I have been dating my boyfriend/fiance for 3 1/2 years! When we first started to date we knew we would always be together, however, we would not be able to get married due to his legal status. I was told by my attorney that it would be harder to be able to get him a visa if we wed first. Despite all of the legal issues, we went a head with our llives.....we live together as a serious and committed couple and have a beautiful daughter together.
I have always wanted to marry him, and now we are planning or wedding. I of course want it somewhat big. You know, the typical ceremony and reception. My mother has said that it is a waste of money and I should get married in my church and have a little party with cake and punch in the church hall......Although this wedding is more to me then just marriage, it signify s the official joining of two people in holy matrimony and the start of a new life with the same man and daughter!!!
2007-07-10 08:37:35 · 40 answers · asked by Christina B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have been dating my boyfriend/fiance for 3 1/2 years! When we first started to date we knew we would always be together, however, we would not be able to get married due to his legal status. I was told by my attorney that it would be harder to be able to get him a visa if we wed first. Despite all of the legal issues, we went a head with our llives.....we live together as a serious and committed couple and have a beautiful daughter together.
I have always wanted to marry him, and now we are planning or wedding. I of course want it somewhat big. You know, the typical ceremony and reception. My mother has said that it is a waste of money and I should get married in my church and have a little party with cake and punch in the church hall......Although this wedding is more to me then just marriage, it signify s the official joining of two people in holy matrimony and the start of a new life with the same man and daughter!
I own a house and have money set aside for my daughters education
2007-07-10 09:05:20 · update #1
I'm a realtor and Marketing Director for my company.
I own a house and have money set aside for my daughters education,I am in college and money is not an issue.
2007-07-10 09:07:50 · update #2
He has just received his visa and entered the country!
2007-07-10 09:17:48 · update #3
*re-entered the country, he left while he was waiting for his visa to be granted
2007-07-10 09:37:13 · update #4
it's your wedding your special day so do what you want. who cares if you already live together? it's one of the most important days in your life. you will want to look back on it and it be memorable and exactly what you wanted. go all out. it's all about you and him not what anyone else wants.
2007-07-10 08:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
If you got money to spare for a big wedding, why not? It happens only once in your life (i hope it'll be your first and last)..and you were so true when you said that it signifies a start of a new life. There's enough reason to celebrate, since you also got a wonderful daughter..
but, if you have a rather limited financial capacity, your mother may be right on some points. What she's suggesting is more practical; maybe she's thinking of the future. In a few years your daughter will be starting school, and it would require a lot of money, which you could start putting aside instead of having the big wedding.
I feel for you, girl. Me and my husband had a simple civil ceremony but we're definitely gonna have the wedding...that is, before my daughter came! Now I'm torn between having the dream wedding and the "saving up" for the future thing. I really wanna have a church wedding, but I guess I wont go for the very extravagant one. Unless of course I win a couple of millions in the lottery, then I would definitely go for it. As of now, I'm thinking of ways on how to have a simple yet elegant wedding...and I get a splitting headache everytime!
I just wanna make it memorable..and yet, I dont wanna focus on just the wedding day..coz the real marriage happens the day after the wedding. you know, when the magic starts to fade and you're back in the real world;)
goodluck!!
2007-07-10 08:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nothing is stupid if you can afford it. If you have plenty of money, shoot the works. Tell everyone to kiss your wazoo. Why not? If a big party is what you are going to remember best about getting married to the man you love, you better have a big party. Just make sure you put a lot of expensive stuff on the registry, really make their jaws drop.
You know, there is nothing awful about a nice wedding on a smaller scale. It can still be just as wonderful and meaningful as a huge extravaganza. But if a huge wedding is what you have dreamed about all your life, go for it great guns. That is what keeps the wedding industry in business! It is the happiest day you will ever have for the rest of your whole entire life, it's all downhill from there.
2007-07-10 08:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Me and my fiance have been together 9 1/2 years with a four year old son ( I am 30 he is 34) We are getting married in March 22 08 my parents are paying for the wedding So my point is that if you can do it how you want it then go for it!!! you deserve the wedding you always wanted despite that fact you have a son and already live together. Good luck
2007-07-10 08:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by jenn p 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, not at all. I would guess that everyone is just basically waiting for you two to make it official. I had a cousin who did things like you, they didnt have legal issues, they were just really laid-back and didnt feel the need. After such a long time, they had had a baby and bought a home etc, finally they decided to get their butts in gear and go ahead and have the wedding. I was a great wedding, and no one batted an eyelash because it was a big wedding with all the bells and whistles. Have your party the way you want it, take it from someone who didnt have the wedding they always envisioned because I allowed my husbands mother to push me around, you will regret it later.
Best of luck!
2007-07-10 08:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am the same but we lived together for 7 yrs and have a three yr old and u know what he said to me have your dream wedding u deserve and so do u this is holy matrimony so do it right and that is which ever way u and him want it!!
congratulations!!!!!!
2007-07-10 14:56:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want a big wedding, then go for it. There's no reason why it would be inappropriate. However, your mom is kind of right. It IS a big waste of money, when you think about it. Marriage is about the joinging of two people, yes. But the only people you need there are the ones who truly care about the marriage and who touch your lives.
2007-07-10 08:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you truly love him, it shouldn't matter if you have a big or small wedding. But I warn you, if you do have a large wedding, your husband will probably be all but ignored by everyone because the focus will be on you.
Large weddings are very stressful to plan, so do you and your family a favor and just keep it simple. With a smaller event, you won't have to skimp and the people that really mean something to you won't get lost in the crowd.
2007-07-10 10:18:30 · answer #8 · answered by germaine_87313 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well if you can afford the wedding go for it, but let me tell you, why spend all that money for a ceremony that is all of 10 min long. My best friend got married, spent alot of money and it lasted 15 min. It was nice but totally not worth it. I had my wedding in the park for free. It was just as nice. I brought a summer dress and we ate afterwards. If I were you I would have a reception for family and friends and have a small and simple wedding. Spend that money on a house, or honey moon for the two of you. That would be so much more worth it.
2007-07-10 08:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by Sylvia Lei 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Even people together fifty years sometimes renew their vows with a big wedding. Why shouldn't you be able to have the wedding of your dreams? What does it matter if you've already settled down into a married routine? You're married, you still deserve your wedding. Hey, you've already been married longer than a lot of people who had the big wedding before they lived together. :)
Don't let people stop you from living your dreams. That's what dreams are for. The naysayers are either jealous or just worried about what other people think of them. And that's just silly.
Have your wedding and enjoy it! You only live once.
Probably.
2007-07-10 08:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by grrluknow 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
permit me purely provide you a heads up into what each and every physique is thinking and no person is asserting.... "Get a circulate on, could ya!?! you have been in an volatile relationship for 15 freaking years, have a teenage daughter jointly, and NOW are making plans a great wedding ceremony? Elope already!!!" desire that facilitates.
2016-10-01 07:50:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋