What do I do?My pregnant girlfriend's parents hate me.?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while and her parents were fine at first. But her mom and dad are very controlling people. Her mom is very co dependent on her and is not a happy person at all. She has always tried to sabotage her relationships.This was also the case with this one.But she came up pregnant. I am more than willing to be the father of this child and take responsibility for it.Her parents want her to go it alone because they hate and they want me to have nothing to do with her which is very unfair. These people call themselves Christians but I am not. Yet they believe that a child should not have father? Isnt that that in the Bible or something?
Her parents basically are hypocrites and they know it. Since her parents are very immature about the situation I cannot confront them.We have to sneak around to see each other.This is horrible for me because I want to be there for the process. Should I write them a letter? Should I call her dad,what should I do?

Answer 1

Your pregnant girlfriend's parents hate you?
Gee...I wonder why.

Answer 2

You didn't mention how old you and your girlfriend are. Try to understand that this is their daughter that you impregnated. I find it very responsible of you that you want to be a help and a support and a part of the baby's life, but as a parent of two girls I can understand what they are feeling. No parent wants their child to grow up too quickly...and a young pregnancy is not the best thing that can happen in a young girls life. A parent always wants more for their kids. Right now they are hurting and running on shock and emotion. They know how hard their daughter's life will be as a result of this pregnancy. Parenthood is a lifetime commitment and the hardest responsibility that anyone ever commits to. Give them time. Then try to talk to them in a few weeks when they have time to adjust to the news. Ask to meet with one or both of them and ask your parents to be present. If this is not possible, then perhaps you can suggest an appointment with their pastor present as a mediator between you. What ever you do, treat them with respect and remember that they have every right to be upset and emotional right now. From their view point (even though their daughter consented to have sex with you) you are responsible for the hard road she and the baby have ahead of them and (for now) that makes you the enemy. I hope all will work out for you. God Bless!

Answer 3

This is a hard question to answer, because you forgot an important detail. How old are you and your girlfriend? If you are under 18, you might be stuck, at least until your girlfriend turns 18 and can make her own decisions... unless she is willing to ditch the folks. If you are both adults, however, then it is really in your girlfriend's court. Maybe it is anyway. SHE has to decide what to do with herself and her baby. If she wants you to be a part of this process, then she needs to do something about the parents. It is her responsibility, and not yours. That said, you have a legal right to see your child when it is born, and you should seek that right. Afterall, you'll probably be forced to pay support, whether you are present or not. You may want to discuss this with an attorney if you can. You've put yourself in a tough situation by not being more careful with your sexual deeds. It is not a fair situation to be in, and there will be no easy answers. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

There is such a thing as parent's rights. The issue is though a court might require DNA to prove it. This is not recommended while the baby is still in utero, it is dangerous. In the meantime take good care of the daughter and in turn your child. There may be many times where you will have to bow out to avoid conflict with the grandparents. While this is going on it may be useful to ask yourself how you would react to a man if your un-wed daughter came home pregnant. It would be best if you did have good communication with the parents, but this may not happen for a while. Remain open to them, see their side. If things continue to go well between you and their daughter, they may eventually turn around.

Answer 5

I don't see an age listed here for either of you. Try to take a walk in their shoes for a minute. Their little girl is pregnant. They want her to have the best and getting pregnant out of wedlock just wasn't part of their dream. How can you prove to them that you are a responsible person when you didn't take the responsibility of preventing a pregnancy? Sneaking around to see her means that she is lying to them and can't be trusted, either. Do you see where I'm going with this?

If I were you, I would call them and ask to have a chance to speak with them in person about this baby's future. This could be an opportunity to clear the air and get them to see a different side of you. Do you have a plan on how you will take care of this baby? Where will you live? Will the baby be covered under your medical insurance? There are many issues that you need to work out to get them to see that you are very serious about being involved in your child's life. I wish you luck!

Answer 6

try to put yourself in their shoes.... how would you feel if some guy got your daughter pregnant? you would probably hate him too!!!!!!!

remember the saying, actions speak louder than words? well if she is under 18 then you need to respect them by keeping your relationship with her to a limit until she is old enough to make her own decisions. if she is already 18 then you need to sit down with her parents and tell them how you plan to take care of your responsibilities.

when the baby is born be a good father and that will show them how you are stepping up and being a man... they will come around if you prove them by actions how you are.

as far as being somewhere in the bible. SORRY! no such thing. but there is a thing that says that you should wait til you get married to have sex.... (that would have avoided the whole problem) as parents they are probably just trying to protect their daughter. maybe they don't want to support your sexual relationship? are you willing to marry her?

Answer 7

I have objectively digested your question and comments. This child needs a dad, not a big immature brother who donated sperm. A caring Christian family does just that...they care for their family. They do not want your misguided life to ruin that of the child. They don't want you to further soil their daughter. You speak about how they do not understand you. What effort do you make to understand them. Have you actually read the Bible? Do you understand from their perspective how flawed you sense of morality is? Sometimes it is just better to cut bait and leave. A real man will be a dad to this child.

Answer 8

If she is over 18 then you should sit down with the parents and tell them that you ARE going to be a father in this childs life. There is no reason you should be sneaking around... Also she should tell her parents how she feels about you so they know that she has strong feelings for you also.

Answer 9

Whatever you do don't just marry her because their is a baby on the way..That is why divorce rate is so high..Its a lifetime commitment people make to each other because they LOVE and RESPECT each other..sounds to me that you and HER should have been more responsible..Its a wonder why her parents are soo against you..Right now i would let them cool off..Then talk to all of them and sort out whats gonna happen..In the meantime show them that you are MORE responsible than you have been acting..

Answer 10

How old is your girlfriend?

If it is possible you can talk to a lawyer about it and see what your rights are. Have you tried talking to them and telling them how you feel? That is to bad that these parents are acting this way. They should be happy that the father wants to be apart of the babies life. Good luck to you and I hope all works out ok.

Answer 11

Number 1 Do you love her? Number 2 you should be honest with yourself as well as the parents and not be afraid to tell them you are in this for the long haul..........#3 you should never sneak around it only leads to further problems
Do not fear others or their views of you ......be true to yourself and your loved ones. As an adult you have the right to speak your mind and as adults they should respect this and deal with it.
Koodo's for you for standing up and taking control and wanting to be a part of the babies life. Live love and be happy.........never worry god see's to it we survive and if you stand up and be honest then respect is in your corner and always remember a man is only as good as his word so be HONEST at all costs.