I just started a new job about a month ago, I really like the job and the benefits are awesome. However, one of the other women I work with is always putting me down. Pointing out my mistakes and making rude comments about everything I do. It is really getting to me. She isn't my boss or anything she has just been there for much longer and thinks she is. I don't know what to do. Confronting her is not an option I don't think, I've already tried, and I don't want to quit. What shoud I do?
2007-07-10 05:25:25 · 11 answers · asked by ns_360 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
I would go to your boss, let him/her know what is going on. Ask your boss if you are in fact doing something wrong, and if so, ask for the correct way to do it. Tell them that you are concerned and want to make sure that you are in fact doing your job correctly. I'm sure he/she will be understanding, as I bet your coworker has done this before...good luck to you, don't quit on someone else's account!!
2007-07-10 05:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This woman's ego is fraglie, and you need to help build it up. Try going to her for advice - "You've been here so much longer, how would you handle this?" "You must have seen this before, what would you do in this situation?" Don't be fake about it - be sincere, and respectful.
Put yourself in her shoes - she's older, she's been there a while, she probably hasn't advanced in her career, she may not be all that attractive - now here comes a sharp, attractive, younger woman who may well get promoted above her. You're a threat to her, and she is making sure that you know your place. The best way to defuse that threat is to get closer to it - not what you might think would be effective, but it almost always works.
Hold your friends close, and your enemies closer - good luck.
2007-07-10 12:40:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confronting her in private is really the best way to deal with this. You have to be very frank with her and let her know that you're not going to put up with her crap. If she doesn't stop, talk to your supervisor and let them know that you're really trying very hard and that its difficult for you due to the incessant criticism and brow-beating you receive from this coworker. Let them know that you're trying very hard to make it a pleasant work environment and that you would like their advice on what to do. Its very possible that this woman feels threatened by you. She most likely has nothing to worry about - you're probably not after her job, but she probably feels threatened nonetheless.
If you feel that there is someone else there that you work with that's not in a position of authority that you can ask for advice first, go that route. Maybe you're not the only one she does this to..;..
2007-07-10 12:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Larissa_Lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you give more examples of the rude things she says? What kinda work do you do?
Honestly, I think confronting her is the best thing for you to do. Don't be a *****, just approach her nicely and say something like "I know I'm new here and haven't quite gotten the hang of everything yet, but your rude comments and criticism are not helping. Is there something you'd like to say?" I'd like to see her be rude when you've approached her calmly and politely.
2007-07-10 12:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is befriending her an option? Maybe asking her to go out to lunch or coffee when not at work and seeing if this curbs her potential dislike of you. Also are you sure she is really being rude? If you said she is pointing out your mistakes, you must be making some. Could she be actually helping you in pointing out mistakes that could get you in trouble with your boss? Id rather have her point them out to me than to go above me to my boss and have me look bad! Maybe shes not tactfull in the way she says things but is it possible she is trying to help you?
2007-07-10 12:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by Scott S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she in some type of training role. If not, then she doesn't have much of a right to correct you all the time. Could you talk to your supervisor? I would probably say something like, "I know Cindy means well and she really cares but the way she says it really bothers me". This way it shows you are open to "Cindy" correcting you (constructive critisizm it OK and part of the job) but you don't like the way it's being said. Be ready to give specific details of what she.
2007-07-10 12:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by Simba 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're super sweet to her, it'll drive her bonkers. But if it's causing you troubles at your work, then you have to mention it.. if you can, mention it to her and try to find out what is bothering her (I have my suspicions..) If you can't or if that doesn't work, I'd talk to the boss.
Sounds like she's intimidated by you.... very intimidated actually. Every little thing she says, just give her that look you'd give a kid that is misbehaving.. you know like 'Ok dear, whatever'
2007-07-10 12:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by GollyBeth! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try ignoring her.i know it bothers you,thats why she does it,and if all else fails do it to her on some of her inadequacies in front of others,point out some mistakes she makes and assure her you dont want her job but would appreciate it if she would leave you alone and if all else fails tell her not to kindly to back off
2007-07-10 12:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by mamanana9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TO HER SUPERVISOR, OR TELL HER OFF...GO BACK AT HER WHEN SHE HAS SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY..BUY HER A VIBRATOR AND STICK IT IN HER DESK WHENS SHE'S NOT AROUND,AND LEAVE HER A LITTLE NOTE ALONG WITH IT,(with someone else hand writing on it of course)
2007-07-10 12:30:39 · answer #9 · answered by CCRIDER69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
l know this will not be the best answer but i dont care . kick her *** .. and if you cant get somebody you know to do it for you ..lmao
2007-07-10 12:43:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋