Is it just me or do you find rude when...?

Question

Someone has died. For example a pet and you tell someone; && they're like," oh well that sucks." or eve if a person you cared about has died and their like, "that sucks"

i dont know...
im sure a person can find a different word than 'sucks.'
i just kind of find it rude.
your thoughts?

haha.
sorry.
it looks like my question is asking do you find it rude when someone dies.
>.<
haha. sorry.

Answer 1

It's rude. It's also a sad commentary that people have such a limited vocabulary and lack of etiquette that they don't know what else to say!

Answer 2

What is the first thing that you would said? I would probably say something like oh my gosh, that sucks. Is there anything I can do for you, what happened, etc.? If the only thing they say is "that sucks", and then they proceed to talk about the Yankees game or something, then that is rude. By saying "that sucks", they are probably trying to sympathize with you. As long as they carry the rest of their of conversation with you in a manner that shows they are concerned, it shouldn't be taken as an insult. Death is a very touchy subject and most people struggle to find the right words. Young people especially struggle with this, as they have had a lot less experience with death than somebody in their 60's has.

Answer 3

One thing is for sure -- when there is a death you are going to hear a LOT of stupid comments, often from unlikely places --- mixed in with more graceful ones.

The truth is we are not practiced at dealing with death and bereavement and most people do not know what to say --- and are so afraid of saying the wrong thing and giving offense that they say nothing at all, which leaves the grieving one feeling as though they don't care.

It is just shyness and awkwardness. Keep in mind they are trying to sympathize. They didn't hear that news and think, "hey, I know, I'll say something rude and hurt her feelings!"

Take the lead with manners --- even if they say, "that sucks" (and it probably does, in fact, suck) reply by saying, "thanks for your sympathy" or "I knew you'd understand." That might loosen things up a bit.

And if you are dealing with a death right now, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

Maybe, but what do you say when nothing you can say is really meaningful? Sorry for your loss. Oh, I heard the bad news. Is there anything I can do?

The official answers all stink--the only way you can say something meaningful is if you have had similar loss in your life, and even then it's tough to find something to say. "Oh, it devestated me when ___ died last year, I just had to get it together and get my life moving again" (which gives the unintended subtext "people die, get over it, I had worse happen in my life").

All a friend can do is be there for you. There is no way they will say the right thing. Try to excuse their comments--they almost have to make one, and there isn't a nice one to make.

Answer 5

I'm sure it sounds rude, but at the same time...but the person probably just doesn't know any better, or has just been informed and can't think of anything more appropriate to say on the spot. Just be happy they're not saying 'that's great!'

And yes...it is just plain rude when someone dies!

Answer 6

I was at work and letting some of the girl know I would be off for a few days to attend my hubby's great grandfathers funeral, and mind you all the women I work with have at least a bachelors degree most of them have a masters, and she looked at me dead (no pun intended) serious and said "Golly gee that sucks a big one"

I am thinking "Hello" I thought that was kind of rude...I just don't think people think that's all

Answer 7

I think that's the least rude of many relpies... NOONE kwnos the right reply to that becasue there's never a perfect thing to say and no matter what you say you cant bring the dead back..so i think well that sucks im sorry to hear that is alot better than saying...for example"huh..." or "well that blows mokey nuts"(oh i've heard that before) or my fave"well they were old what are ya gonna do?"

Answer 8

Unfortunately, the English language has become to slaughtered with street slang. "Sucks" does not sound like a comforting word to me either. However, sounds like people who use such phrases have not had such a loss and don't know how else to express their sympathy. What they are really trying to say is, "I'm really sorry and can't imagine your loss".

A nice response would be, "I'm sorry for your/our loss, ________ will really be missed/ ________ was such a good person. If, there is any thing that I can do please let me know, even if, you just need someone to listen or to talk with."

Answer 9

yes that is rude to hear that sucks when informing somebody that a person per pet has passed. my responce would be im sorry top hear that. but maby when the person does say that sucks, either they dont care because they dont know the person/pet, or they feel uncomfortable, and say the firstthing that comes out of their mouth, with out realizing how insencative it sounds.

Answer 10

When it comes to the subject of death alot of people are at a loss of what to say to the person. I really do agree that the phrase "that sucks" is totally inappropriate. I think that people have a knack for NOT thinking before they say something.
Just remember that even though they say something that may offend you, they may be trying to console you, even though they are doing a crappy job.
People say that to me all the time. I just reply with "yeah, ya think?!"

Answer 11

ya I think the person could find a better word than "sucks" to describe the situation. They could say "I'm sorry you've had to go through that." or something a little more supportive along those lines.