Wanted to lighten things up a bit. Which is your fav.?

Question

Wife: "What are you doing?"
> Husband : Nothing.
> Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for
>an
>hour."
> Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
> Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
> Wife : "Yes and no."
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
> Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
>your picture and the problem disappears."
> Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
> Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can
>there be greater than this one?"
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your
>worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
> Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
>troubles."
> Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
>give up my seat to a lady."
> Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
> Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
>________________________________
>
> A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
>father hadn't left me a fortune?"
> "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER
>WHO
>LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
> Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
> The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
>
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face
>or my sexy body?"
> He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of
>humor."

Answer 1

I love em all! Thanks for the laughs! Blessings to you, and have a great day!

Answer 2

I like the first one, about the expiration date on the marriage license.

Answer 3

I like the one about giving up the seat to the woman...lol

Answer 4

All they need is a "bu dum bump" from a drum and the end of every one...

thanks for the grins

Answer 5

I like the 'left a fortune' one best, but they're all good. Have a star!

Answer 6

it's a tie between the bus/lap one and the last one.

Answer 7

the first one and the last one are the best!

Answer 8

all very good lol
I loved the one on the bus

Answer 9

the bus/lap one. it made me giggle :)

watch out though-some idiot's bound to report you for this.

Answer 10

Thanks....for the giggles.

I like the 2nd one best. . .it sounds like a choice I would give.

Answer 11

LMAO!!!! Awesome -star-
The last one was hilarious!