Micro-Whine / Mini-Rant at no one in particular (okay, maybe the Fates)?

Question

Those of you who have been answering my questions tonight have been so generous, and I thank you for it.

I'm hearing that I should live for my son's memory. And it certainly has a lot of weight for me.

But here's the thing...

When I was ten my father died.

I've spent my whole life immersing myself in idealism and the best wisdom I could find to live up to -his- memory ...

... and to make up for all the wisdom I never had the chance to learn from him ...

... so that when I had children, I'd have the best I could give to give to them ...

... and now I have to live up to be my best for my son's memory, as well as my dad's.

I feel like George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life. I've tried so hard, struggled so hard, and everything that mattered to me is gone.

After losing all I had, I'm to start over at 50?

Is it any wonder there are days when I do -not- want to get out of bed?

Answer 1

Then in memory of your dad and your son's memory, why not do something that will make a big difference---live to make the lives of others better. It could be anything that would be fulfilling to you and helpful to others. George Bailey may have had a moment of weakness and self-pity, but he lived his whole life for others--and then when he needed help, all those he'd helped were there for him. Like the saying goes, "Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap."

Answer 2

First off you start over each day, every new day offers a new set of challenges and rewards. Living your life in someones memory is tough, and when you times it by two makes it worse. I feel you should live your own life and occasionly pull out your fathers and sons memory at special times, you will know when they come up. From my expierence from the important people that passed in my life time, I have learned to used their words or actions to keep their memory alive. But, the rest of the time I'm your typical S.O.B. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

confident I do. Why in the international do agencies could desire to do a hearth Drill? I propose particularly now come on. If a development is on hearth and you (not you however the guy) would not be conscious of to get out of the development then the fool merits to die. Survival of the fittest. organic determination. i don't want those MORONS reproducing. I see hearth I pass away the area of that hearth and pass someplace i be conscious of the hearth won't be able to stick to me. i don't could desire to prepare this each and every few months to have it down. its a organic F***ING instinct. If a canines is growling snarling and snapping at you do you walk over to the canines to puppy it? NO!!!!! If there's a twister coming at you do you run to it or stay the place you're and desire it passes by using you? NO!!!!. so why in the international can we could desire to continuously make differences for the IDIOTS who see a development on hearth and pass "dne de dne, i'm gonna stand right here and desire the hearth would not get me" MORONS!!!!! thank you very plenty i in my view had to get that out =)

Answer 4

I have been gone much of tonight, and have not responded to your other questions.

From what I have read in this post, it seems you are living for the wrong person and or things. Memories are wonderful and can be very soothing to a tired soal.

But, we are to live for God, after all we were put here for one purpose and that was to glorify God, not ourselves , nor any other human being.

As children, we want to mimic and be exactly like our earthly parents. As adults, we should still want to mimic and be exactly like our creator. It is what we should strive for, and Jesus Christ spent very little time lamentling his fate, although he did lament it a bit, so its perfectly find to mourn and complain a bit, but after that bit, know not my will , but Gods be done.

Hopefully this helps a bit, I know it helps me, and had helped me in the past to deal with some very sorrowful issues.
Also, look to books written by Cory Tenbloom, they are awesome when dealing with self sorrow and pity issues.

Answer 5

Yep. It is no wonder that you don't have motivation to get up.

Well you can go with the philosophy you have here... to live for your son's life he doesn't have to live anymore, and live for your fathers memory...

You know I live for Christ and so far I haven't had any major losses really close to me, except my Dad's parents but they were both very sick for the last part of their life... I hope I would still be able to live for Jesus...

I am glad you are able to persevere and move on with your life... God Bless

Answer 6

I cannot even begin to understand what you are going through right now. Since you used the example of "Its a Wonderful Life" here goes nothing:

"Remember no man is a failure who has friends."

Answer 7

Sounds like you are trying to live your life for offsprings. Why not live your life for YOURSELF. Who cares if you die with all your knowledge not passed down? Besides >_> you won't be alive then. You should live life because you DO live. No need to start over, just continue. If you do want to live life for someone other than yourself, pass down your knowledge to other people, like neighbors, wife, and other relatives.

Answer 8

It means alot to me that you get out of bed every day and share your thoughts with us. I would not enjoy this site as much without you.

Thank you

Answer 9

I can't imagine the loss you must feel.
Although it doesn't mean much, let me say that I'm so sorry for all that you've been through.
One positive note is that you've known their love, and that is something that can't ever be taken away.

Answer 10

Be the best person you can be--not for someone else--because you are an idealist--and nothing but the best would suit your philosophy--live your Faith--The rest will fall into place. If you can do that--you will please yourself--and your legacy will be established for your son and your father
May God bless your decision