Sexual harassment issue – any and all opinions needed?

Question

Recently a service tech came to our home and was with my fiancée alone for nearly an hour. During his visit his behavior became inappropriately vulgar with her and scared her.

I’ve written a 6 page letter to send to him. Now I can’t decide whether to send it or not. He thinks he has permission to fish here, and he thinks he got away with his actions. The letter is stern yet as professional as I could be. No names/locations are mentioned.

Part of me says send it, so he that he doesn’t behave this way again around other women, and so he doesn’t show up on our property. Another part of me says to not send it or waste more energy on the issue. I have posted this letter at www.creativecamping.com (extra domain I had).

I’d appreciate anyone reading it and clicking on the buttons I created saying either “Send it” or “Don’t send it”. I’m really torn what to do. If I take any action at all regarding this issue, it will be sending this letter.
Thanks.

I would like to request that before anyone provides answers - they read my letter. It addresses the situation the way I prefer to address it. Thanks.

While I really appreciate everyone's comments, I don't think most of the people who have provided answers so far have read the letter or understand it's purpose. Six pages is overkill in normal letters, but he would have no choice but to read it, and get the point.

I have no interest to go to the police, start a big uproar, or get involved with his supervisor, unless I have too. The letter addresses that - if anyone would take the time to read it, and realize all that it may accomplish.

This letter is about changing his behavior instantly - forevermore.
That is it's purpose. Thanks

This is fascinating. I'm getting mixed responses. Some say it is an immature letter. Perhaps that is true and perhaps that is why I am so torn. I just got to thinking about it, sat down, started typing, and that's what came out.

Those who don't think it's immature seem to think it's awesome and I should definitely send it.

If I address this with his supervisor, then you can pretty much say all chaos will break lose. We don't have time for that, nor the desire to have the daily dose of negativity that would come with it. We have enough to deal with as it is. Our lives are already overwhelmed.

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I have decided not to send the letter and to let the proper authorities handle this.

I still wish he could read it though. Anyway, I have taken down the website since I have made a decision. Thanks again for all the opinions & surveys at the website.

Answer 1

Good job I read it and put send. As a person that has been violated in my own work place and scared to say anything to the boss. He is now thankfully in prison for violating other women and murdering them. The link I put on here is from a news station in Spokane, Washington of the sicko that violated me watch the videos especially the one where he is talking. He is lying through his teeth and is not accepting he did anything wrong and gets caught in one of them changing his story. These people need someone to stand up to them and show them how disgusting they are. It ruins peoples lives when it happens to them. It makes people fear to go anywhere or do anything.
Hope you have a wonderful wedding, marriage and life. Good Luck! Mandi in Yakima, Washington

Answer 2

Send it to the company he works for. Sending it to only him will do you NO GOOD AT ALL, and could only worsen the outcome. Notify them that you ARE in contact with a lawyer and WILL press charges.

Don't threaten, just DO it.

I read the whole letter. IMO he will just laugh at you and continue doing this to who knows who. Do you really want him to do this to other women? If you do NOT send a letter to the company, that is what you would be doing, letting other women become victims. Complain to the company, better yet have your girl complain (you could write it up, she could go over it and sign it). DEMAND that something be done. Inform his supervisor and if you do not hear back from that person start calling every day until you get an answer as well as any disciplinary action taken against him. If he was only "lectured" at, demand his job. PROMISE to take it all the way to court. Get a lawyer on retainer and send a "nice" note to the company.

Answer 3

1. You should not deal with this lout, but his supervisor. How will you know otherwise that someone is doing something about this?

2. Six pages is overkill. One or two incredibly frosty paragraphs should suffice. Or the threat of litigation. But again, do not send it to the employee.

3. The company will require names/locations to make sure you are not making this up [I am not doubting you]. So you must include all the facts.

Good luck!

EDIT - if you don't want to solve the problem by talking to the correct authorities, then why ask the question?

Answer 4

I already went to the site and told you to send it, but I'll just reiterate. The jerk is lucky that all you're doing is writing him a letter.
However, it is kind of a sticky situation... maybe you're caring a little too much about him losing his job or family over this. Maybe it would be better to just let authorities handle it. It's hard to say because I don't know the guy, his situation, or how he'd react to either your letter, or to a reprimand from his employer. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Answer 5

definitely contact the company and not the employee. by sending the employee the letter, you could be bringing on more unwanted attention from him. also, a letter may boost his ego instead of putting his tail between his legs.
you could also contact an attorney...consultations are usually free but harassment laws vary from state to state.
if you see him on your property again, ask him to leave and contact your local police department.
and you do need to include dates, times and places of all occurrences you've had with this individual. it's your word against his and facts speak very loudly. who knows, you may not have been the only person who's had a problem with this individual. by contacting the company and demanding that he be rep-remanded for this incident is your best bet.

Answer 6

I believe that your wife's actions will be more effective than your own in this case, since you were not present. My advice would be to have her write a concise letter to the tech's place of employment, citing examples of behavior that disturbed her, and close the letter by asking for action that would satisfy you both. You won't get any results without asking for them.

DO NOT sit on this matter. Your wife's comfort and security were compromised in her home, and that's unacceptable.

Answer 7

Sexual harrassment is a extensive deal. rather in case you're speaking with regard to the persons acceptance and activity. You do would desire to talk up and enable them to comprehend that it did no longer look like a great deal to you. some human beings ( the lady) take issues in a different way. She would hate adult males generally and can't wait to get at each and every male she will. In sexual harassment situations, it incredibly is as much as her to tell administration approximately it. it incredibly is then managements responsability to then refer to the guy and tell him approximately it. IF, IF, IF--- it keeps---THEN it incredibly is sexual harassment. they might desire to grant him a warning and of venture to no longer do it returned. If he has no warning, he has no theory he's offending her. in case you probably did no longer evaluate it harrassment, then do you think approximately it digging his own grave? you could desire to tell them you have witnessed a similar situation to you and you probably did no longer evaluate it harrassment. it incredibly is then as much as administration to decide on the result. Do the stunning situation!!

Answer 8

You should NOT send this letter, instead you need to speak with this man's supervisor. Explain to the supervisor that if this situation is not dealt with properly (ex. firing, reassignment to a new position, etc.), then you will take legal action for sexual harassment.

Answer 9

Make a huge issue about this!!! Why wait until she got raped? Report him to his company, call the police and file a report also. When things like this slide once it get s worse.

Answer 10

Send it to the Company He works for ! not to Him, He will denied everything. If you send it to His Boss at least they will be aware of his bad behavior, or maybe He can get fired! (He deserves it) Good Luck