't. Feeling a need to "inform" your guests that there will be a money dance whether it is a family tradition or not is something that sounds pretty greedy. Your band mc or dj will announce the dance when it is time for it or maybe a song or two before. Other than that, no prior knowledge is necessary. Gifts of any kind are always optional and so is the money dance. Whether or not your relatives are gift givers and even if they are only coming to the wedding out of obligation, it is still your job as a gracious hostess to appreciate their presence no matter how much they contribute financially. I understand your frustration, but there is nothing you can do about it, so don't worry. You have bigger and better things you should be worrying about like what your marriage will be like, not how much money and gifts you'll get from the wedding. If you can't afford a honeymoon and you don't recieve enough money in gifts, then don't go on one and save up for a big trip on your first anniversary. Really, its not worth giving another thought to. I don't think money dances are necessarily tacky unless it is not a family tradition and you're doing it just for the extra cash or if its done in a pushy or overbearing way. Informing your guests of the dance before the wedding would be a little pushy, as though you expect them to participate and are warning them they should bring some cash. So as long as you're laid back about it, you should be fine.

Answer 3

Okay, ignore the people who are being negative. The money dance (or the dollar dance as some people call it) is a tradition! Lots and lots of couples do it, and it's meant to be fun. The way it has traditionally worked is that it is only one or two songs, not the whole reception. Guests cut in frequently and give a dollar or two to dance with the bride or groom. Nothing major, just a few bucks.

I think if you want to do it, you should. It's a tradition in your family and it's a fun dance. To make it not seem tacky, just have your DJ announce it, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for the money dance! If you'd like to dance with the bride and groom, it's going to cost you. As you cut in for the dance, just slip a few dollars into the bride's purse and you're all set!" Later if anyone says anything, blame the DJ. (just kidding!)

Answer 4

I don't think having a money dance is rude. When I have seen the money dance done, it's been regarded by guests as a funny ritual - and no one feels "obligated" to do it - it's more of a joke - and it's not like you can't dance with the bride or the groom during another song for free. To do it or not do it is really a question of taste - if you feel that it is a tacky tradition, then don't have it, but if you think it would be fun, then go for it!

Answer 5

get a good friend of the groom probably the best man to start. My daughter says she has been to weddings where the bride carries the purse for the money dance. It was always the custom when i was younger and i am in Calif. If the woman come up to the groom and want to dance and give money he should not refuse. Congrats on the marriage. do not put it in the invitations, the mention gifts is never to be put on an invitation.

Answer 6

In my family I don't think you're legally married if everyone doesn't get a chance to pay to dance with you. You don't have to announce the fact before the wedding. I mean it's just expected and someone runs the dance so it doesn't go on too long per person. I'm not sure what your question is, so just have your dance. It's only tacky if you have one somewhere where they never heard of it and don't know what to do. You could have whoever is going to run the dance explain what it is first, but it sounds like everyone in your family will know what it is and they'll be expecting it.

Answer 7

I'm from the south too and knowing our traditions I personally don't think it's tacky. I've always brought money to a wedding to give to the married couple with a gift in tow. Newly weds are just starting off and it's never easy so I think our tradition is a good one and the money purse adds a modern twist.

Answer 8

i am from the south and have seen the money dance a few times, but at the weddings i have been to, not very much is ever given.

if it is a family tradition however, won't they be expecting it? i do not think it needs to be announced if it has happened at other family members weddings.

i do feel bad that many of your guests will not bring gifts :( that sounds kinda rude. but if they are the kind of people who will not bring gifts, i do not see them giving you money for your dance.

i would still have that dance, if it is important and traditional to you. i would not expect a huge turn out though, so i hope it does not hurt your feelings.

Answer 9

The money dance is also a tradition in my culture. I'm sure everyone expects you to do it, so go ahead and do it if you want to. My best friend just got married and didn't do it b/c she just didn't want to - but everyone had their money and pins ready, and wondered when we were going to do the dance. It's not tacky at all. It's tradition! It's culture! If they don't want to do the money dance, they don't have to. But if you want to keep tradition going, then make sure you have enough pins at the wedding :) good luck!

Answer 10

You should not feel tacky about a family tradition... I would dance with as many folks as possible so I could by myself a wedding gift later.Do not even worry... Party on.