What do you think about this article about nice guys?

Question

Here's what I think is a great article about the "nice guy":

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

What do you think? At what age do girls finally start dating these guys? I am a 20-year-old nice guy and have been single for a longgg time...

Answer 1

In the begining they women who like nice guys are few and far between. There is a mixture on this. Some them say they want nice guys because that's what they want but secretly don't think they deserve them. The other reason for our not getting noticed is because they don't want the possiblitly of loosing us because all of their other bf they have lost after the relationship.

At what point does it get better for us? When I was in high school I dated a girl who's mother was 40. She told me that she wanted a boyfriend just like me when she grew up.

At another point a friend of mines mother told me that when I'm 40 I'll have all the girls.

All I have to say is god I hope that's not the case. I'm 28 right now and the opportunities for dating are starting to come, but there are still too many of them who are just now getting into the nice guy place and off of the bad boy phase so they are a little desperate and that's no good either.

I love the article I actually think I'm going to post it on my blog. It's reminiscent of somethng I wrote a while back. Also know that times are changeing. I manage a place with a bunch of younger girls and listening to them talk they really do value the nice guy. It's amazing. Maybe there is hope for the world afterall.

Answer 2

Funny article, and it does point out exactly why being 'nice' is a problem: Too much complaining. Complaing is not attractive.

I hate to sound sexist, i.e. believeing that there are difference between men and women that are purely biological, but as I have been growing older I have unfortunately found that those differences do exist. Btw, don't forget that the average difference between the sexes is much smaller than the excursions around the mean within each group, so there will always be exceptions.

When I was younger (up to about 20) I was very much a 'nice' guy, and thus rewarded with limited sucess. However, like most people there are different parts of me, and thus a 'bad boy' in there somewhere, and at some point I just got tired of dealing with girl-'friends' and decided to try something different. While never a player, I stopped being so sensitive and instead projected more of the other side of me, and started going to bars to meet a lot of people. What I found was that (1) sexual attraction, which is the major first event in a relationship, is not created by the brain, but with the rest of your persona (body, yes, but for me primarily attitude), and (2) confidence is what attracted women. Thus, instant attraction is required (so no point being 'friends' first, contrary to all the advice on this message board), and you have to be (seem?)confident. Maybe it is our whole evolutionary development that has bred this into how it works with women, but not matter why, this is the way I have found it to be. And since I am emphasing the confidence part of the package is the most important part, you will of course realize that I am average looking, with an everage body, and an average income.

Look at it this way: You need to get noticed among all the other males as a male to get started on developing a relationship. Giving a woman the same type of support that she gets from her women friends will not get you categorized as a male, unfortunately.

At some age women will be looking for a more sensitive guy (i.e. nicer), but as my ex-wife put it: she said that she wanted a sensitive tough guy. So being just 'nice' will probably not fly, even later.

So where does this leave us guys? You can't change who you are, but you need to realize that a lot of what you are is just something that you have learned, and there are other parts of you. If those other parts will bring you more 'sucess' you should be smart enough to realize that this is what you might want to emphasize. It is somewhat uncomfortable in the beginning, but that it is what you need to do. Think about it in the same way as when you go to the gym. It is hard work and uncomfortable, but it you persist you will have a better athletic body. Does that mean that you changed or that you started emphasizing a different part of you, that was there all along (I have a washboard stomach underneath a pile of dirty laundry, so I just removed the laundry)?

Anyway, just my $0.02 based on what I have learned over the course of a long time.

Answer 3

Yup true I've had a guy like this as a friend before. He was awesome! great friend and sure soon enough I started liking him and seeing more than a friend but turns out that he came up wit that stupid excuse it says on the article "oh it'll ruin our friendship"... so i just let him go a month later i found the perfect guy that turn out to be a "nice guy" but w/ the guts to ask me out! 6 months later my friend came back to tell me he was sorry and that he really wanted to be wit me but too bad for him so idk i think those nice guys should step up and ask out girls cuz if not then a smarter "nice guy" is gonna come the way && take the girl

Answer 4

I'm also a nice guy and it's about time I read something like this to cheer me up, LOL... Thanks for posting this. This made my day, LOL. I find everything said on that article to be true in every way. Girls are confusing to figure out. But you know what, those are the kinds of girls that I wouldn't want to date either. They are the very confused girls and not sure what they want. Wouldn't it be nice for a "Nice Guy" to date a "Nice Girl," LOL!!!

Answer 5

Those guys are falling for the wrong girls just as those girls are falling for the wrong guys... it's very simple.

The nice guys are obviously not looking at the nice girls either. Because a nice girl wouldn't use them like that.

Answer 6

Hard to say about what age they are found. Because most the time, they are in plain view but are never seen. I give them a thumbs up. I pat them all on the back and a hug for luck. You guys are the best !!

Answer 7

I love the article I actually think I'm going to post it on my blog and I also like write .Those guys are falling for the wrong girls just as those girls are falling for the wrong guys.i advise to you you also know it please visit this web sit and see nice article .
largearticle.com

Answer 8

It hits the nail on the head. I think it funny but honest.

Answer 9

FU CK IN right ..... they actually start in highschool.. again as it said... finding a single one is the real challenge...

Answer 10

why do you keep on posting te same question?
but it is true and i totally agree
:)