girls opinions requested please (must have bf to answer)?

Question

ok, some background... I have known this girl since I was little... we ended up being each other's first everything... kiss, bf/gf, sexual partner etc.... ok, well we are still really good friends, and she is always over my house, hanging out, doing the friend thing... we have been this way for about 3 years... I have been in a new relationship for about 3 months and have not told her about my friend and I's history, should I tell my gf, or just leave the past the past???... but, my gf and my friend are starting to become friends, and what if she tells my gf??? then my @$$ is in trouble... what should I do???

Answer 1

SAY IT NOW. Much better to come from you than them finding out without you around, then it sounds like you're purposely hiding stuff. Hurry up!

Answer 2

Oooh that's a tough one - I can almost promise you that if you tell your girlfriend about your past relationship with your "friend" she is going to be upset and will not like it that she is around you all of the time. You are also correct that your girlfriend will be p.o.'d if/when she finds out the truth and you didn't tell her. You are better off just telling her the truth and letting her decide what she thinks about the situation. I mean, I wouldn't want a bf who was hanging out with his "first everything" all the time - or, at all actually. You are going to end up having to choose between the two. Just curious though - if you are "really good friends" with your first everything, why isn't she your gf?? That's the first thing I look for in a significant other - someone who I can be good friends with.

Answer 3

Just me... I think you should tell your gf. It's better if she knows now than find out later, b/c then she'll really seriously be pi**ed off at you for not telling her, esp. since your gf and your ex from 3 years ago are hanging out w/each other. They may be friends, but hey, girls talk... stuff come out... your friend (ex) may say something accidentally like "he likes it when...." or "yeah, he once....." Believe me, you gf will get it. And then get on your case. And then you'll get it.

Talk to your gf when there are no interruptions, focus on her, and tell her... also tell her why you are mentioning this. B/c your gf is an important part of your life and you want to continue this loving relationship with her... explain your ex means nothing more than a friend.

Hope this all works out...

Answer 4

I think if your gf asks then you should tell her the truth but that all your feelings for the other girl are now completely platonic and you just don't see her in that way anymore. Don't tell her if she doesn't ask as then they might not be able to be friends and she'll probably stop you seeing her. Then if she does find out, you just say that you didn't think it was important as it was so long ago now and you two are just friends and would rather forget about what's happened in the past.

Answer 5

No need to get into background with her unless she ask, just make sure you tell her that you guys are best friends and make sure your new gf knows this. Its fine to have a best friend as a girl as long as your gf now knows it and does not get jealous. I always told my bf's that my best friend was a guy and thats all I needed to say. Just make sure your new gf doesn't make you stop talking to your best friend... remember friends are forever. And you can ask your best friend not to get into it with your new gf or you can tell your new gf that you guys have a past but that is in the past and leave it that way, no need for details.

Answer 6

If you tell your new girlfriend about your history she may become suspicious, but if you don't tell her and she finds out then it seems like you're hiding something. This is a tough one.

My suggestion would be to talk to your long-time friend and tell her what your concerns are and ask that she not spill the beans to your new girl. If your new girlfriend at some point asks you about the history between you and your friend, be honest with her. If she doesn't like that you didn't tell her, remind her that it's HER that you're with and you didn't feel it was necessary to bring up the past. Hope this helps!

Answer 7

How old are you guys? If you think your GF is mature enough and secure in your relationship, then tell her. If not, then don't bother telling her. Tell your other female friend that you have decided not to tell your GF the situation and ask her not to as well. Just becareful of those crazy drunken nites when liquor makes people tell the truth.
For me, honesty is the best policy. My fiance and I know EVERYTHING about eachother. The thing is the both of you need to be secure in your relationship!

Answer 8

are you currently doing anything with the friend that would upset the girlfriend. If you guys are purely friends, none of that friends with benefits stuff, then i think it would be ok just to say you are friends. If you start becoming sexual with the new girl however you do owe her a favor to tell her you've had sex/sexual relations with someone else in the past.

Answer 9

Why would your !"£ be in trouble?! My ex-boyfriend (also my first everything) and my fiance are great friends. I think it's great!

You guys are friends, and as long as you stay friends (and nothing more), that is the way it should stay. Oh, maybe you could cut down on the touchy bits and invite your current g/f over when your friend comes by. If they get along, then that's great!

You keeping it a secret, now there is a problem you may want to think about. Why are you keeping it a secret? Anything you want to confess?!

Answer 10

This is tough, since im not you, all i can do is give you my advice...here goes. 1- you said you wanted your current boyfriend to "change" himself. Depending on what you want him to chnage about himself, that might be unfair. To a certain extent you can't ask people to completely change themselves, just like you probably would not want to change your expectations of a mate, or your morals. He might not be the affectionate type. (there are people out there like that) :-) And they usually mesh better with other people that also don't like the lovey dovey mooshy mooshy stuff. 2- the whole dinner thing... kind of a bad idea. How would you feel if your current boyfriend went out with a another girl behind your back, held hands, and kissed her while at the movies...just a guess but you probably wouldn't be very happy. I think even if you do stay with your current boyfriend you really need to sit down and have a mature talk about that night. This could be a test, and it could be a rough one. My rule of thumb, don't do something say something etc that you wouldn't want said or done back to you. 3- The fact that your boyfriend is trying now could be a bad thing if the reason he is doing this is cuz he knows that you went out with your long lost love. if he for sure doesn't know, then this could be a good sign, that probably means that he really wants to try and work this out before someone else swipes you off your feet. This situation is up to you, you really should write down what you like about each of them and really figure it out, before you go on another date with your long lost love, cuz that would be called cheating, and kinda being shady to your boyfriend, again you wouldn't like that if he did it to you.... in the end, whichever way you go, you really need to think about which one you think will really love and care for you, as much as you do them without lowering your standards or expectations.

Answer 11

just be open about the situation. your gf will really appreciate your honesty. if you dont tell her about your friend and she finds out, then your gf will have doubts about your relationship. she will most likely think that you still deeply care for your ex. expecially because you two have been through so much. (and because women are stupid and insecure....but im like that too....)
you need to tell your gf about your past, but reassure her that you and your ex are just friends.
tell your gf how much you love her (or if you havent dropped the L-bomb yet, then how much you care for her)
she should understand, because she has most likely had past relationships that ended on friendly terms as well.
hope i helped! good luck!