Would my relationship with a future guy be ruined if I said I never wanted to lose my virginity? I watched "it" before and it was nothing I was interested in or longed for.
2007-07-09 13:37:20 · 36 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Keep it!!!!
Don't Lose it!
2007-07-09 13:42:08 · answer #1 · answered by lialove_18 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Interesting question. As you'd expect, in reply to your question most girls simply wrote "if he's not willing to be with you if you're not willing to sleep with him, then he's not worth it, so move on". However, surely this is a little one sided. I think the crucial word in your question is 'never'. If you were merely saying that you feel having sex with this man is too early in the relationship, or that you just want to wait until it feels right, then I certainly think a decent and moral man should understand your feelings and wait. As a guy I wouldn't have a problem with doing this, as long as she was affectionate in the meantime, and she conveyed that one day she would hope to become physical with me. However, you use the word 'never' which suggests that sex will not happen at any point during the relationship, however close you become or strongly you feel about this man. Surely, the guy would be fully entitled to view this as a problem, without you thinking that if he loved you enough he shouldn't let this get in the way. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and should not be seen as something that is only important to a shallow, sex obsessed guy, who's incapable of looking beyond his pyhsical desires. Sex is one of the main factors that deciphers between a friendship relationship and a couple relationship. It is an act where two people who care about each other can be incredibly intense together, and where one person can pleasure their loved one in a way that no one else should be able to do. So surely, any guy would be entitled to feel he is losing out on a large part of a relationship if you never wanted to have sex with him. He should not be frowned upon for feeling this way. Of course, if he feels that sex is an essential part of a loving relationship and you feel strongly that you'll never want to sleep with him, then there is no problem going your seperate ways and breaking up. But firstly, it shouldn't be viewed that he doesn't truly love you, he just places more emphasis on sex than you do. And secondly, I think it's a bad idea to base you life on watching "it"!! Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide is right for you.
2007-07-12 01:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship with a guy was ruined because you said you didn't want to lose your virginity, the relationship wasn't worth being in in the first place. The guy your with should want to be with you whether sex is involved or not. If the relationship is ruined, obviously all he wanted out of it was sex. Tell him that you don't want to lose your virginity. He should respect you and your wishes.
2007-07-09 13:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you mean until marriage and he doesnt wanna wait then hes not worth it.
If you mean never at all whatsoever then youll have to compromise. If he doesnt get it from you, he'll have to settle with whacking off and seeing some nasty stuff every now and then. And even from there, theres no promising that he wont cheat.
Therefore the person who wont want it is somebody who is incapable of having sexual intercourse and then there will be your solution. That is assuming you dont become like some women who want it in their thirties in which it could become a problem for your bf.
However youre probably afraid of having sex so thats why you probably dont want it or maybe you dont want it yet. Just take your time and wait til your older and then youll know.
2007-07-09 14:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably would be ruined if you used the word "never". Hopefully someday you will find a man that treats you like a queen and it will happen naturally. But if you are to let a fellow know that your saving yourself for marriage you certainly would not or should not lose anyone for this. As a matter of fact a lot of guys would appreciate your honesty and respect you for holding dear these morals and values.
2007-07-09 13:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If by "never", you meant not at all in your life, then it might be a small problem. But if you meant before you were married, it's good that you thought that way. Any boy that wouldn't date you because of that isn't worth the trouble anyway.
But if you meant not at all, your thoughts on it could change once you were older and married, if that's what you wanted. The kind of guy you're probably looking for would be interested in much more than just that.
2007-07-09 13:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a very religious guy. If you said that you want to wait until marrige I would be cool. But never want to lose your virginity........I would have to think rather hard myself even though I might not have gotten any in the first place and would have been fine with it.
2007-07-09 13:44:35 · answer #7 · answered by Remus L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship will definitely be affected by your decision of holding on to your virginity. It will either make it or break it. Either way you will definitely know who is the right man for you. Those that chose to walk away, let them -- they are not worth holding on to. Once they come to their census, they may come back later but until then stand your ground and be proud that you are different from the "norm". When the time is right; everything will fall into place. Good luck to you!!!
2007-07-09 19:04:14 · answer #8 · answered by Kitten 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eventually a guy will want to have sex with you. And if you just say that you never want to have sex, then it will most likely ruin it. If he stays with you, then he'll probably end up cheating on you. If you really love him and feel like you are ready for that kind of commitment, then just try it. Watching something and doing it are 2 completely different things.
2007-07-09 13:42:22 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, waiting for marriage is the best thing you can do. God intended sex for marriage, and it is a very wonderful gift when inside the bonds of marriage. You may not long for it right now, and thats ok! It just means your not ready. My best advice is wait for a guy that you truly love, marry him, and THEN share that scared bond with him. It will mean much more.
PS!!!! If a guy EVER dumps you because you will not have sex with him, he wasnt worth it, you two dont hold the same values, and he wasnt intrested in the REAL you after all. Good luck girl!!!!
2007-07-09 13:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anna B 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you dont want to lose your virginity. DONT! thats why its yours. How old are you? Eventually you will want to though. Just remember that. It may be on your wedding night. There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin, even though society will tell you something different.
2007-07-09 13:41:43 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs. 26 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋