How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Is About More Than Just Sex?

Question

I'm scared my boyfriend is only about sex. Its young in the relationship, and I want to know if his motives are true. What are some signals that he only wants me for sex, and then nothing else. We haven't had sex yet, but its a possibility in the near future. I don't want to continue if I'm going to be used, so guys and girls, how do you know?

Yes he does show interest in my other than making out, and physical things.

Answer 1

If its young in the relationship still then you really should be having sex yet. Especially if you have to ask these questions.

Ask him things like how important sex is to him.
Ask him for reasons why he is with you, don't be afraid to put him on the spot. If he is interested in more than sex he will have no problem giving you reasons why he is interested in keeping a relationship.
Tell him you worry about being used.

The most important thing in a relationship is being open and sharing your thoughts and ideas, another important thing is trust. If you don't trust his answers, and don't trust him, then you should not be having sex.

Wait for someone who will love you for who you are, not what you will do in bed. Sex should be a way of showing someone you love them.

Its like that one saying "If you have to ask if you should do it then you have no business doing it."

Answer 2

If you really want to know try this tell him that you don't plan on having sex until you get married. Then he will either respect you and stick around or say see you later cause he was no good from the get go. Also stay clear of alone time in places that could lead there. Also does he take you out with his friends? Make dates for places like dinner, plays, but not at home. Stay out your room and his especially if no ones there. But I have a lot of respect for you keep your head on and if he does say he will leave let him go he was not worth it anyways . Seek a man who is after your heart who will love you as God loves the church faithful, patient, forgiving and loves unconditional. You are a precious jewel don't give it away to just anyone cause once you do you will wish you did not. It is suppose to be a joining of one and thats why women become so emotionally attached to guys. Thats the way God made it so good luck . Remember God is love so love you first.

Answer 3

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

These verses are true when it comes to being in a relationship that requires love. What I want you to do is take notice to the first quality of love..."LOVE IS PATIENT." If he loves you, truly, then he will be able to wait for as long as it takes for intimacy to happen in your relationship. To be honest, I would wait until marriage to go down that road. Sex is something that takes people down the wrong path sometimes. However, if you read the Bible (Especially Song of Songs) you will see the beauty and approval that God gives towards sex when it is within a marriage. Please take into consideration what I have said here. Don't share what is so beautiful with someone who may not turn out to be the man you marry. Any married person will tell you that they wish the person that they are with was their first. I know that I wish I was my wife's first and she was mine, but we messed that up. Please read Song of Songs. Know that this is a mna and his wife in these passages taling back and forth to each other. Let me know what you think about it. There are a few chapters, so make sure you get to them all. There should be a link at the bottom of each page to get to the next chapter.

Just remember that waiting is the best thing to do. This way, you will know you did the right thing....and if he truly loves you, he will be there with you on your honeymoon sharing your first experience together,

Answer 4

Does he want to do other things with you than just physical things or is he only about making out and is he pushing you to have sex with him? If he is pushing and only about making out then that throws some big red flags. Is he willing to do things just to be around you or with you? Does he listen when you talk? If there are any doubts in your mind don't have sex with him and give it more time.

If he is giving you the line that sex will bring you closer together, etc. Then I would be really leery of that relationship!

Answer 5

For starters don't give him any sex. It will end up being bad for both of you in an emotional way. If he seems to change and he doesn't seem to be talking as much as he used to about non sexual things. If he seems to be talking non stop about everything physical about you and him or about you in general, then you need to slow down. If you feel really uncomfortable about it, don't give him the time or day for sex. Good luck figuring all this out.

Answer 6

Tell him you don't want to have sex until you have been in the relationship for a while (even if you do and don't give a definite date) and see what happens. If he bails, you have just dodged a bullet. Of course, don't string him along or he will possibly get bored and leave anyway.

Answer 7

If sex is the only thing that cements your relationship, if all he wants to do is have sex with you everytime he sees you, and/or if he prefers to have sex with you than do anything else, then sorry honey, that relationship is going to be nothing but sex. Notice the signs early and don't be afraid to put and end to it.

Answer 8

Well one good sign is if whenever you see him all he wants is to have sex. But if your'e doing other activities together, like going to the beach, movies, hanging out, then he likes you. If he calls you, gives you attention, compliments you, looks deeply into your eyes, you know, all that lovey dovey stuff, then I'd think he liked you for you.
But if your relationship rests solely on sex then that's a sure sign.

Answer 9

Is he there for you. Is all he requests from you is your body, and then leaves after taking care of his desires. Can you truly connect with him when discussing things. Do you feel the warmth of love when making love with him. There is sex and making love.....sex is impersonal and a carnal desire without caring for the other person...making love is the opposite. If it isn't the latter, then the relationship may actually not be one.

Answer 10

don't have sex with him. tell him you aren't ready.

i waited a year and a half with my boyfriend. that may seem a bit long to some people (and too short to others) but it really made us focus on the other aspects of the relationship.

if you just come out and tell him that you're not going to have sex with him for a while, then it takes away that "is she going to sleep with me?" mystery.