can i stop my bf from drinking himself to death?

Question

i met someone recenlty and they seem to spend their entire spare time and wages in the pub he is a nice man but i dnt want to spent every minute in the pub wht can i do?

Answer 1

Dear j e there is absolutely nothing you can do, if in fact your boyfriend is an alcoholic. Aside from talking to him and giving him an ultimatum, the decision to change his behavior will have to be his before it is successful. Alcoholics suffer from an insidious disease which is difficult to treat and, even after treatment, the rate of recidivism is extremely high. You need to evaluate your role in his illness. Are you being an enabler? Are you willing to take the risk that his behavior will not change and will start to negatively effect your life? Stop and think what your future holds for you unless he make a dramatic attempt to escape the grip of alcoholism. best wishes

Answer 2

You will never ever change a person, if you have identified his drinking now, believe me I dont care how "nice" he is, the bottle will always be his first priority, would you want to entrust your kids, in his care while he has just had a "few"? Wake up, and find yourself a good decent man, I got sucked into that same scenerio, because I am a caretaker, I think oh, they are so nice, if they just had a decent woman at home they would stay home and drink....big mistake, the man beat me left me for dead because I tried to keep him from his friends.....run forrest runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Answer 3

Walk away as quickly as possible. While some alcoholics may seem to have a sunny disposition and be friendly and outgoing, there is really no future with one. Ever changing moods, the need to drink and the lies will eventually get to you. If this doesn't scare you away from a potentially harmful relationship, maybe you should figure out why you need this particular person in your life. AND he needs to face why he needs to be constantly intoxicated. You can't stop him from drinking only he can stop his drinking.

Answer 4

Although your motive admirable, the answer to your question is No. If the individual does not see his drinking as a problem, then he will not be motivated to seek or participate in treatment. Often the individual has to hit rock bottom before they can see the effects their drinking has on themselves and others.

You might consider an organization like Al-Anon, if they have it in Great Britian.

Jeff McIntosh

Answer 5

Voice your concerns to him, but then move on. You can't make someone change if they don't want to themselves.

Many a person has wasted a LOT of years trying to be "supportive", "understanding" , "patient"....only to have their heart broken again and again.

By letting him know that you care about him and his health, you can also state that you can't waste YOUR life along with his.

Answer 6

you cant do anything someone can not control anothers behavior, i am a recovering alcoholic and i didn''''t stop until i wanted to not because of anyone one else i had to stop for me, so if he isnt ready ,all your talk in the world wont change him he has to change him

Answer 7

Try to plan activities away from the bar scene, if he wont then maybe he's not for you, and you should cut the cord.

Answer 8

Get out now before he sucks you down into that black bottomless pit into which he is sinking. Alcoholics are not alcoholics until they recognize it for themselves.

Answer 9

Talk to him, see what he says. You're not going to be able to change him, but if he knows it bothers you, he may be willing to compromise.

Answer 10

No one except the drinker can stop drinking.