i am 42 and he is 51 and we have been dating for 9 months. he wants to THINK about us living together when we have been dating at least 2 years. we both have children who get on well together, so that is not a problem. because we live far away from each other we only see each other once a week, the rest of the week i feel alone and like a single person and i dont want to be. any thoughts??
2007-07-10 02:15:41 · 22 answers · asked by teddi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am 42 and he is 51 and we have been dating for 9 months. he wants to THINK about us living together when we have been dating at least 2 years. we both have children who get on well together, so that is not a problem. because we live far away from each other we only see each other once a week, the rest of the week i feel alone and like a single person and i dont want to be, i was single for many years and am now really for a serious relationship but he is not. we have had many discussions about it, but he has made his mind up. i have my own business which is london wide and doing well, i have female friends that i am going to spain with in august and life is great other than this.....any thoughts??
2007-07-10 02:55:22 · update #1
you will know when its right, best of luck to both of you
2007-07-10 02:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by borgpicard 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not the question of moving in together that is the biggest problem is it? I have been there and it is who sells their property and virtually renders themselves "homeless" while the other partner is still living in their own property. You have to be absolutely sure of what is going to happen and how it will work before one of you gives up their "freedom" for it to work. Having children still at home, who presumably go to school, would be an added complication as travelling to school a long way, or changing schools would be involved. Quite honestly, I think it best to wait until children have left school before making any major changes - unless they were like under 7 years old. Are you willing to give up your home, maybe change jobs, move your children and probably pare down your belongings in order to fit them in to your lovers house? Or even move nearer to him so that you can see each other more? Yes it is life changing stuff. It didn't work for me and a lot of damage and hurt was caused by it. I would say to you, stay where you are girl and do not force any move on your partner either. Not yet. Believe me.
2007-07-10 02:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by Normsgirll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on holiday together - both families. Hire a holiday cottage for at least two weeks. While you're there don't eat out all the time, cook and do domestic things together. If all goes well he might be more receptive to the idea of moving in together, but don't pressurize him.
2007-07-11 01:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by * Xanthippe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, my thought is dont' depend on someone else to make you feel whole and happy... our happiness comes from within, not because of someone else.. although it's nice to have someone in our lives, and it's comforting we really need to be happy with ourselves, first.
and when we are a "couple" we sometimes have to make concessions and compromise. perhaps the topic of living together is something you can discuss with your guy friend next time you see him?
you know, you would be doing yourself a great disservice if you pushed this guy into moving in together when he isn't ready. he may be miserable and feel as if he is being pressured. i say this because my boyfriend pressured me quite a bit about things like living together, and it really cause me a great deal of distress... because i felt that he wasn't letting me do things on MY own time. i felt excessively rushed.
it's true, sometimes one person is "ready" before the other might be.
seeing each other once a week is probably difficult sometimes, however, spend your time doing things you enjoy -- go to lunch or shopping with a friend, take up a class or enjoy your hobbies... go to the gym, swimming or whatever it is you want to do. fill in your spare time with activities. do things with your kids.
i hope that you and your boyfriend get together eventually, and that things work out in your lives... take care.
2007-07-10 02:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a extensive sacrifice for him with the help of shifting to an fullyyt different state and he can no longer make the sacrifice of having household initiatives? it incredibly is incredibly no longer a sacrifice, it incredibly is incredibly a earnings residing out on your person. particular, there are the charges, yet nevertheless, you have freedom and what person at 28 does not elect that? i'd provide him a pair of weeks (no extra beneficial than a month) to make up his ideas, or you're packing your bags and hitting the line, or in case you could no longer circulate back, then kick him out of your existence. the sole way i'd settle for it incredibly is that if he became at school and doubtless attempting to further his occupation or advance one. yet i think of that could have been suggested formerly you moved available, so i'm particular it isn't the subject. do no longer waste your existence waiting on somebody to advance up, discover somebody who's already grown up. stable success.
2016-09-29 10:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 months of dating and only seeing each other once a week, dang. I can see why you want to move in together, but just remember that sweet relationship has a chance to turn sour if you are only seeing each other once a week. Once a week, everyone is on their best behavior, and you can say all those sweet nothings to each other. But once you move in, its them all the time, cleaning behind him, and cooking double the meal. Now if this is something you enjoy doing than go for it, but if you are focus on your career and cant give a 100% to the relationship than thats not fair for either one of you.
2007-07-10 02:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by MsTruthful 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you can trust him and you feel that the relationship is ready to move on, then go for it....
Its a big step and if it involves children too, then you need to make sure its the real thing...
I dont think you can really know what he is like only spending 1 night a week with him, i think i would want to spend a bit more time with him some how before making a further commitment.
2007-07-10 02:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
discuss it with him.....if u want to live together whether after 2 weeks or 2 yrs or in ure case 9 months then go for it....theres no right and wrong answers just long as ure happy babes x
2007-07-10 02:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no definitive answer to this. Every couple is different, every couple has different things to take into consideration. You've made up your mind that you're ready now, but he needs more time. Seems fair to me. Don't try to rush things, it smacks of desperation. Enjoy your life now, with friends, and see what happens.
2007-07-10 02:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by jet-set 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people move intogether as soon as they meet in some cases, every couples different. only way to answer that is as soon as ur both comfortable with the idea of it and u both want it. there should be no time limit but it shouldnt b rushed either
2007-07-10 02:20:04 · answer #10 · answered by ophelia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No time limits on dating at your age.
Why does he need to think and date you for 2 years
Put him on the spot and get a definite answer or else move on.
2007-07-10 02:21:42 · answer #11 · answered by **tomtom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋