1 yr old cries when left @ babysitters?

Question

every morning when i leave my 1yr and 2 months old at the babysitters he constantly cries. What can I do to make him feel more comfortable around her so he won't cry when i leave. Someone please help! Thanks in advance. I also have a 3 yr old and sometimes when the little one cries the big one starts to cry too. Anyone with experience please.. Thanks..

also i talked to my 3 yr old son cause he is so smart and we have a lot of communication, i asked his "is the babysitter nice?" and he said yes, "do they hit you?" and he said no but that they hit a little girl in her hand, like a little slap in the hand. and now everytime i tell him that i'm going to take hime there the next morning he says no cause they hit the girl..

Answer 1

Sometimes you just have to let them cry. He is sad because you are leaving, but he'll get over it pretty quickly. Don't keep hanging around and acting worried about it. They pick up on your anxiety and that makes it worse. Just give him a quick kiss goodbye and head out the door. Don't draw it out or keep coming back. If he cries when you leave and you come back in, he will keep crying because he will know that will get you back.

Answer 2

I would never trust anyone who resorts to spanking a child, or even slapping the hand. It demonstrates that this babysitter does not have the patience, knowledge or willingness to actually solve the situation that prompted it without violence, however mild it may appear.

Hitting children not only teaches them that hitting is okay, but it teaches them to fear, not trust, those who they should be able to trust to keep them from harm.

My advice below applies only if the sitter can be trusted!

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This is bound to happen around this age.

My advice, if you trust your sitter, is to not linger!

Drop your children off, give them a hug and solid goodbye, and that you'll be back soon, and then leave.

While crying can indicate that they are upset, they also become aware that it can keep you there longer, which is the intent! Leave without giving too much attention to the crying and it will usually stop moments after you leave.

Eventually, they won't even cry, because they will be doing something more 'fun'.

The problem with distracting them as they leave is that the parent may not see them cry, but when the child figures out they've been duped, they get angry and cry even harder and sometimes, much longer than they would have if they saw the parent leave. (especially as they get older)

Answer 3

make sure the babysitter is not harming the child first and foremost when you are not there...the child could be afraid of her for some reason and you need to address that!! If you know that the child is in good hands, just talk to your child and the older one every night before the babysitters and reassure them, that you love them and will come back for them...you just need some mommy time(working)..the little one might very well be going through seperation anexity and it's just reassuring him everty night you will come back for him and being consitent and leaving right away at the babysitter's...do not hang around cause he is crying, he will sense that and keep doing that...drop him off , give them a hug and leave. I know it's hard but just be patient and he will stop!!! good luck

Answer 4

I have a 18 month old & she also is now experiencing the seperation anxiety. It started when she was just about a year old, & then subsitded. But now it has started agian. She is now starting to cry when i leave her at the sitters house also. It is so hard, & it is something that I am trying to deal with at the moment also. I guess that just makes us realize that we are awesome parents & we love our babies so much, that we hate to see them hurting-physically or emotionally. So just be strong, because from what i understand it only tends to get worse as they get older until grade school i'm guessing it will then pass. I have learned to just say a quick goodbye, give a kiss & then be on my way. Just staying tends to make it worse. So try making it short & sweet. They will usually calm down within minutes of your departure. Unless you suspect they don't like your sitter. If your uneasy about the sitter, i would reconsider another one. But more than likely it is just a little seperation anxiety. Good Luck & stay strong~for your kids sake at least.

I also wanted to add that I will actually wave at my little girl through the front window so that she will see that mommy is actually leaving the premises not just her. Most of the time she will just smile & wave. I think your child needs to know that you are leaving, leaving, not just walking out on him/her.

And don't sneek out...that doesn't work out very well. I think your children need to see you leave, & they need to get used to the repeition of you leaving them & then picking them backup. :]

Answer 5

This is very normal. Perhaps you could include the babysitter in more of the time that you and your kids spend together (all of you go to the park, get a Happy Meal at McDonald's, etc.). That way, your son will learn to associate the babysitter with good things and not just "This lady means Mommy's not here." Like someone said before, it also wouldn't hurt to check up on them unexpectedly throughout the day, to make sure your babysitter is treating your babies with the utmost care.

Answer 6

Personally in all my babysitting experience. Started at 10 years old and at my age am just a big kid myself (over 40)
The key I believe is to find someone who really loves kids, someone who enjoys playing with kids and has te nurturing instinct.
With two sisters as teachers. A cousin who is a paediatrician and me as a healthcare worker altho my cousin says I missed my calling and shld only work with children.. I feel my credentials are great when I say.
Children don't cry for nothing

They are probably bored to death with the boring babysitter or she is a drill sergeant who just does her job without feeling the love for it that translates to the child having a great day! And that's just my opinion ESP since I grew up with 3 other siblings and my mom babysitting another 2-3 kids at a time.

What she dd that we enjoyed. Was picnics in the park. Us helping her prepare a meal. Music and dance, fun games The simple things. I think. Little kids are forced to grow up too fast.

End of story

Answer 7

Try going early and help your baby get involved in activities. It is probably separation anxiety and he may just have to outgrow it. Maybe you could give him a picture of you or a recording with your voice. Also, you might talk to the three year old and make sure that everything is fine at the sitters. If my baby cried with someone I might be worried that the sitter was the problem, but I had difficulty with the idea of my boys with a sitter. I will admit that my husband and I worked opposite shifts so that one of us were with our boys when they were little; it was a money saver and a mind saver for me. My sister-in-law had a similar problem with a sitter; she showed up early and unannounced and found her child in the car seat where she left him four hours after dropping him off. Needless to say my mother-in-law watched her children after that.

Answer 8

This will happen when you change them to a place they do not recognize. My daughter cried for 2 weeks everytime I would leave her in the morning. But the sitter told me it is also my attitude when I left her, to encourage her to go play and it will be fun and not show attachment or worry. I have been told that once I am gone, she settles down and distracts herself. Ask them what they do to entertain him to get his attention and trust. Maybe they are doing also something wrong that makes him feel uncomfortable there. If he is not new there and this is constant, I would look into it a bit more.

Answer 9

Ask the babysitter if they stop once you leave. If they do then dont do anything differently. Just say bye-bye see you later. But if they continue to cry for a long time then maybe you need another sitter or day care program.

Answer 10

a lot of babies go through this. it will take a while but eventually it will go away. when babies get around 5 months and older they tend to want to be w/ the caretakers they are use to (mom and dad) and nobody else. Babies don't realize when mommy and daddy goes away for a while they are coming back. To them when they see you walk out that door you aren't coming back and they don't want to stay w/ this person who they hardly know. Eventually he/she will get use to the babysitter and leaving them will be alot easier. You just have to be patient and the baby will soon realize that you will be back eventually.