what does it mean if the only way you can reach orgasm with your boyfriend, is if you're imaging another man?

Question

The relationship is pretty good otherwise (conversation, etc), with the exception of a few very off-putting idiosyncracies. There's no 'spark' at all...but there never has been. Does this mean I should be with someone else?

I know the obvious answer is move on, because it's the fair thing to both of us. But, yeah....I guess I'm just looking for unbiased reassurance that ending it and being friends is the right thing to do...

Answer 1

If there's no spark at all, you might want to consider looking for someone that there IS a spark with.

But just imagining someone else... that's not a big deal. Just keep it to yourself. I have all kinds of bizarre fantasies to help me get off... and my husband doesn't need to know about them!

Answer 2

Measuring the penis when it isn't erect is pointless, since the length and bulk are affected by various temporary factors, such as the ambient temperature. Even the largest male organ can shrink to virtually nothing if the man goes for a swim in cold water. However, at normal temperatures a non-erect p enis usually measures between 8.5 cm and 10.5 cm (3-4 inches) from tip to base.
Learn more about techniques to enlarge your penis https://tr.im/p6EJK
The average figure is about 9.5 cm (3.75 inches). Of course, it's true that some men have big penises and some have smaller ones, just as some men have small feet and some have big feet, but the measurement is not – repeat not – an index of virility.

Answer 3

Yes, you should always "feel" something when you are with someone, especially from the beginning, now it is OK if it has been a couple years and you only get the "spark" occasionally but you need to end this. About reaching your orgasm, there is nothing wrong with imagining something else, even a man but if this man is someone close to you or you know then you need to act on talking with him and let your current boyfriend go.

Answer 4

You might be fairly insensitive, so I recommend using supplementary products... Personally, I recommend KY Jelly, but that's mainly a matter of preference. Also, masturbating for a little bit before actually having sex can help a great deal to get you that much closer to having an orgasm.

Answer 5

I know what you mean. I married a man on that basis, wonderful man, very good to me, but no "spark". I speak from experience when I say it takes both the spark and the flame for true happiness with another person.

Answer 6

Does he have a respectable sex drive? Maybe y'all need to look into polyamory. Make sure to budget a couple thousand dollars for psychological counseling as all your self-esteem and jealousy issues come back up to the surface, but if it works out for you, that may be what you need - the steady relationship with each other, and the option of sex with outsiders.

Answer 7

The time has come to decide is this the best it gets. If your not happy an there is no hope for you 2 to get it together, than part. No affairs that cheap.

Answer 8

well that can happen but you know as long as you are having good sex and having orgasms imaging about another man but you like the everything else about this guy what does it hurt. iv thought of other girls when iv had sex with my girl..having fantasies about other ppl are normal...the brain is a sex organ also so use it.

Answer 9

well in some ways it could mean that you should be with some one else.. and also becasue the fact that when you imagine some one else it is more of a turn on and the fact it makes you wonder if there could be some one else that could be better.

Answer 10

End it, girl. You love him as a friend, nothing more. Don't wait till he asks you to marry him & you absolutely have to say NO WAY, or either that say yes out of pity.