Well my mother died of a major heart attack last month! anyway that night i was at a party and when i got back there was no one home this is normal in my household so i didnt think anything of it i proceeded by playing on my computer when i got a phone call from sister and she said i dont know how to tell you this but mom is dead... i thought she was joking till my other sister that was balling her eyes out told me my first reaction was nothing! i didnt cry i didnt feel sad i didnt feel happy either i arrived at the hospital and there was family all around and they were all crying i was the only one not crying i didnt even feel sad.. i eventually cryed but it wasnt for losing my mom it was for not feeling sad about losing her! I guess one of my reasons could be that growing up she was a great mom but had an alchahol problem she drink everyday when she was sober she was a great mom and i loved her but when she was drunk i hated her! should i feel like it doesnt matter that shes gone?
2007-07-09 20:59:47 · 13 answers · asked by Peter West 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My personality about life is weird to.. i dont have a religion and i dont believe there is a god but i dont believe there isnt one either if there is thats great if there isnt it doesnt matter! people live and people die its the circle of life!
2007-07-09 21:01:43 · update #1
It could be that you're ambivalent about your emotions and your mind hasn't figured out yet how to react. It happens quite frequently.
My dad died last month after a prolonged illness, and I don't feel sad about losing him either - and for a similar reason; he was abusive to me growing up. I don't know, maybe after some more time passes my feelings will change and I'll grieve his death, but for now I don't feel anything and although that bothered me at first, you can't MAKE yourself feel something and it wouldn't be fair to yourself to fake it just for appearance sake.
Like Shakespeare said, "This, above all, to thine own self be true."
2007-07-09 21:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by mrscjr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could feel sad that she is gone.. I am also uneffected by death! I mean it happens to everyone! Everyone dies.. that doesnt make it the end of your life ya know! So for you not being sad... Dont worry about it you know! Its not that you dont care about your mom im sure! There is no point in getting all sad about death! Its nothing new and happens to everyone! So Ide say its normal for a family member to die and have no effect. Maybe soon you will start to miss her! If not then live your life and have a good time doing it! No reason in being sad about something you had no control of
2007-07-09 21:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by LPPX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has to be horrible, now is the home in your fathers name or is it in you and your husbands and your name. The tension can only build till it get ready to explode, so if your name is on the deed they need to move out , and if its the other way you need to move out and find a condo or whatever. The woman struggles to share a kitchen and the livingroom again uncomfortable. You really seem to have a level head and a heart for your mother still, and so do I miss my mom too. Once you are not living in the same home, maybe a mutual respect for each might occur and your relationship could blossom.
2016-05-22 03:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually think your response was pretty much right on. It made sense to me. I think that for you, the particular way you handled it regarding the circumstances you explained, makes perfect sense. I think it will all work out for you eventually and the feelings will sort themselves out.
On-the-other-hand, the "circle-of-life" is biological. The spiritual side of it is very linear! There is a God and He will hold you accountable for your actions. That accountability is accompanied by more love than you can ever imagine, though! Check this out: www.NeedGod.com
All my best!
2007-07-09 21:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by swedishsamurai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deals with grief differently. Not all people react sad and mopey but some rather change something in their lifestyle. You have your own way with dealing with this loss and u shouldnt feel bad that you dont act like everyone else. Just go on with living. You will find the outlet when need be.
2007-07-09 21:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether she had alcohol problems or not, you should have still loved her. Also, you may not realize it, but NO ONE in life will EVER love you as much as your Mom! It almost sounds as if you are one of those type of people who can't "feel" Anything and believe me...that is NOT a good thing. Go to counseling!
2007-07-09 21:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by Dianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ok, what ur feeling is normal for some people, it will hit you, your brain is holding it back from u for now, sooner or later it will hit, and u can deal with it then. don't be mad that ur not sad or crying. its a big thing, sometimes our brains know we can't handle it at this time so we do what we have to unknowingly to help our self's. maybe right now u need to help ur loved ones and help ur self later. its ok, don't worry about it, ur grief will come, you loved her don't think her drinking problem has anything to do with it. things happen to people. some people are better at dealing with things inside to. so what if u don't cry, maybe u will just feel hurt later.
2007-07-09 21:07:26 · answer #7 · answered by Julie Ann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its ok! don't feel bad about the way you feel. society puts pressure on you to feel a certain way about things, but you can't help the way you feel about things. you might just be in a state of shock still. when my grandmother passed away i didn't cry either, however when i visited her home and realized she wasn't there anymore i broke down because it finally hit me. before i just couldn't believe that it was really the truth. it may take you some time to cope with things.
im extremely sorry for your loss and hope things get better for you.
2007-07-09 21:06:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're just in shock. The same thing happened to me when my mother died. We had a lot of issues, although she wasn't an alcoholic. Give it a few weeks, be patient with yourself and then you will miss the person she was when she wasn't drinking. And then you will start to grieve. And yes, you're normal.
2007-07-09 21:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry for your loss! you don't feel sad yet because you are in shock. this is the first stage of grieving. eventually you will come to terms with your mothers' death, and you will mourn for her. this is totally normal.
condolences.
2007-07-09 21:03:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋