This is my storie. My boyfriend and I hve been dating almost 2 months,but about a 3 weeks ago he told me that he loves me!! I told him that i love him too because i do!! Then the other night he asked me to marry him!! I dont know what to do!!! Someone please help me!!!
2007-07-10 05:04:55 · 49 answers · asked by ladyofdice_69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
OK let me rephrase this! I am 20 years old i have a 3 year old little girl that i love to death i would never do anything that would jeopardize her!! I have been dating this guy for 2 months maybe a little longer. I love him to death. But the other night he asked me to marry him i told him i dont know bc we have only been dating 2 months or a little longer. If we did get married it would be May 2008. But is that enough time to really get to know him bc i have been in a serious relationship before i was with him for 5 1/2 years but we were younge and stupid then and im still younge. I just dont know what to do about all this, i just want to know what other ppl think about this! So pls give me some advice!!
2007-07-10 07:03:57 · update #1
I do not doubt your love for eachother...even in that short of a time period.
But if you have ANY question at ALL (and it sounds like you do) about this being too soon, then it is.
If he loves you truly, he will wait until you are 100% ready to say yes.
Enjoy dating for as long as you need, then once you know that you know, enjoy a short engagement.
If things end up not working out, it's much easier to break up with a boyfriend than with a fiance.
2007-07-14 04:56:17 · answer #1 · answered by SillyWyl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend asked me to marry him after our third date. We knew right away it was meant to be. However, we discussed it and decided that it was WAY too soon to actually act on the impulse. Since we're both adults we decided to wait for better timing. We've known each other for over 10 years and we don't mind waiting since we know it's inevitable. We've been dating for almost a year now and have decided that by the midlee of next year we can get engaged and take on all the responsibility of having our own home, etc that comes along with marriage. The engagement isn't set in stone but we definitely had to discuss the timeframe that would work best for us. Getting engaged without a thought about the future isn't a wise thing to do. Talk to him about it, if he really means it he will not have a problem waiting.
Tell him that yes, in time you will marry him. Not now or next week but eventually (if you truly believe this!). Remember that what is meant to be will always find a way!
Good luck
2007-07-10 06:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kristy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend that just got married. They got engaged after dating 3 months... not too different from you.
They decided to have a long engagement. With good reason.
They got married a year and a half later. They are great for each other.
With that said do I think it was too fast, probably, but at least they had the foresight to have a long engagement. Get to know each other a little more before they got married.
On the other hand I have been dating the same man for almost 2 years and don't see us getting engaged any time soon. (Although a girl can have hope, can't she?)
All comes down to different strokes for different folks.
2007-07-10 05:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandma and grandpa got married on their 3rd date.....still were together when my grandpa died and ten years later-she still wont even look at another man. Sometimes you just know it is right.
But obviously YOU are uncomfortable with the fast paced relationship that you are in-otherwise you wouldn't be literrally "screaming for help". You need to sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how you are feeling. Make sure to point out that all though you do love him or have strong feelings or whatever, that you want to take your time with commitment of marriage. Maybe even give him a time frame so he knows what to expect. Tell him if everything is still going great in 6 months or year or however long you want-you two will definitely re-address the wedding thing then.
Good luck to you!
2007-07-10 05:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a little... At age 20 -- I would say 2 years before getting married. You really don't know someone until at least a year of regular time together -- that's when the whole person emerges. And don't have your daughter spend too much time with him until you're more sure -- the last thing she needs is to have that bond broken. Tell him you're considering marrying him, but because you are so young and want to protect your daughter you need to have more time with him so that your experience of him will be more full. Without the time element, your knowing him can only go so far. Good luck -- and one last thing -- don't move in with him! Wait until you're married -- it will set a better example for your daughter.
2007-07-14 12:19:20 · answer #5 · answered by mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bit quick, but there are a number of factors you haven't told us, such as, did you know each other before you started dating? If you did, that makes things a little better. If you really love him and think he's Mr. Right, say yes. There are plenty of relationships out there that have lasted 50+ years that moved very quickly. However, I would recommend a longish engagement--say, 8 months to a year--to get to know each other better and make sure it's the right thing to do (who wants to spend all that money on a wedding and then turn around and spend even more on lawyers for a divorce?).
2007-07-10 05:16:44 · answer #6 · answered by spunk113 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously date someone for at least a year before I considered marrying them. You don't really, truly deeply know a person until you've been with them AT LEAST that long. Especially for your little girl - you sound like you want the best for her. Don't let this be the start of a parade of "dads" through her life. I'm sure that you love him, but if he truly loves you he will give you at least a year of dating. Then you can think about getting married. Good luck!
2007-07-14 16:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by Pineapple Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You're moving too fast.
It's OK to love someone a lot - and to genuinely make plans to be together forever. BUT 8 weeks is not nearly enough time to really get to know someone well enough to meld your life with his.
That said, ask if you could put off the engagement thing so as not to rush into things too fast. If he balks or pressures you in any way - run - don't walk - RUN from him.
As you two grow your relationship, watch to see if he is jealous or possessive and says things like "When we're married, I want you to stay home..." which sounds so sweet- until he starts to monitor your car mileage, your phone calls, your mail, your email etc. etc. etc. Then it's no fun any more.
Men who pressure and bully someone into a marriage are too often abusive controlling husbands.
2007-07-10 06:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 sets of friends who have done this. One was a month of dating and 2 months of engagement. The other was 2 months of dating and one month of engagement. Both couples have been happily married for over 5 years each. But they were all at least 21 when they did it, too... They had jobs and were able to afford the finances of getting married.
At least wait until you're out of HS and have jobs before getting married. Trouble with finances is one of the biggest marriage-killers.
2007-07-10 05:39:08 · answer #9 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's right, you would know, and the fact that you don't tells me it's not time. Since you have a daughter and she will most likely get emotinaly attached to this guy, I say hold off. There is nothing worse for a child than to get attached to someone then have them leave.
I know people who got married after 12 days and were totally happy for over 50 years. But that is not the norm.
If the time was right, there would be no question about it.
2007-07-16 08:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by foxxinaboxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋