Older sister helped me out with lending me money 2 years ago, with the terms of I will pay you when I have it. We just recently got into the older sister / younger brother power struggle, when I put my foot down, and told her she is responsible for herself, and I am responsible for myself (Boundaries). Obviously when you put up a boundary to someone who is aggressive controlling, she felt the only card she could play was to demand payment of the money she loaned me. So my question is, what is the correct response back to her when she is emailing me "When am I getting my money??????", when I feel like she is doing this more to make herself feel better, that I lent you money, you owe me now buddy.
2007-07-10 02:12:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
over the years, i have paid off 30% of it. I also have been going to school these last two years.
2007-07-10 02:23:37 · update #1
That's too bad and I'm sure it can be awfully stressful for you. I would say pay her back...a little at a time. Even if it's $5 a week or a month...really...at least you're showing effort. Depending on how your sister is, she can make this whole thing look really ugly by spreading some nasty rumors about you. If you want her to back off, start making the effort to pay her back.
My boyfriend is in a similar situation and his older sister is getting quite nasty but in a behind-his-back way. He borrowed the money a few months ago and she is pretty well off...and although my boyfriend is barely making ends meet, she is constantly in his face about the money and wants to be credited for being the "hero".
2007-07-10 02:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree yous are responsible for your selves but that also includes you paying what you owe. If you can afford to just hand her over the $ then do it ... even if it's gonna run you short. It will stop her being able to hold it over your head besides $ matters cause too many fights in a family ! If you can't afford to pay her all at once come up with a payment plan and have her ok it , so you both agree ( if you can afford it here and there well just give her a little extra) .If she dont' agree to it then there's not much you can do but keep the payments up that you said you would ... she figure out that your sincere and she'll be ok with it . Don't make her feel like she's in the wrong for asking for her money back ,,, let her know that you love her and that you have every intention on paying the money back. Make sure you stick too your end of the bargain !!! Good Luck
2007-07-10 02:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a person borrows money, it's nice to have some integrity and to remember to pay it back when they have some extra cash, OR let the person know they can't afford repayment (at least once a month)
lending and borrowing money is a big deal, and it's always good to keep your word.
you haven't any real right to put up some "boundary" when it comes to paying her back.. ... it's more like you've put up a wall which she can't get through?
take care and pay her back!! even if it's only $5 or $10 a month.
2007-07-10 02:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is nothing to do with her being aggressive or some alleged power struggle, this is about you putting off paying her back. you need to be responsible for yourself. why don't you set up a payment plan on a monthly basis. start paying her back a little at a time. get it all in writing.
2007-07-10 02:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Power struggle or not, you owe her the money. Don't let money interfere in a family relationship. Work out a monthly payment plan, tell her what it is, and stick to it. She may not get all of her money at once, but she'll be getting some of it monthly.
2007-07-10 02:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly your sister is a brat who expects money. I live with my nan yet last year when I got ema i wouldn't ask.her for money unless it was an emergency. So to me it seems like your sister is spoilt.
2016-05-22 05:42:18 · answer #6 · answered by jaye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just trying to live up to what you said about you being responsible for yourself. So live up to that responsibility by paying your debt to your sister no matter what or how you think she may be and no matter how you feel about her trying to collect.
"When am I getting my money???" By all means answer her as a responsible person should. Suggest a plan of paying her back and if she does not agree, try to make compromises; if she agrees, live up to it.
2007-07-10 03:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by wind m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her 20 a week.she cant say you arent paying and shell leave yu alone.
2007-07-10 02:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIVE HER THE MONEY! I know that is not what you wanted to hear. However, she wants her moeny so she can move on.
2007-07-10 02:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋