I've been reading the progress reports from the evil atheist/evolutionist/satanic conspiracy and I'm afraid to say that we've been doing a terrible job.
Many people still believe in creation despite our massive brainwashing efforts and all those fake dinosaur fossils.
More shockingly, we have yet to turn a single straight person gay! What's the deal here people?
It was supposed to be simple, we teach the kids that they come from monkeys and they were supposed to abandon morality and turn homo! What happened?
2007-07-09 11:19:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You must have missed the secret meeting last week.
2007-07-09 11:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope that your assessment of yourself is just something you say and not your actual feelings about yourself, and here's why: There's enormous power in words (even when we don't intend them to be), and as you speak so you will behave. If she's as wonderful as you say, you certainly don't want to offer her a "complete and utter failure and a retard", do you? But you're going to experience a great deal of unnecessary misery if you perpetually feel that people deserve "better" than you. Now is as good a time as any to change your thinking before this one gets away from you. God made you the way you are; He doesn't make junk, and He doesn't make mistakes. Food for thought. Good luck to you.
2016-05-21 22:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually Atheism is on the rise in America, and other parts of the industrialized world. It's especially hard for Christians like me to talk about my religious values to others because there is a certain segment of the Christian population who are spewing venomous hate on subjects they don't know, for reasons they don't understand, which makes talking about God extremely difficult because people who would have been open to the message of Christ now see all Christians as intolerant, bible thumping, lunatics. So for some reason people seem to be falling away from the church and God in general. Oh well, it used to be a real nice religion based on love and compassion but I guess those values are too hard for some people to live by.
2007-07-09 11:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by johnjacob01 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let's take a page out of the Christian book. Build HUGE atheist "churches", steal a bunch of holidays and put our twist on them, demand equal time in classrooms. Oh yeah, and kill all those pesky monkeys.
2007-07-09 11:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by mikalina 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
More propaganda, I say! We need to force evilution on the masses! Lets start making Catholic schools illegal and make atheism the official religion of the U.S!
Or like, lets just tell everyone to leave us alone. That seems to get them riled up.
2007-07-09 11:27:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't lose heart, women are still wearing pants AND reading in rampant numbers. Sooner or later this is sure to make us "leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." Just as Pat Robertson predicted.
2007-07-09 11:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by KC 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
hahaha...nice sarcasm
i dont know what happened rally, i mean...things were going good...we overran san francisco...our castro district office did a great job....
(shrugs)
what we need to do is keep covering up the eviudence the creationists have...keep framing people and sending them to jail for "tax evasion"...to...you know...keep them fropm spreading their concrete correct conslusions from informing the public!
2007-07-09 11:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by johnny.zondo 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Kirk Cameron blew our cover with the banana thing!
Damn him!
2007-07-09 11:27:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Okay, time for plan B. Bring out the aliens!
2007-07-09 11:26:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry Reverend, I lost my decoder ring and it all went t!ts up after that.
2007-07-11 03:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋