And when our children ask us... 'Am I good or bad?'... what shall we tell them?

Answer 1

Tell them the prose by Rumi,
"Out beyond the understanding;
of good and bad,
there is a field,
will you meet me there"? ~*~

Answer 2

Fortunately mine are way beyond that stage, bjut i am very glad to recall that during the early years it came to me, for no specific reason that I was aware of, to make a complete separation between the individual and the deed ( read word and thought as well ). I always made it clear that it was the action that was 'bad' ( nowadays I would prefer that I had used the terminology 'undesirable' in the place of 'bad' ), and not the child, thus "That was a naughty thing you did" rather than "You are a naughty child".

I always tried to explain why, in fact we developed a game of 'consequences' from any questionable act of the resulting effects, which always ended up with something ludicrous, like "and then your arm got chopped off" or somesuch, to lessen the tension.

It was a 'golden rule' that, no matter what ghastliness may have been committed during the day, the last thing my children heard was that they were loved and the best they could possibly be.

I don't say that it was 'perfect' but the results seem to speak quite eloquently.

It is often hard to remember just how deeply our offspring can be affected by what seem to be the mildest of criticisms.

Answer 3

this could be a scam. you will not get the pup. Did you come across this guy by using Craigslist? i'm not likely to yell at you for paying for a pup as antagonistic to adopting. i'm not likely to allow you be conscious of that there is no such element as a tea cup something - in basic terms small canines with massive wellbeing issues. i won't be able to even lecture you on how risky it is to equipment up a pup and deliver her by using a international flight. i won't be able to scare you with all the customs subject concerns omit Cameroon could have. yet i'm going to allow you be conscious of that's one hundred% a scam. That, and the AKC won't provide a "stamp" to a teacup. Heck, the AKC would not even know teacups! And actually, you at the instant are not so naive which you think of that because of the fact somebody pulled a photo off Google they *particularly* have the pup, do you?

Answer 4

I tell them how much I don't like that question because it breaks them down into such simple terms of black and white. Either/or.

They don't ask me that, anymore. Because we strictly deal with actions being affective or ineffective. What sort of outcome you want, and what you actually got.

Covers p!ssing me off, too...Which is not the barometer of good/bad at our house. I have personal accountability and they are not responsible for it.

I have astute individuals on my watch. You know how CD is always reminding us about enlightenment unfolding? The kids haven't been closed off. It's keeping them open that is key.

The world is at their fingertips. It cannot be avoided. Nor should it be. But it all affects the kids. They are largely influenced by everything. The key is how to take affect.

Answer 5

We teach them to separate who they are, from what they did. Children are not bad, they sometimes act bad though. Teach a child that truth, and they have a much better chance of maturing into a productive human being. The idea of being good or bad is an abnormal psychological concept. Therapist refer to it as "good mother/bad mother." We are all made up of good and bad traits. We should learn to improve upon whom we are.

Answer 6

Tell them, "it's your choice", do what feels right"...then as a parent I would allow them exposure to plenty of both examples.

An alternative would be to say,"All people are beautiful creations from a loving universe. There aren't good and bad people. It's the things they choose...the way they live...that
they attract good things or bad results.."

Answer 7

What you tell your children will be forever remembered.
And they will not ever let you forget what you said.
I chose to tell my kids, - you are good! and when they did something wrong or misbehaved, I would say - my good little boy did a bad thing, or my good little girl did a bad thing.
You need to emphasize that your child is a good child, and then they will strive to be that way.
If you tell your kids they are bad, they will keep that in thier minds and continue to be that way.
Enforce positives!

Answer 8

If they ask this question 'Am I good or bad?' we tell them they originate from the most perfect good of all and so good is who they are. Interesting what all have read into this question.

Answer 9

In an relatively temporal way Children can be good or bad. In otherwords they are not as bad as they can be.

However before God's law they are only bad continually - this is why Children as well as adults need to repent and believe the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Answer 10

I personally think we should never tell our children they are bad. All children are good. They become bad when someone is telling them they are bad, their spirit is broken and they have no self esteem and turn to things like drugs.
Always praise your children, give them smiles and love....

Answer 11

Tell them "you are neither.... so is anybody else", and add "just see whether you are doing something that is suitable to the situation, more than just being what you like or dislike to do ..... and that way, you will be more of what you call a 'good'"