My boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while now and I am coming to a time in my life where I feel I am about ready to get married. I know he loves me and wants to be with me, thats not what I am worried about. The thing that bothers me is that he makes comments about how he wants to be together for like 3-4 more years before we tie the knot! By then I will be pushing 30 and he will be past the big 3-0!
I know it is all with the best intentions. He wants to be stable, ready and sure. But to be completely honest I don't want to wait that long. I will because I love him, I'm not going anywhere and I am not going to force him but how can I speed up the process without nagging him?!?!? PLEASE HELP ME OUT!!!
2007-07-09 09:16:40 · 15 answers · asked by Honey Baby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Communication and compromise are essential to any good marriage. It seems like your relationship may be lacking in both of these if marriage is this important to you and you don't even know how to communicate this to him. Maybe it is better if you don't get married. Find someone who you can talk about your feelings with and who considers your needs important.
2007-07-09 09:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by jonmm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help you with what?
If you already know that you are going to spend the rest of your life with this guy why would it matter if he wants to wait a few more years when you're financially read for a big wedding? A ring on the finger doesn't change your feelings for one another. Your age shouldn't be a factor either. I'm sure this guy is just thinking ahead and wants to be ready financially for kids and a house and the wedding and everything. You can't speed this process, it takes time.
2007-07-09 13:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't speed up the process. You can not make someone be ready for a step like that. Your either going to have to move on if you dont want to wait, or be supportive and patient with him untill he feels the time is right. You can not force someone to marry you just because you want to get married now.
2007-07-09 09:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by California Kush 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Little boys do not grow up thinking about their wedding day and planning it from age 10. Getting married is a womans dream not generally a mans. Therefore, we dont spend our time thinking about it or care. We do it to get u off our backs. BIG MISTAKE!
If he does not share your same desire for marriage, thats your problem, not his. He has the right to live his life without you pestering him. Talk to him and see what he thinks. Get your answer and move on. He is not a jerk if he does not want to marry you. Stop acting like your biological clock is his problem. You have every right to walk in and out of any relationship.
Or you can sign the the prenup now like Mantasic recomends and take the same chances he does.
Women want it all and give crumbs in return. You talk about wasting years of your lives with us and u deserve what u get. What about the years we wasted with your assses. Dont we deserve anything for that?
Who cries for us, Argentina
2007-07-09 17:12:38 · answer #4 · answered by Vegas Mike 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't. If he is going to marry you he will ask when he is ready and feels comfortable. If a man want to get married he will ask. Why nag and try to force him.
2007-07-09 09:21:20 · answer #5 · answered by code1304 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need to have a heart to heart talk. Let him know how you feel, find some compromise. Maybe, even if it is 2 years away you can set a date, get things rolling.
2007-07-09 09:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by Ken R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I WILL ANSWER THIS QUESTION FOR YOU AND TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD DO . . .
If you want to marry him NOW, no problem!!!
Get an attorney to draw up a pre-nuptual agreement
which states -->> "If the marriage fails , for ANY reason. . . you will be entitled to NOTHING."
He will marry you TODAY if you do that.
Still want to marry him now???????????
Yeah that's what I thought. - LOL!
Because unless you do . . SHUT THE HELL UP.
HE will decide what he does with his future . . . with whom (and how) he spends it. . . when (and if) he wants to get married. etc.
YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE ANY OF THAT FOR HIM.
EVER.
If you think "you turning 30" is a good enough reason . . THINK AGAIN. MEN DONT MAKE LIFE PLANS because a woman's Birthday is approaching.
If you were MY girlfriend / fiancee and you said the above paragraph to me . . . I would throw your imitation Fendi bag at you on the way out the door. . . while ENJOYING watching you leave.
Cheers.
:)
OH! AND P.S -->> DONT FORGET I ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION PERFECTLY, AND IT WAS CLEARLY THE 'BEST ANSWER'. YOU CAN SPEED UP THE PROCESS OF WANTING HIM TO MARRY YOU -->> RIGHT NOW!!!
But will you??
If NOT . . . then I seriously wonder if he knows what he is getting himself into. The poor guy. I hope you and your doormat will be very happy together.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
2007-07-09 09:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
If you want it so badly, ask him to marry you. Why does he need to be the one who asks? Because he's the guy? Why do you think that way?
If you want this, YOU need to be proactive. Talk to him about it. You must explain to him what you want. If your interests and his are not compatible, then consider finding yourself another love interest.
As things stand, it is YOUR responsibility to make clear what you want in the relationship. Do not blame your boyfriend for not cooperating if he is not aware of what you want.
2007-07-09 09:20:45 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you ask him? It is the 21st century, after all. Woman can vote and own property. Why shouldn't they be the one to propose as well?
2007-07-09 09:20:49 · answer #9 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you not going anywhere then what is the biggest freakin hurry? If you love him why get marriage ASAP? R u Stupid? Listen to what your saying.
2007-07-09 09:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by Kootay ! 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋