ok toms exwife is a wonderfull/involved mom to thier only child who is 8 yrs old.She is still single and relies on my hus for advice/support regarding thier son who is her life.I know she is not happy about me being the "new wife" as she sees me in "her place".My question is i don't want to make trouble with her so what can i do or don't do to avoid conflict with her?What does your exhusbands new wife do that pisses you off regarding your kids?
2007-07-10 06:25:56 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh my... I am a step mom as well (for 26 years now). It sounds very kind of you to be worried about his ex, but that is what is concerning. It is not about her - it is about your husband and the child! Please just be yourself and confer with your spouse about issues with your step child. You should you never worry about "trouble/conflict" with the ex. (if it is going to happen it will no matter what you do!) You will make yourself crazy, and she will run your life (even if not intentional), regarding the child. You will set yourself up for trouble if you are concerning yourself with not rocking the boat with her. That is something that is not in your power, nor should it be a worry. If anything should concern you - it should be your husbands response and dealing with her. You are not just the "new wife" - you are the Only Wife! Please have confidence in that, and remember that you are not trying to be the "new mother". You could be sure to lovingly let your husband and the ex know that. Your not replacing your step child's mother - only your husbands wife!
2007-07-10 06:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very smartest thing my daughter did when she married a man with a 12yr old daughter was make best friends with the mother. Since the soon to be ex husband turned out to be a lying cheat, and walked out on my daughter after 4 months (long engagement, apparently he doesn't do marriage very well), my daughter has been able to maintain a very important relationship, her step daughter by having made friends with the mother. Also as it turned out, the mother has been super supportive, she knows exactly what kind of jerk he is.
So I'm also advising you to keep in mind that they divorced for a reason. While you should never talk about that, keep it in the back of your mind.
2007-07-10 07:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋