Saturday was my birthday.So on sunday one of my guy friends (who I had not seem in years) came to visit his mother and came to church and he brought a chain with an I love you pendant.I showed it to my boyfriend immediately and he seemed fine with it.
Later in the day he told me to give up the chain or give him up. My friend knows that I have a boyfriend,so I don't see why he is so upset with just a friendly gift.
I love my boyfriend but I am not going to give back a gift.Guys please tell me why he is so upset and girls what would you do.
It is not weird that the pendant says I love you.All my friends (even girls) says that to me I am easy to love.
2007-07-09 11:34:38 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Pure jealousy and insecurity!
Guys do not like it when their gf/wife receives anything with the words "I love you" imprinted on it (especially from another guy)!
I wouldn't give it back but you need to find a compromise you and your boyfriend can live with (if you want to keep him)
I know that sounds wrong but guys can be stubborn and possessive at times!
2007-07-09 11:40:11 · answer #1 · answered by Matt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless this guy is gay or thinks of you as a sister, it’s completely inappropriate for him to give you anything that says “I love you” on it. He may not have any romantic feelings for you, but he has to respect the fact that you’re in a relationship. Period.
As for your boyfriend; did you show him the chain while you were around other people? That may be why he initially didn’t seem opposed to it. Or, he may have been unsure of what to think so he tried to be happy for you while he got his thoughts together. Guys want to be respected in relationships and you keeping this chain will be very disrespectful towards him and your relationship. Why are you willing to give up this guy you say you love for a chain from a friend? If the chain and the other friend mean more to you than your boyfriend, you don’t love him at all. The best thing to do is to tell your friend you really appreciate the thoughtfulness but you can’t accept the gift because it’s not appropriate while you’re in a relationship. Then tell your boyfriend you had no idea it would be so hurtful to him and you’re sorry. He needs to understand that you made an innocent mistake and that he overreacted by forcing you to choose him or the chain. Talk it out. Get to the specifics of why he wanted you to give it back. And reassure him that your love belongs only to him.
2007-07-09 11:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by Nick H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright.. even after you said that, my immediate impression is that the I Love You is a little inappropriate. The chain with another thing on it would have been awesome, but I could understand how your bf was upset about it. He reacted in a negative way that I wouldn't appreciate, it's unnecessary to make you choose and have to give up a gift from an obviously cherished friend. I suggest initiating a talk where you both discuss your opinions. You can tell him that if he wants you to get rid of the pendant than he needs to have a very valid reason, don't just let him get away with throwing a tantrum and then being given what he wants. Right now all he is thinking is that he likes you so much and as you and your friend are close, he doesn't want to lose you. Don't freak out on the way he reacted, but explain to him that you need better reasoning. You also have to respond with an explanation, why you don't want to give up the pendant, something stronger than you don't want to be feeling guilty about giving up a gift. If you have a concrete background on why it is so special to you he may reconsider. That's all I can think of right now, I just wouldn't jump on him for making you take it off, he's just lashing out in a fear of losing you.
2007-07-09 11:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by justcallme-crazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I love you is a big place. If it is on a pendant from a guy, its a very specific kind of love. I think you probably understand this better than you are letting on, or you wouldn't be here taking the particular tone that this posting has. He has every right to be mad, you are accepting and wearing a "possesive" gift from another guy. If you don't want to give back the gift, then at least talk to the guy and make sure he understands you are only keeping it as a friendly gesture. NEVER wear it, as the only purpose it has is as a marking of territory.
The reason he originally didn't say anything is that he either wasn't entirely certain how he felt about it and what it meant, or more likely he was trying to be ok with it and look at it from a better angle than what it was clearly intended as.
2007-07-09 11:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by Exosus 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it depends if my fiance received a gift from another girl that said I love you I would be upset but I have 3 children with him so the situation may be a bit different .It may have been a gift and you don't want to be rude but whom do you love more if you really feel that strongly about not hurting your friends feelings than maybe you don't feel as strongly towards your boyfriend as you thought you did . Your boyfriend however should have trust in you and if he doesn't than you can't have a successful relationship one of you needs to give a little or it won't work. You shouldn't have to give it back but maybe just don't wear it, hang it up in your room or something
2007-07-09 11:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by freckleface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your distant boyfriend might have been better to give you a "friends" gift---I think he is trying to get back into your life by giving you an "I love you" pendant. Your boyfriend might be justified being uneasy about this situation--if you want to keep your present relationship, you are right to give back the pendant and have your boyfriend present when you do.
2007-07-09 12:37:34 · answer #6 · answered by skyward 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it IS werid that he would give you an I love you chain...even if you are easy to love...I can definitly see why your BF would be upset...I wouldn't keep the chain...I would give it back even from a good friend...because I think the friend means something more than were just friends...
2007-07-09 11:44:12 · answer #7 · answered by <3<3<3<3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you brought it up to your boyfriend only when you showed it to him, he should stop being so jealous amd immature. If you mentioned it several times, he probably thinks that you like the guy. Why don't you just tell your boyfriend to stop being a jerk. As far as the gift goes, I wouldn't return it, but I would put it away until your bf either goes away or starts being a rational person again.
It sounds like he might be a bit possesive, so be careful.
2007-07-09 11:42:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend seems to have some serious jealously problems or he is looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship. I say keep the chain and ditch the boyfriend.
2007-07-09 11:39:10 · answer #9 · answered by SoccerPlayer666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, i can see where your bf is coming from. it was probably inappropriate for your "friend" to give that to you knowing that you were involved. For a male "friend" to give a female "friend" a gift that says "i love you" is an obvious attempt to start something romantic. and imo i think it's pretty niave to think otherwise. i would probably do the same thing that your bf is doing. he is standing his ground and not allowing a "friend" to worm his way into the relationship. the fact is, guys and girls can't just "be friends". but that is a whole other issue.
2007-07-09 11:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by scruffdog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋