I am a part of my friends wedding, and though I'm not maid of honor, I feel like I'm the only one doing any real work for her special day. Nobody else is doing hardly anything! I feel overworked and underappritiated. I don't know how to tell her this, and I also don't know how to ask the other girls to step up.
2007-07-10 08:19:25 · 18 answers · asked by ShoeGal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Say something you are letting this happen..... Alot of people just assume you will help with something just because you are a friend it is human nature. You will be pushed as long as you allow them to. Just speak up for yourself you will feel better if you did.
2007-07-10 08:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't tell the bride anything...yet. Get together with all the bridesmaids and maid of honor for a little planning time. If you are unable to pull this gathering together without the bride, then ask her to call the meeting. In a casual way, everyone can reveal their part for the wedding. Hopefully, everyone will recognize the imbalance in responsibilities and step up. If the bride is present, she may notice and make the appropriate adjustments.
2007-07-10 15:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is why I hate titles.... Maid of honor, bridesmaid, etc etc.... Everyone in the wedding party is equally important AND responsible. If you aren't getting help, speak up. Be honest with them. If the other ladies aren't willing to help you, you may be forced to go to the bride. Let her know that you love helping out but it is a bit too much to handle on your own. Let her know what you're willing to do and what she is going to have to take into her own hands. I wouldn't feel underappreciated. I'm sure the your friend is very appreciative. Just think about all the stress she is dealing with. It's not that she doesn't appreciate you, she is probably just to busy to realize she hasn't expressed her gratitude.
2007-07-10 15:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by geistswoman 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's difficult being a bridesmaid with a bunch of people you don't know. The best thing to do is draw a line in your head of what you will and will not do. When it comes to tasks that are past your line, tell them and say "i'm doing this and this, I simply won't have time. The bridesmaids should all have each others email addresses so you can communicate with each other. The bride is under enough stress, you guys need to be adults and work this out amongst each other.
2007-07-10 16:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by Allison L 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT mention anything to the bride. Chances are, she has so much stress and worry going on right now that you'll only make things worse. I had this problem a few years back with my brother's now ex-wife and my ex- sister-in-law. I was a bridesmaid and her cousins were the MOH. They weren't doing anything and traditionally, the MOH is supposed to hold the bachelorette party. So I sent a polite email to both of her cousins asking when it would be a good time to discuss the date and time they planned on holding the bachelorette party. I was getting my point across without really being nasty. I would just email or talk to the other girls and ask when would be a good time for everyone to get together and discuss what's left to be done for your friend's big day! Mention making a list at your get together and everyone taking on a task. They should understand what you're trying to do and that you have the interest of the bride at heart!
2007-07-10 15:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
This was my mom's situation... her cousin was supposed to be the matron of honor... with all the duties that entails and i as a brides made and daughter ended up doing more work. Tell the bride that you're happy to help but feel that the maid of honor should be the one helping with most wedding priorities.
2007-07-10 15:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Infatuation 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
check with your friend(the bride) and see how she feels about the situation. If you know the rest of the bridal party well then just tell them to step up and help out, that is part of their responsibility as a member of the wedding party.
Keep in mind that some brides feel it the Maid of honors job to help w/ everything. I personally feel that the entire bridal party should help.
2007-07-10 15:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by jamitha99 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't say anything to the bride yet. First, ask the girls. It shouldn't be that hard. Start with the maid of honor. When you have to do something, pass it off to her, or ask her to help. If she doesn't - keep asking, they'll get the hint. If they do not get a hint you'll need to just be straighforward with them.
2007-07-10 15:38:32 · answer #8 · answered by Aubs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't tell the bride...she has enough to worry about. Talk to the other girls and tell them to step it up, that you need help with this or that. I have a friend who was recently in a wedding with the same problem and she just did the work. I'm sure your friend sees how much you do and that should be enough....eventhough it doesn't fee like it!
2007-07-10 15:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by Kim B 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Id tell the other girls to help you. Or delegate work, also tell your friend how you are feeling. If my friend was to tell me that they felt hurt about not being maid of honor, Id make all three of them maids of honor and delegate work for each of them to do myself. id probably get called a bridezilla, but oh well.
2007-07-10 15:26:14 · answer #10 · answered by pegasis 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be an adult and ask the other girls to step up. If they don't, let the bride know that you feel like you are doing more than everyone else. Otherwise let everyone walk all over you and deal with it.
2007-07-10 15:23:00 · answer #11 · answered by screwed 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋