ok me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3months already and we are goin on our fourth month ok he wants to marry next month im so scared cuz i think its to soon u kno we just got our own place and our own car he has kids i dont im only 19 he is 28 ladys what should i do he!!! he says he loves me and i really do truly beleive him ladys any advice?
2007-07-10 07:19:38 · 31 answers · asked by BLOSSOM 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't marry yet it is too soon. There are a lot of things you need to consider that take time. Like, can you deal with the fact that he has kids? Are you willing to be a parent to someone else's kids? If you marry him you will need to parent them. Live together for a bit and just enjoy that. There is no reason to rush into marriage.
2007-07-10 07:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Until you have definitive answers to the following questions that you don't have to think about to answer, you're not ready to marry and that's what you tell him:
1. Are you having children and if so, how many?
2. Where will you live once you are married?
3. Who will be in charge of finances and how will they be handled?
4. Whose career takes precidence when deciding whether or not to move or make other major changes?
5. Will you continue your education and if so, where and how?
6. With what religion will you raise your children?
7. Where do you see yourselves in 10 years?
8. How will you handle savings and retirement?
9. How will you handle family holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving? With your family or his? With both families?
Until you are both in agreement on all of the answers to these questions and truly know enough about yourselves to answer them, you are not ready to marry. It takes years to learn enough about each other in most cases to be able to make these decisions. Granted, couples who have only known each other for a few months or even days marry each other all the time. Some of them work out and some don't. Marriage isn't a game of roulette though. If you aren't sure, then you aren't ready. Ask him these questions, see if he can answer them and then see if his answers match with what you want for your life. You're awfully young and have so much time. Why rush?
2007-07-10 07:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so not a "huge problem". Seriously, if you can't just honestly tell him how you feel, you have no business getting married. Truth be told, you probably have no business living with him, either.
It's very possible that he truly loves you...that's not a valid reason for rushing into marriage. At the very least, it's a poor lesson for his children.
Tell him the truth...that you think next month is too soon, and that you'd like to wait. Easy as pie, really!
2007-07-10 07:32:57 · answer #3 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not a lady but do not marry this guy ... If he truly love you he will respect your wishes, 3 months is too soon neither one of you know anything about one another .. I don't have a problem with the age just the amount of time you Guy's know each other, take time too get lost in love before that big step I wish you well......
2007-07-10 07:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its way to early. If he truely loves you there should be no rush. You have already made a big commitment due to living together now, putting up with his children, and sharing the responsiblities of playing house. If he wants to get engaged that may be okay depending on how your heart fills but just wait awhile. Sounds like he thinks its a rush to bound you down before you figure out the real him.
2007-07-10 07:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all you know you have a problem here and honestly you know the answer within...
I would tell him that you want to slow down and take it a little slower.. You want to live together for a while and see how life together will be.. Then later on if everything is still going good then go for it..
1. age has nothing to do with anything.. it is just a number..
2. the person themselves knows if they are ready for steps in life or not.. no one should judge you..
3. he has kids.. so... get to know them better... take time to be part of thier lives slowly not just jumping in.. Hi I am your new step mom..
4. follow your heart..
2007-07-10 08:11:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you then he can wait. Don't rush into anything this is a big step, your walking into a ready made family. I think it was two soon for you to move in with him and his kids. You said you been dating for three months, so you moved in with him on your first date? This whole relationship was to fast. And you know it that's way your on here asking this question. Don't do it !
2007-07-10 07:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by Boopalot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a smart girl. You already know the answer or you wouldn't be pondering about it and asking the question. Your gut feeling is telling you something...LISTEN TO IT!!!!
It's way to early to tell if it's love or infatuation and you for sure don't know him enough to know what he's really feeling or thinking. Why are you even living with him? You hardly know him or his kids...and you are setting yourself up for a real surprise. You have lots of time to fall in love and get married. You're still young. But be foolish in safer more innocent ways...while you can still get away with it.
2007-07-10 07:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's too early to even be thinking about marriage:
* You've only been dating 3 months.
* You're still a teenager.
* You have most likely not finished your education and are not self-supporting.
* You have additional complicating factors: He has kids, and you have a 9-year age difference, which at your age is a big difference.
You know it's too soon to marry him. DON'T allow him to pressure you to marry him!!! Tell him you think it's too soon to get married and that you want to wait at least a year. (Or whatever your time frame is.)
2007-07-10 07:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
uuuhhh say no! not yet. For one, your young and he well old..er and you should have at least a year together to see who he really is. Have you met his parents? Have you had a cristmas together? How do you feel about being a step mom? You havent been dating him for that long really. Seems like hes really lusting over you and is ready to prove that he can make things right in his life. Honestly I think you need to run away from this one.
2007-07-10 07:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica - 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋