We are moving in right next to my parents. Which is not a problem. The problem is my nieces. My brother and his wife go to my parents house quite often and their kids (ages 11, 4, and 1-1/2) stay the weekend alot. I hate to even write this, but, the kids have lice ALOT. And the 4 year old is destructive and always filthy. It's not their fault, I know that, but I don't want them at my house all the time. I also have an 11 year old and twins on the way. I DO NOT want lice in my house or my kid's hair. When you try to talk to them about the lice issue, they get very angry and defensive and say "My kids don't have lice". Um, you can see it in their hair. I have had to treat my daughter's hair countless times. I am sick of it, so now I won't let her be around them. My question is-how can I (without hurting the kid's feelings, it's not their fault) keep them out of my house? I feel just awful for feeling this way, but I am sick of dealing with lice because of them. What can I do?
2007-07-10 02:21:07 · 16 answers · asked by Lotus 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I know the kids will want to come over whenever they are at my parent's house. This is a brand new house, I want it to stay neat and clean. I'm a very clean person, and have had to deal with my daughter catching lice from my nieces enough that I am completely fed up. Help!
2007-07-10 02:23:17 · update #1
Once the twins get here, I plan to use "The babies are sleeping, you can't come in right now" or "I'm trying to get the babies to sleep so you can't come in" or "I just mopped so you can't come over right now" I am so upset about this. I feel like a terrible person!
2007-07-10 02:24:42 · update #2
Would it be possible to encourage outside play instead for the time being? Tie you daughter's hair back and have her wear a hat.
I really don't see this issue resolving itself, perhaps you can get your parents on your side and lay down the law. Either your brother and SIL de-lice their children or they won't be allowed in your house, full stop.
2007-07-10 02:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lyn 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok... you said you have twins on the way, so I dont think you should be treating your child. Maybe your husband can do it or a very close friend. With that aside I think you should find someone to treat the kids over a period of say.. a month or something safe so that they will be rid of the lice. When they come to your house you can have an extra set of clothing for them. Have them immediately get into the shower and get clean and put on the set of clothing you keep for them. Before they leave have them put there old clothes back on. Explain to the children (well the 11 year old) why you are doing this. Then sit down and talk to your brother & his wife. This is not acceptable, and whether they want to hear it or not someone needs to tell them. If you decide to treat the kids hair have them come over while you (or someone else) is treating the hair and show them the lice if they dont believe you that badly... they need to strip their house as well.
If nothing works your going to have to keep the kids away as bad as they may hurt because it isnt there fault.
Good Luck!
2007-07-10 02:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a weird scenario.... Like another person said, Lice love clean hair.... So, you might want to when your kids play together or see one another is to put a bit of mineral oil into their hair. .It won't hurt them and no one is the wiser... Also, if you can when her kids are at your mom- try to treat the other children's head with lice shampoo... At least it would kill the little buggers... You might want to suggest to your mother that she treat the lice situation within her home as well or she can't come over either... Everyone will have lice.. Or go to her house alone and treat her children with the comb and everything and show her how to do it... She may be really overwhelmed and needs help...
2007-07-10 05:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your parents about it? Maybe your mom could talk to your brother about it. If the kids are really in this bad a shape, perhaps they need some intervention to make sure they are safe... No child should have to live in that much filth.
At the same time, are you absolutely sure what you are seeing is lice and not some other sort of skin problem like psoriasis?
Bottom line, I would simply tell your brother (not in front of his kids) that you can't allow his kids in your house when they have lice. It is wrong to expose your own kids to vermin and if these children were in school, the school would send them home until they got treatment. That could happen to your kids if they get lice from their cousins and that would be pretty embarrassing for them...
2007-07-10 02:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with several points:
Time to stop being nice - this is about the care of children and if being polite about it doesn't get attention, there's no reason to continue being polite when children are at stake.
Time to stop being passive - engage your parents. If they take the passive road ("I don't see any lice, don't upset your brother") then fine, forget them. Have the kids over, have your husband treat them for lice and give them fresh clean clothes. Bag up the clothes they came in. When your brother comes to get kids, hand the bag over along with the lice shampoo and just tell him matter-of-factly "I saw the problem and I fixed it" he can get mad or whatever but after that, it's his choice. YOU take steps to protect your family (which includes your nephew and niece) and don't fret over someone who wants to play high moral ground.
If a confrontation comes around, state your case clearly and drop the rest: you are protecting your family and whether or not they like it, they can't fault you for doing the same they SHOULD be doing. Perhaps explain to them that there's no shame in having lice - just about everyone gets it at some point. But there is shame in denying it.
I know you wish there was some way to magically do this the "nice" way but sometimes there is no "nice" way. Some people are just that prideful. Sounds like your brother and his wife are dealing with issues of pride and shame. You don't want to ADD to that, but you can't be subject to it either. You have to watch out for your family too, pride or not.
2007-07-10 18:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have twins on the way and you cannot be treating lice. The shampoo is probably not the best for you to handle. On top of that, it is your house. You don't want to have to deal with the stress of kids with lice and destructive behavior in your home. You need as much rest as possible before the babies are born.
2007-07-10 03:38:16 · answer #6 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, like you said, you can use the 'baby' thing once the twins arrive. Until then you could just keep coming up with excuses, or saying that you're tired/not feeling well due to pregnancy. If it really continues being a problem though, you might have to just politely tell them that you'll have to keep the kids separated because you can't keep treating your children for head lice. Imaging having to treat two babies! Just be honest if you have to, if they take offense that's unfortunate, but they should do something about their kids! Good luck.
2007-07-10 02:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥Mum to Superkids Baby on board♥♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents. If those kids are staying the weekend alone with them, then they can very easily wash them out themselves. I hate to say this, but calling Child Protective Services wouldn't be a bad idea at all. No child should have to grow up lice-ridden.
My head itches just thinking about this.
2007-07-10 02:53:02 · answer #8 · answered by Heidi W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a puppy and I put this treatment (tiny bit of liqued) onto his neck. It covers him for 1 month; fleas, ticks, mites, worms.
Maybe you could try this!
On a more serious note, have an intervention with ALL of the adults involved present.
Let everyone know how terrible the lice are, how hard they are to get rid of because of their egg cycles, how it's itchy, sore and crule to expect their kids to be in this condition.
Tell the parents that unless they get rid of the issue you will have no choice but to
a) not allow contact between tjem and you (indirectly too so that means your kids and you wont be going to your mum and dads)
and
b) Go to the child welfare department.
Only use the threats if you realllly are clutching at straws.
As for the kids, you're rightit's not their fault... :(
2007-07-10 02:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by CafeLate 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lice love clean hair. You could try to not let your kids wash their hair as much. But if it was me, I'd just buy them some lice shampoo & hand it to them. Explain the problem to them, they might not be so defensive if you hand them the shampoo while you are explaining the situation.
2007-07-10 02:26:33 · answer #10 · answered by jaytei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋