How can I help my daughter?

Question

My daughter Hayden who is 11 years old is stuffing her bra's to make he boobs look bigger. Ever since she was little she wanted to have boobs. But now that she is in Middle School she feel slike she has to have them. All of her friends have started their periods and she hasn't. So today when she came down stairs. I could see that she stuffed her bra that she stole from her older sister because she doesn't have any yet. Her sister started her period when she was 9 years old, but now Hayden feels like there is something wrong with her like she thinks she is a freak or something. I don't know what to do. When she went outside our nextdoor neighbors have 4 sons and one is in Haydens grade and the other is going out with my other daughter Lorraina. But Mike the one who is 11 just stared and couldn't keep his eyes off her chest. So I call Hayden inside and told her to go upstairs and unstuff her self. What do I do now. Mike likes her and she like him. So all she wants is too look older. Help

Answer 1

I wouldn't let her stuff her bra...I wouldn't want her to get in the habit of trying to change herself to attract the attention of boys! I like the suggestion of a training bra, even a slightly padded one...nothing wrong with getting used to wearing one, especially if shes likely to end up needing one all the time.

Also, you might mention that she is lucky to be a late bloomer...I didn't start my period until I was 16 and was still wearing a training bra at that time. I read once that girls who started their periods late were less likely to develop certain kinds of cancers and were less likely to have cramps and other PMS symptoms! ...and there may be some longer-term benefits...I had several friends in the same boat in high school (feeling left out because we weren't "women" yet and didn't have boobs). When we all showed up at our 20th high school reunion, us late bloomers looked noticeably younger than many of the girls that matured very early...no sagging boobs in our group!!

Answer 2

About the period: 11 is still very young to start that. About the stuffing of the bra: I would not let her do that, but the padded bra thing sounds like a good idea. I don't agree with the ideas that you should encourage (and help) her to look older. You have plenty of years ahead of you for that. Don't go making trouble for her or yourself. She is still a young girl. Just be there to talk to her and support her feelings. But help her to just be happy as she is. I have an 11 year old daughter as well.

Answer 3

First, I'd recommend getting her some training bras (even if she's got nothing to "train", at least she'll have the straps evident under her clothes so she doesn't feel like a kid. You might even see if they make slightly (very slightly) padded bras for her size - just so she doesn't feel like she needs to stuff her bra. It's totally normal not to have started her period yet - I'd find some online resources or books about how teen girls' bodies develop so she can be informed and realize that she's not even a late bloomer - she's well in the range of normal.

Answer 4

First off every young girl wants to have boobs. It's just a faze, she feels like she has to be like everyone of her friends. Also she really admires her older sister and wants to be just like her, but she's just too young right now and hasn't got to that stage.

If your daughter wants too look older, what you can do to help is introduce her to make-up. That always make young girls look older. But what I'm sensing is that you don't want your little girl to grow up yet. That's ok, Every parent gets that way sometimes.

Another thing you can do to help your daughter is set down and talk to her. And explain to her that she doesn't need to rush anything, it will happen on it's own.

I hope I have answered your question. I wish the best of luck to you and your daughter.

With Love,
Nikki <3

Answer 5

I would not let her stuff the bra. You may let her go and pick out a couple of bras that she likes. Maybe let her get one with a little bit of padding so she feels more secure. Most of all talk to her and let her know it is ok that she is developing slower. She will be greatful one of these days. Help her build her self-esteem where she is not worryng about boobs.

Answer 6

This is a normal phase. In middle school my friends and I all stuffed our bras with socks. Buy her some inserts and a bra so that she'll feel like everyone else. In a year or so she won't have to do any more stuffing.

Answer 7

Have a "girl's day" at the mall. Buy her a padded bra. If you ban her from stuffing her bra, just will just do it behind your back and it'll pull you two apart. She's already in the habit of doing it.

Answer 8

She shouldn't have started stuffing...but now that she started she can't really stop, everyone is used to it...but with big boobs, in middle school, you will get made fun of, and guys like to touch them, it has happened to girls at my school last year in 6th grade and 7th...

Answer 9

SHOW UR DAUGHTER THIS


OK IK ITS WIERD TO HERE FROM ANOTHER ELEVEN YEAR OLD BUT LISTEN TO WAT I GOTTA SAY SHE ISSS JUST GOING THROUGH A STAGE AND ITS NO UNATURAL I FELT WIERD TO THAT I HADNT GOTTEN MY PERIOD AND ALL MY FRINEDS DID THEN MY SISTER TOLD ME HER FRIENDS OLDER SISTER GOT IT AND SHE WAS 15 AND THE STUFFINS PART WELL I HAVE NO CHESST EITHER NO ONE AT MY SCHOOL DOES AND THEY R ALL FLAT CHESTED AND ONE TIME MY FRIEND STUFFED AND SO BOYS WUD FINDD HER MORE ATRACTIVE BUT IT FELL OUT OF HER BRA AND A BOY SAW IT HIM AND HIS FRIENDS WERE LAUGHING AND WUDNT STOP MAKEING FUN OF HER SO ITS JUST A WARNING

Answer 10

If she wants to look older why not by her clothes that make her look older. or let her wear makeup