How do I Change a Guy from Player to Boyfriend?

Question

I met this guy over a month now and he lives like an hour away. I really like this guy. When we were texting, He told me he is a player. First why would a guy say that? Anyhow so I go over to his house and we watch a movie and we start making out. Now that’s all we did that night. I haven’t seen him for almost two weeks but that’s because we both were busy over the holidays. But he still flirts with me in his texts and now he wants to see me on Friday. We have this joke that I say don’t dream of me, and I said that last night and he said this morning what if I did dream about you would you make it come true? ; ) and I just flirt back but by the time we ended he told me that the crazy dream was like a 8 or 9. And He wants it to come true. Also he said I have nice boobs. Like I don’t know what is going on in this guys head. but I don’t know what I should do. Should I just drop the guy or should I have fun with it. Or should I play the game back with him? Help!!!!

Answer 1

You can't change anyone. Except them the way they are or move on.

Answer 2

This is the million dollar question, girl. Good luck "changing" a man. They like things to stay the same. Ever hear of a man getting a divorce because his wife lost her figure after having his kids? They have no respect for what a woman actually goes through. Not only through giving birth but all the time. A woman takes care of everything. Makes sure the house is clean, linen washed, clothes washed, folded, put away, groceries bought, cleaning supplies, toiletries. Puts the kids to bed, vacuumes, cooks. . . follow me around for a day. You'd be amazed at what I find time to do. My exboyfriend couldn't even put the dirty clothes in the basked--strategically placed to where the clothes kept falling. Suffice to say he is an ex. This guy you like will chase so long as he has something to chase. Keep playing hard to get. See him Friday, but don't go farther than you did the previous time. Let him know there's more and make him want it, but do not give it to him. Keep him wanting more. It's all a game, just because he identifies himself as a "player" doesn't mean he doesn't want a girl he can keep chasing indefinitely. You are a player as well if you are attempting to date anyone. Him telling you your breasts are nice is not a compliment. All men think breasts are nice. Tell him you need him to compliment you in a more sincere way.

Answer 3

From the male perspective -
If I'm telling you up front that "I'm a player" that means don't expect anything but a good time. Period.

You've been warned.

Sadly I have friends of the female type that break their hearts over guys because they - Want To Change Them -

Now stop for a second and think that through. What attracted you to this guy? If you changed it, would that not effect your attraction factor? Or is it that you only want to change "certain things" about the guy.

I'm sorry dear - it don't work that way. And if you open the door to a player, don't expect to make a 9 to 5 come home to honey out of him - he will be playing the field later. Its in the nature.

Answer 4

You can still have fun and flirt with him without doing anything you will regret. He seems like he jumps into things fairly quickly, but from what you have said he doesn't seem like someone I would be particularly worried about if I were you. I'm not the player type, but I think if a guy, any guy, found the right girl, one who would make him happy and smile and laugh, they would be faithful to that person. If he really does care about you and wants to be with you, you can just tell him what you think, ask him why he called himself a player. If he was just joking around or something, great, but if there is something there that you need to address, go ahead and do it, and see what he says after. You shouldn't give up on him right away, but I wouldn't get my hopes up either, play it by ear and don't do anything you would regret, stick to your guns!

Answer 5

He is a guy that you made out with, what do you think is going on in his head? He knows what 1,2 and 3rd base are like, so now is trying to score and knock it out the park. Flattery is everything, when it comes to most guys, they tell you what they think you want to hear, to get what they want. He probably told you the dream thing, which is a part of his "game", to make you feel that he is into you or sort of like prodding you along to see how far you are willing to go. I am not saying he is not into you, but what guy that actually is into a female comes out and tells her "I'm a player"? I'll tell you what kind. The kind that is a player, meaning, more than likely he doesn't want to get into anything serious, and that he has other females that he is running his "game" on. He is up front and honest with you, so that you know what you are getting yourself into. So don't expect anything more from him because he is going to hit you with, "well I told you I was a player". He gave you a choice. Think about it you made out with him over his house and haven't heard from him in two weeks!!! I mean need I say more? What do you think will happen once you give him what he wants? You may never hear from him again, at least not unless he decides he wants to do it again. I'm sure he has one of his other friends to occupy his time, until you come around. Don't think you can change him, you can't. If you want to go along with it and have sex with him, then do it, but don't expect anymore than that, or else you will be setting yourself up to get your feelings hurt. All the best.

Answer 6

First you can't change a guy period. If he wants to change he will, but if he's on the young side he's going to want to "play the field" and stay a player for a while.

I say if you're young there's no harm in just having fun with it as long as you know that's what you're doing. You have to be okay with the fact that this may never be more than just fun and that he may having the same kind of fun with other girls (so protect yourself). If you can honestly be okay with that then do it, if not let him go and look for someone who wants something more like what you want.

Answer 7

He doesn't sound safe. And by safe, I mean he's a player but it sounds like he's the kind of player that gets too into the game and breaks the rules.

There's nothing wrong with flirting. But this guy. . . it sounds all so weird. You have doubts, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. And if you have doubts, that should be a clear sign to turn way. While playing the game might be fun, it could be sending him the wrong message. Especially if you keep it up. The longer you do it, the more serious it gets.

Answer 8

I married to a guy who was a major player. first we just hung out but then I realized I have feelings for him so I told him thaty we need to be serious or I don't want to see him anymore. He said OK and we became BF and GF but in his mind we weren't until he was ready himself. and it was mostly because he was in his thirties and done with the "playing". you can't change anyone. so if this guy is a young one, I would say there is even less hope that he would convert himself to a caring and committed guy. I say just have fun and do not push anything. it will happen if it will happen. just make sure you won't stick around when you start having feelings for him and he is not in your level because then you would get hurt and if there was a chance with you two one day it would be ruied by all the emotional scars from the past. this is from experience. good luck

Answer 9

You cannot change someone. The person has to to want to change. You could encourage but that does not always work. You could go with the flow but be weary of your heart getting broken, especially if you develop feelings for this guy. He did say up front that he was a player - most players are there to "play" only - that right there should be a warning sign. Be friends first, then take it from there.

Answer 10

Ever heard the saying you cant turn a h0e into a housewife.....well the same rules apply to guys!! You have to either accept someone for who they are or move on. Flirting is one thing, but how sure are you that he isnt doing the same thing to other girls?!? You are better off just finding a nice local guy that isn't in o playing games and all, believe me there are some really awesome men out there!! Good Luck!

Answer 11

Here's what you do - you understand that he wants one thing - a physical relationship. He gave you every indication from the start. He said he was a player - he meant it. He doesn't want to get serious with anyone. He wants to have fun.

I would say you're already too invested in the relationship to "have fun" with it. You have some pretty clear feelings about him and wanting him to be a boyfriend. I see nothing but heartache for you if you continue thinking he'll someday change.

We women have a tendency to want to "fix" things to fit what we think we want. We wait for things to change when in fact, they are what they are. He wants to see you because he's getting what he wants from the relationship - fun without strings attached. If you're willing to accept that, then keep him. If not, cut the cord now. In time, you'll see he was honest with you and you were the one who put more emphasis on what you wanted it to be. It's tough, but it's better than ending up bitter and thinking him less than he is. I don't see that he's lied to you or misrepresented, but you're certainly going to be disappointed (and probably angry) when you realize later on that he isn't boyfriend material.