im getting ready to move out of my parents house. How do i tell them and begin the process?

Question

I will be 18 in a month. I know this is a big decison. I am finacially stable and I graduated college. My parents are very controlling and LOVE to know my every move. I apreciate everything they've done for me, BUT I beleive its time for me to move out on my own. I've tired calculating costs and looked at wonderful apartments. The rests of my family is very supportive of my decison. The next step is breaking it to my parents and having their input, but I dont know how. To them I'm still a child...

Answer 1

Wow, you've graduated college at 18? If that is so, I believe they will be understanding of you moving out on your own. Just sit them down and talk to them.

If you meant you graduated high school, then they may not be so understanding. All you can do is just talk to them and tell them how you feel.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

You will aways be a child to them.

You are their child.

18 is not truly a mature age, maturity has nothing to do with age, some are mature beyond their age, some never mature.

At 18 you acquire certain legal rights, but you may have mature already or you may take few years, so give benefit of doubt, make deals about curfew, and other things, request privacy, if boy friend is involved then that is all together a different thing, you said you have graduated college that is very good if you have 4 years degree, but if it is only an associate degree then stay at home get a full B.A , AB, or B.S. or go for MS, take advantage of the sheltered life at home under their protection. Build a carrier, study hard, play some enjoy the youth and make the most of it.

But.

You wrote " The next step is breaking it to my parents and having their input, but I dont know how". You will have to just let them know your intention, pick a good time, break it gently most parents if they feel that they do not want their child to move out then they suggest deals.

The recent trend is that children move back in their parents home after spreading their wing a little, there is nothing wrong in that either.

So do not burn bridges.

Go away for MS or any higher education, this will give you an automatic time on your own away from the sheltered life with parents, without any objection. This will give you an experience worth every additional penney that you will need to spend to be way from it all.

Answer 3

You graduated from college and you are 18? wow, I'm impressed!! Most people are just getting out of high school at 18 !! You said you are financially stable. Is this because of your job? I think that education doesn't always incude common sense. Your parents might see you as still just turing 18 and not having much experience out of the classroom. If you're a girl, it's especially hard on the parents because it makes you more vulnerable in the outside world. If I were you, I would show your parents how you have planned and calculated costs for living on your own. If you show that you are thinking about your finances and capabilities, then that shows that you have some maturity in your thinking. YOu are young, but, if you have a good job and a car , I don't see why it wouldn't work. Your parents know you pretty well, so they should see your maturity.

Answer 4

well first of all to be finacially stable and have graduated college at 18 is unbelieveable. secondly you need to get out and experience the world, however one word of advice, It isnt easy. bills will pile up and you will be stressed. get a roomate, which by the way will not be an easy task either. Watch out for the crazys. Let your parents know that you are not a child anymore and you need to spread your wings and be the young man or woman that you are. No matter what they cant keep you there because you are 18, but i do understand that you want their approval. They may be upset at first but they will later get over it and start buying you stuff for your appartment and even give decorateing tips. This is comming from an only child who went threw the same thing. The only reason they are controlling is because they love you so much and want to protect you. You will better understand this when you have children of your own.

Answer 5

The first thing to get is that your parents know you have to move out too; maybe not as soon as you want to, but they know it's inevitable. No matter how old you get, to your parents, you'll always be a child. It terrifying for them that their little baby wants to move out of the house and get independent. They feel helpless to protect you from the big bad world.

So once you can get that its their love for you that propels them to do things that may seem controlling or irritating, perhaps its time to let them know how much you love them and assure them that they will always be a part of your life.

Telling parents about big decisions is never easy. But if you can do it in a way that gives them some idea that you are a responsible adult, you will go a long way to making it smoothing it over.

A good way is to make special time for it. don't throw it as them on your way somewhere, or wait for a fight to make it easier for you. Instead, make a date, go out together, just the 3 of you. Don't take a bunch of siblings or friends or family to take your side. Your parents will feel like you're ganging up on them. Besides you really don't need protection from your own parents.

Start with letting them know you love them. And share about whats led up to your decision. Avoid complaining and blaming them. "I need to get out because you guys are so controlling!" is never a good option. But telling them how you need to start testing your wings, stop living off them, creating your own space...these could all help.

Give them space to be upset, or mad. If you allow them that then it will pass quickly. Most of it is just blind fear and sorrow about their baby growing up.

Finally, hug them. And ask for advice and help. They might give more than you want...but they'll be assured that you still want them in your life.

Answer 6

I also moved out with 18, it´s better to avoid to give too many explications.
Just tell them that you made up your mind and hope, that they will support you, but in the case, that they won´t accept your decision, you will go on with your plans, as you are full of age.
Parents adapt to new circumstances, because they love their children, so don´t worry, if they put a long face.
Good luck!!

Answer 7

Gradually tell them you are thinking about moving... Tell them you want to become more responsible and learn how to take care of yourself. They will surely get the point and change their mind. You really have to sell the idea that its for the better and you want to become a better person. Get your apartment and gradually start buying furniture while your still living at home. Also try and throw in a good reason like your moving closer to work or school ect. Good Luck.. Welcome to the real world..

Answer 8

Well you start the conversation by reminding them what a good job they have done raising you and that they have taught you to be responsbile and trustworthy and now it is time for you to test your own wings. All birds leave the nest and its not time for them to let you go. They have given you a good foundation and now it the time you must begin to use it. Remind them that if you ever do need help you will go to them and let them help you. That way it seems like only a trial to them and gives them time to get use to the idea

Answer 9

Graduated college at 18? Sounds to me like you are smart enough to make your own decisions. Just sit them down and explain that you've thought this through and you need to make decisions on your own. I am sure they'll be supportive. Good luck hun.

Answer 10

Sit them both down and thank them for everything they have done for you. Let them know that you love them but that it is time to be out on your own. Assure them that you have done the math and that you can handle the bills and let them know you will always be there for them. Good Luck on the move!