I am a bridesmaid at my friends wedding. She gave me an invitation but never mentioned that I could bring my boyfriend. We have been dating eachother for about 5 months and are pretty serious about each other. I don't want to offend her though, or demonstrate improper etiquette.
I assumed that bringing a date was expected and asked my boyfriend before I got the invitation.... I just got the invitation and it says my name only (but she has never met him because her and I live in different cities now).... I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position by asking her if I can bring a date, and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend not to come.
I explained to my boyfriend that I would be busy the entire wedding, and that I would be there for the bride. He said he could easily make friends and would just hang out with me later on in the evening, when they are off doing their own thing, visiting everyone, etc.
I need help here, what should I do!?
2007-07-09 12:01:47 · 13 answers · asked by Betty 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Wow, you really are in a spot!
She should have realized that her bridesmaids might want to bring someone with them. That being said, you did mess up by assuming something here.
Now the only way to fix it is to be honest and admit your part of the problem. I have found that people respond well when you take full responsibility for the mistake. (even if it was not all your fault!)Ask her to forgive you and ask if the bf can come.
You could make up for the mistake by making sure that the wedding gift would pay for the cost of two (instead of one) dinner. Although you won't actually tell her that...
If she says no, there will be a good reason. Probably because of cost or numbers of people. (trying to balance the list between his and her family) or perhaps none of the maids or ushers are bringing dates. Be gracious if she says no, and bring the bad news to the bf. Yet again you will have to confess and take the egg on your face.
Sorry...it is the only way out of this!
Grit your teeth and confess!!
2007-07-09 12:12:20 · answer #1 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's taboo to bring another guest if you are the only one invited. The food for the party is already planned for a fixed number of guests. Bringing him would be awkward because there's no food for him and it's rude to bring an uninvited guest.
Your boyfriend is too clingy. Tell him it's not good etiquette for him to attend a wedding party he's not invited to. I have a bad feeling he's using this wedding to source out more girls for himself. Why would a man enjoy attending a party where he doesn't know the host or other guests and feel comfortable not being by your side the whole time? It's weird.
The way to tell him is that he's NOT invited. If he can't respect that, he is not a person to be respected either.
2007-07-09 15:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your bride friend if you can bring your boyfriend. Say that if you are permitted to bring a guest, you'd like to bring your boyfriend. However, you'll understand if she says no, being that often a bride and groom can only invite so many people.
Go by whatever she says.
Could you imagine if she finds out after the wedding that you wanted to bring your boyfriend and that would have been okay with her, except you didn't ask?
2007-07-09 12:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask the bride if you can bring your boyfriend. It's rude to show up with an extra guest. Since you & the bride live in different cities, she may not be aware of the depth of your relationship or that your bf is willing to travel with you. Weddings are expensive, she may have just been trying to pare down the guest list.
If you don't want to ask the bride, you need to just tell him that you were completely shocked that she didn't ask you to bring a guest. Be honest about it with him.
2007-07-09 12:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by Tammy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call though.
I would say if you do bring him, would she have an extra plate?
Would you introduce him to the bride and bridegroom which could prove awkward?
Are other bridesmaids bringing their bfs or husbands?
Or are you just the only one singled out not to bring one?
I would really analyze this.
For my friend's wedding I was just invited, and I didn't bring my bf along as he wasn't on the invite.
2007-07-09 12:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Proper etiquette says that if it was just your name on the invite and no "and guest", a date is not invited.
However, this may be an oversight. Since you are obviously close to the bride, just call and ask her.
2007-07-09 12:18:29 · answer #6 · answered by duck duck goose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would reply with 2 rsvp's. You shouldnt feel bad. This is the brides goof. When you send out the invites...it should read and guest.... to all of the singles. does she not like your boyfriend? I would ask her about her invite...maybe she made this oversite on other peoples invites as well.
2007-07-09 12:29:16 · answer #7 · answered by mpasnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with your boyfriend attending the wedding with you. When you speak to your friend by phone, tell her you can't wait for her to meet your new boyfriend. See what she says. Don't tell your b/f he can go to the wedding with you. He's already planning on it. It may cause some problems if you told him he had to stay behind. Your g/f should understand why you want to bring him along.
2007-07-09 12:16:28 · answer #8 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to take your mate.
I have never heard of such a thing.
Call her and tell her, of course I'll be bringing my BF.
2007-07-09 12:24:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough situation! def call her up and say im real excited i want to help blah blah blah and mention ur bf an how he is helping u go shopping or something..maybe she forgot @ ur bf or something. if she dosent mentnion it be like is it okay if i bring him...if its tough for u please be honest and i wont....shell say yes. and besides, maybe she just forgot good luck!!!
2007-07-09 12:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by mitlilkizbi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋