Am I cheap if I don't give my 16 year old daughter a nice car?

Question

Its her sweet 16 today, I give her gift, but my daughter whine, and complain to me that she wants a nice car, she said that everybody in her school have car for their 16th birthday. The reason I don't want her to get a car because she might crash into a car, I can't pay for the car and the insurance, she might turn spoiled if she gets a car, and also she is not appreciatting her gift that I gave her. I feed her, pay for her education, and pay whats needed best for her. If she wants that car so badly she can get a job, but she didn't even get a job. So tell me, am I cheap if I don't give my 16 year old daughter a nice car?

Answer 1

Your sixteen year old needs to get a job and buy her own car and pay for her own insurance. Maybe then she will appreciate the value of a dollar and all that you have done for her already.

Answer 2

I got a car when I was younger, but my parents had the means to do so. If you are going to stretch your means beyond your limit than I would say that you shouldn't buy her a car. Especially since you said she might get into an accident. If she's the kind to whine and complain about not getting her way, than she is more likely to be a reckless driver, and thus should not get a car. And the fact that you gave her something at all should be enough. And if she has a problem with that, than explain to her that there are people everyday that do not get basic necessities. Maybe she could do some volunteer work at a homeless shelter or food bank to help her learn to appreciate the great family that she has.

Honestly, I do not believe you are being cheap. There is a difference between having the money to pay for something and not buying it, and not being able to get it in the first place. Plenty of people don't have cars (look at most European countries!) and they get around just fine. And besides, if EVERYONE in her school is getting a car, than they can give her rides and she can pay gas money!

Answer 3

You don't need to justify not giving something you cannot afford and you don't think is appropriate. All her friends do not have cars. Every teen from the beginning of time has used that one. Don't fall for it. You are the one who is going to have to bury her if she has a fatal accident, so giving into this sort of demand when you know its not the best thing for your daughter is stupid.

She will be a better person for not having things handed to her. Don't say anything else, tell her happy birthday and the discussion is over. And btw, you don't do those things for her as a gift. You are her parent and that's your obligation. While you can expect her to be respectful, don't expect it to mean anything to her until she has to do it for her own self or her own kids.

I didn't buy my daughter a car until she was almost 18 and it was a cheap used car. She paid for gas and we paid for the insurance, license, taxes and maintenance. She was a responsible girl who always worked and got honor roll grades. She never gave us any reason to worry and she did what she was told. She deserved a car to help her get to work and to college when she went. She's now 24, a college grad, in grad school. works two jobs, owns her own home. We did the right thing, and you should take heart that any momentary angst that your daughter has, will pass. Good for you!

Answer 4

My dad bought 2 cars for my older siblings to learn how to drive in when the oldest turned 5 and a half. And then at 18 (we do 18 instead of 16) he got each of the a nice car of their choice. But they all had to pay for the insurance... and none of them are spoiled brats... and they all have jobs to...

he told us that we could either get a nice car if we had a decent job, or a 2nd hand crappy car if we didn't... but that's not a big deal for us (I've had a job since 5th grade)... my younger sister on the other hand already has a car (she's 9) but its a 1999 Volkswagen and if she choses to have a job, we're just giving it away

but no it's not cheap... it's just a style of parenting... I would wait till she's 18, then she'll actually be able to drive it with some control

Answer 5

Absolutely not! Don't feel guilty about a new car, especially if she is only 16! My stepson just turned 16 and he was expecting a new car because everyone in Calabasas has a new car. My husband and I explained to him that not only did he need to find a job to make sure he could afford gas and insurance, but also show some sort of responsibility. Your daughter won't even get a job. Explain to her that she needs to show you she wants to work hard and be responsible and that you will help get her a used car once she can prove to you she can afford gas. Otherwise, you will just find yourself with another expense and she will not learn to appreciate anything including you! Also, reports show that 7 out of 10 teenage drivers crash within the first year of having their driver's license, enough said!

Answer 6

You're not cheap at all. You should explain that you don't have the money and that if she wants one so badly she should get a job and earn one.

Besides I'm sure the gift you gave her was already nice. I just turned 16 and all I got was a cd and a $8 book. Actually, it was after that, that I decided to get a job, so that I could actually get the things I wanted. Trust me, you're not cheap.

Answer 7

My husband and I both drove hideously ugly cars as adolescents, and we intend for our children to have the same character-building experience! ;-)

Your daughter needs a reality check, and you should not feel badly about what luxuries she does not have, and that you cannot afford.

In addition, your daughter needs to focus upon school, not a job. Some kids work 30+ hours a week to support a car, and it affects their grades.

Perhaps if your daughter meets certain goals (job, chores, good grades) you could invest in a cheap used car and let her pay for insurance and gas.

I sure did appreciate my first new car, and I took excellent care of it because I appreciated it so much. Your daughter should have the same opportunity!

Answer 8

No. Not at all. Your are the mother and you gave her a loving gift. If she doesn't appreciate that, then take that from her and give her nothing. She should be grateful. Plus, she's too young to be driving out there alone. You provided her with everything she needed and this 'car' isn't going anywhere. She doesn't need it so it can wait

Answer 9

you're not cheap at all. If she wants her own car, she's gonna have to get it herself.
My parents didn't buy me a car for my sweet 16!! and yes my parents told me that if i want a nice car so bad i should get a job, and i did, but i got myself a 2000 chrysler, but i'm paying for the gas and insurance!

Answer 10

No you are not cheap. If she wants a car she can get a job. She's already spoiled from the sounds of it. If she gets a job, maybe you can help pay for the car, otherwise if she wants one so bad, go to the junkyard and buy her one. Then tell her that if she wants to drive it, she's going to have to get a job to pay to get it on the road. Then tell her, Welcome to the real world!!!