George Carlin's View on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to
get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never
thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You
jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but
hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .
You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME
21.
YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you
sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's
no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's
changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa!
Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you
REACH 50
And your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to
60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's
a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete
cycle; you
HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end
there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you
become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight
and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay
"them!"
2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is
the devil's workshop." And the devil's
name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for
breath.
2007-07-09 17:03:09 · 8 answers · asked by I speak Truth 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thanks bigirv, but donn't ya think we have enough religions in the world?
2007-07-11 21:20:45 · update #1
Sorry Joy Bird but there is no intelligent answer that I can come up with for that one! So you must be asking the wrong person I'm at a loss.
2007-07-13 15:35:29 · update #2
Thanks , great joke. I'm surviving my 50's. I might just make it through to my 60's but that is pushing it. lol..
2007-07-15 09:43:38 · answer #1 · answered by George 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol. George Carlin's the greatest.
2007-07-10 00:09:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darlin, you are a bright moment in an old mans' day. I'm thinking about starting a new religion and calling it "Carlinism." What do you think?
2007-07-10 00:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never ever wanted to even think about at all
and I wish I were still 11 years old
I just hate it getting older and older and I know death
is waiting for me
2007-07-10 00:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for the laugh. Now can you tell me how to make a sourpuss that's my grown daughter into a nice person, instead of such a GROUCH!? I've done all I can for her, but she won't do anything for herself or her three children but sleep and yell! Help!
2007-07-13 14:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooh. That put a smile on my face...
2007-07-10 00:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by Da Mick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks, it did !!!
2007-07-10 00:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol. thanks for the laugh.
2007-07-10 00:06:24 · answer #8 · answered by Sam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋