This is a crazy situation but here goes. My boyfriends mother is going through an incredibly NASTY divorce. Last week, someone allegedly called social services on her for something with her two little girls (5 & 2). I don't know many of the details with it, but she thinks it was me. This was Monday that I was accused by her. My BF thinks she's completely irrational about the whole situation but she will not even listen to him if he tries to reason with her. Wednesday, she called the police and got an order from them to keep me off the property and from calling the house. If I do either, I will be arrested. I assure you all, I DID NOTHING WRONG, I did nothing to instigate any of this. I guess my question for y'all is, what do I do? My Bf & I are planning to move out by the end of the summer, I'm just afraid what this rift btwn his mom and I will do to us...
2007-07-10 04:14:43 · 10 answers · asked by divarhd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ouch......There is nothing you can really do. If you and your bf are going to be moving out at the end of summer and if your bf knows you did not call social services and he is standing behind you with his mother. then I say ride it out. Either she will come around and believe you or she will lose her son. Either way it isn't your fault. Sounds like she is just angry at the world and right now you are the target give it time and let her cool off. Your bf hasn't changed his feelings for you. you need to remember to be understanding towards his mom or he will start to resent you for bad mouthing her. Time heals all wounds...or so they say.....good luck
2007-07-10 04:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
let me tell you something, my bf and i have been together for 2 1/2 years. The first day we got together she did not like me. But that didn't stop him from being with me because he loves me. I don't know where he stays and he always come to my house to see me. You cant let that stuff bother you because it can have a big strain on your relationship with him. If he believes then don't stress it so much, just let him know how sorry you are for all this happening (even though it was not your fault)and try to move on. You said y'all was getting your on place so don't take it to the heart. Keep your head up and stay focused on your relationship with you bf. Don't let something like this get in the way of happiness. I don't!!!
2007-07-10 11:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by vanillaswril 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is using the path of least resistance to fight with. She knows you haven't done anything wrong. She is trying to hurt someone else the same way she is hurting. Unfortunately she is choosing to hurt you and her son, in the process. Maybe she is jealous of the relationship you two have; and at the same time has recreated the same since of separation and pain she is going through with her divorce. She did that by having an order against you from being able to come see her son or call the house to speak to him. The same way she can't speak with her soon to be ex-husband whom she can't see or speak to either. He is the one who probably called social services on her, and she knows it.
2007-07-10 11:46:25 · answer #3 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The order of protection is temporary, you might be able to contest it depending on what state you're from. Just give her space and in time, after everything cools down your BF needs to be the one to deciede what kind of relationship he wants with his mom. This woman sounds controlling and manipulative, if she's not those things remember she's going through a rough time. Someone just tried to get her kids taken away from her. I'm surprised she didn't blame her X. Just keep your distance and let things blow over.
2007-07-10 11:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by Jnine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.. i'm sorry you're caught in the middle of this ... sometimes divorces cause people to stop seeing things clearly, and if it's a bad one, sometimes anxiety clouds our thinking.
give it time, and hopefully, your boyfriend's mother will come around. the only thing i can think of that you can do is send her a card with a note saying that you care about her and her family, you feel she's a good person and mother, and you would never do anything to hurt her or her children...
if you do... wait a little bit first. she needs some time to settle down.
sending hugs
2007-07-10 11:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend still sees her then you could write a little note for him to give to her. Explain that you would never do anything to jeapordize her relationship with her children and tell her that if she can find it in her heart to believe you then you'd love to get to know her better. as the other people said, divorce causes people to think differently than they used to and they can be very touchy at times. I'm sure if you give her some time she'll realize she severely overreacted to the situation.
2007-07-10 11:39:04 · answer #6 · answered by IndiHippi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's not the one you're dating, so don't worry about it. let that crazy lady think what she wants to think. besides, from what you've said, your bf is standing behind you and obviously isn't doubting you. sounds to me like his mother is simply angry at the world right now and it may be a while before she realizes that she was wrong. until then, just try and not have any contact with her, ride it out and then live happily ever after with your bf :)
2007-07-10 11:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by luv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do nothing! Trying to clear your name with her, is only going to cause her to become more upset and it's just best for you to lay low for now. He will probably want to go see his mother before you guys move and that is fine. He should find ways to get things calmed between them. Wished there were some way for you to find out who reported her but unfortunately that is confidential. It will probably come out sometime later on. I wouldn't worry too much but don't bad mouth his mother to him they will only make matters worse.
2007-07-10 11:33:05 · answer #8 · answered by Funeeegurl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to your boyfriedn and tell him how you feel so he can talk to his mother because youre right you shouldnt start the relationship with his mother off like that. and dont get upset because people you know just take the anger out on the innoncent because they are angry and just dont think before they take actions but dont stress out over that talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel
2007-07-10 11:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by nisha10mabry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still loves you it won't change a thing. As for you, you have to accept the fact that his mom doesn't like you.
2007-07-10 11:38:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋