why do i feel like im the only one whos had it the hardest through life, as in trauma and victimization?

Question

ive suffered since 15, im 30, was bullied through school, and been attacked in street, had head injuries, plus ive suffered other traumas and victimization to, more to last me a life time.......but i feel alot of my time that im on my own that im the only one whos been abused and had it as bad as ive had.....
plus when people learn about my circumstances, will people single me out and treat me different, set me apart from the crowd, like im on my own in my circumstances? what can i do if people treat me this way?

plus because of my circumstances and the questions i ask, wont people want to help me because of it, and distance themselves from me? will people decide they cant help me because of the questions i ask, or it will put people off giving me help?
what can i do if i feel people treat me different because of my lifes circumstances?

Answer 1

I was a medic in Iraq. You wanna talk trauma! I'll just tell you one of my stories. I entered a building, my SGT got his leg blown off. I was covered in his blood, out a tourniquet on him, carried him out on my shoulders and was shot in the back by an AK. Yeah, bullet came out my stomach. That is trauma! I cannot feel my feet and my hands are in constant pain.

Answer 2

When someone makes a big deal out of their "traumas", most times they are using them as an excuse. When a person goes through something bad, they have three choices: 1- let it beat you down 2- survive it 3- come out better for it Almost every one of us has had bad things happen to us, some worse than others. I was physically and sexually abused growing up, but I'm not on drugs, never been in jail, have held very good jobs and am a pretty good mother. I've managed to keep a fairly bright outlook on life and have healthy relationships. What is my secret? I nourish my spiritual needs (not to be confused with religious), I have studied to find answers to why so that I may understand and get past things, and I accept that life isn't fair or easy, and that I am the only one responsible for my life and my happiness. Remember two things: Life is what happens while you are making other plans AND Always hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Hope this has helped!

Answer 3

Hi, don't feel so all alone, I'm 60, and I've been there. More people than you can imagine feel the same way you do. They, (including me) have suffered abuse, been left out, picked on, have/had suffered many physical pain and injuries, been a victim, been thought of as odd and have/had chronic illness.

There are a couple of ways to start feeling better.

Look on-line for support groups near you, and go to as many as apply to your situation.
There you will find others who have shared your suffering. They will accept you because they have been there or are there in regards to your hurts and traumas. I have gone to (adult children of alcoholics), a (post traumatic stress group), and others.

You must surely have "post traumatic stress", that is why I mention the other thing.

I would recommend that you find a county mental health clinic. Don't panic, I'm NOT saying you're crazy. Somebody who has had a great deal of trauma and suffering needs to talk about it. This is what I did. I might not be here to tell about it without the help I've received in sorting things out.

Usually a count or city mental health clinic works on a sliding scale, and you may also benefit from some kind of medication.

When I became homeless, I went from the county mental health to a mental Health association because they have case management. Thanks to them I've been living in a nice little apt. for 4 years.

I find most people are helpful,if I tell them I have trouble doing something, they are glad to help. I've had several head injuries, 2 concussions that caused me to need to drop out of a university. I also fell on my head as a baby. I'm glad I don't remember that!

I also have a church that is great. It's the Friends Church, Quakers. Not all churches are good, but you might visit some. If you find a friendly church and it just "feels right" to you, it should give you lots of acceptance.

I won't go into what all I've been through, but if I felt like I was the only one that had it this rough, I wouldn't be as OK as I am now. I'm a long way from OK, with a chronic illness that I will die from, but we all die of something! People have called me "that crazy rat lady" because they are uninformed about what great pets rats are, but I don't let it get me down.

Exercise is a very important thing to feel better, so I tell you, look up trikke.com and trikketampa.com. The Trikke is so fun, and a good workout. I have a Trikke T8 with air tires. really, check it out on-line. Walking is also a good exercise and you don't need any equipment.

If you are alone, consider getting a pet. they make a big improvement to being alone. Cats and dogs are great. I can't afford one so I have the pet rats. They are the Least likely rodent to bite. They are clean, love their human, and have the intelligence of a 3 year old child.

Please know you are not alone. Try some of these things. I care.

Answer 4

Man, it does sound like you have had it bad. And don't listen to the mean peoples' comments. That just reinforces your pessimism, which is totally understandable. If for 15 years you have been treated poorly how are you supposed to feel? How would some of you like to be hurting for all this time? People need to be more empathetic.

If I were you I'd find me a psychologist and or a psychiatrist that you can trust. Don't tell everyone your personal business, unfortunately it puts a stigma and label on us when we discuss our issues with others like this. Just look at some of the responses you got. I'm a year older than you and it took me a while to not be so depressed because of all that has happened to me also. There is hope! Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Needless to say in this world there are alot of people who have had to go through tramatic situations. So, the question is what do you do from here. First, it might help if you were in a group that supported victims of crimes. But I think a step further would be to start volunteering. Where you volunteer would be up to you. It could be at a veterans hospital, a senior center, meals on wheels, a zoo, big brothers or any number of things. I believe that people who volunteer have a kind, understanding and generous nature. They are probably the quality of people that you need to be around to start feeling better about yourself and putting yourself into positive surroundings. If you join one group and don't really enjoy it, you can always join another group. The opportunities are endless and help is always appreciated.....which means you will be appreciated.

Answer 6

okay...you are in a love hate war with yourself right now. in one sense you feel this unwanted need for people to accept you throughout life yet in the other u wonder why u ever cared because it seems like everyone has only ever hurt you. this is a war u alone are battling. because basically you have two options you can alienate yourself from every single person that you cross by lettin this fear stand in the way or you can let go of those people that hurt you. you will have to just take a deep breath and control the demons in you then just say OH WELL. these things happened and i cant take it away so oh well. most importantly of all though...be strong. the worst pain i ever felt was the fear of failing at life as if there is some one and only guideline to follow. i had to forgive myself for failing and at the end of the day i know its my most only chance to win. good luck friend. i could tell ya some stories too. you are certainly not alone.

Answer 7

You should know that there are many people who've been bullied throughout school. Also, there are people who probably have had it worse than you have in life.

It sounds to me that you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and leave the past behind. Everyone has issues, but if they are affecting you to this day then it's time to get a therapist who can work with you and help you get through these issues.

Fifteen years is a lot of time to hold onto that baggage. If you don't get help now then pretty soon you'll be 40, then 50, then 60 years old still dealing with this stuff. The first step is to accept responsibility for yourself and change the things you CAN change, like being proactive about getting professional help.

Answer 8

Everyone goes through problems in their life, i was also bullied. And we always seem to think we have it worst then the world. You shouldent be so paranoid what people are going to think of you when you tell them what you've been through. And if you really feel this way, then only tell people you can rely on and trust, i'm sure they'll comfort you.
I suppose it's what you're going for, do you want sympathy?
Or do you want people just to treat you the same..
I can't really understand why they wouldent, what difference does it make if you've had these situations and they havent.
It helps them understand, and grow, and all you need is some advise. Maybe you should talk to a close family member/Psychiatrist. Maybe they can give you some advise on what you should be making out of you're life.
Hope this helps, you're welcome. :)

Answer 9

First let me tell you, you aren't alone. Second, things could always be worse. I grew up with 2 mentally disfunctional parents, so I'm not even going to elaborate.

Despite everything, you have your health, apparently a computer, your hands work and you seem to have use of your brain, so please get some confidence. If you walk through life feeling like there is black cloud around you, then guess what...the will be.

There are 2 things that make a person - (1) self perception and (2) confidence. If you have one and not the other you may be dilusional. lol but if you are confident as well, you can accomplish lots of things and you'll attract nice people along the way.

Answer 10

Unfortunately, I myself have led a similar life to what you are describing. ( I am 29) I do my best to keep strong within myself, and because we live in such a violent and judgemental world, I usually do not tell people about my past circumstances. I just know that within myself, working through those circumstances has made me a much stronger person. I am sorry life has thrown its evil at you, but you can get through it! I have learned the hard way that telling people about what I have been through either makes them feel sorry for me or they want to get 100 feet away. Either way it changes the relationship. You, my friend, will through trial and error find what best fits your lifestyle... whatever comes of it, I wish you a great future! As my grandmother always told me... if you are at the bottom of the ladder, there is only ONE way to go... UP!

Answer 11

Someone's just said "You can ask that question a thousand times but only one person can answer it".
Well, you've been asking it (about 800 times since February) so it's about time you came up with the answer - or do we all have to suffer the same old thing for another two hundred times first?