My family history is so ugly. My great-great-grandmother was Cherokee and she may have been a slave. My great-grandmother was abandoned by her 1st husband, and her 2nd husband was abusive to her and the 12 children she had. My grandmother had been molested by this man, and her 4 brothers were beaten and all 8 girls were raped by this demon. My grandmother got pregnant by a married man and had my mother at 16. By the time I was born in 1980, my 15-yo mother almost gave birth to me in the toilet. Luckily, the doctors restrained her so I could be born. A few months after I was born, my mother developed a $100 a day crack habit. She abused me and hit me when I was an infant. For the next four years, I was shuffled around from Mom to Dad and my two grandmothers. When I finally went to live with Mom's mother, it was hell. My grandmother had married an alchololic and abusive man. I was filled with so much hate then, I knew I needed help, so I got therapy. Why does this still hurt me at 27?
2007-07-09 08:56:00 · 9 answers · asked by Peaches 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Time heals all wounds... Just hang-on there and continue your therapy. They can help you better than anyone.
2007-07-09 09:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pröƒé§§ôr♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are affected by alot of negative things from your past and it is obiviously still bothering you so stay in therepy, and if that doesn't seem to work find a new therepist. I have a friend who was abused physically and sexually as a child who I feel has a wonderful outlook. She says, "If I continue to let this bother me, he's still winning by affecting my life and I'm not gonna let him do that." I think that is wonderful that she can find such strength and go on with her life the way she does. Keep in mind you are not alone and everyone (no matter how together their life seems) has some kind of skeleton in their closet. Whether you realize it or not, this has made you a stronger person, use that strength and try helping others who currently have similar situations to deal with. My guys favorite saying is....
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift from god,
that's why we call it the present!
I hope you have someone who is good to support you now even though it sounds like you didn't have good support in your past. My e-mail is open if you ever wanna talk. Good luck in life to you! Hang in there! Also here is one of my favorite sayings that I made up for a friend who was stressed, hope you enjoy it...
Did you ever get to hang upside down from a crooked tree?
To get another glimpse at life, other than what you see.
Focus on your future, forget about your past.
And while you're hanging upside down....
tell the world to kiss your a**!
2007-07-09 16:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it takes many years to overcome that trauma. You have basically been deprived any kind of healthy routine (stability). From a healthy routine comes the where with all to think about the past as an adult and make adult assessments and a plan to overcome.
Working with a therapist is a huge step in the direction you want to go. Expectations should be an important part of your therapy. That is what do want? do you want to be normal?then you need to define normal. Do you want to forgive and forget? Then you will most likely have to chose forget (not possible) or forgive (to forgive is liberating). Be clear in your own head.
I went through a lot as a child and didn't have a major break through until I was 34. And that was about forgiveness.
You hang in there and you will reap great rewards!!
2007-07-09 16:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you still using your past as reasons, let your family used their past as excuses to continue have a bad life
You need to grow up and thank God that you are not able to control yor life,
You have gone thru therapy that is great, that mean you are a wonderful person and want a better life so get it
try to let go, you seems to be smarter than all the women in your family put together so try not to follow their path
healing have nothing to do with age but with time
you maybe 27 but even if it take a life time to heal that is OK
So take it one day at a time
enjoy the good days if you need to stay away from your family do so
I stay away from some of my families, my husband stay away from all his family (we are healthier that way )
if people are truly honest most of them are better off not dealing with their family
Good luck & Take care
2007-07-09 16:26:48 · answer #4 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have obviously been through a lot and have a lot of baggage. Everyone is different and takes different amounts of time to heal. Just make sure that you are set on healing and try not to dwell on it forever. It is hard but well worth it.
2007-07-09 16:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by California Kush 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i was ashamed and ambarassed by my family history, molesters, bigits, alcholics,physical abusers. i hid in a corner nearly all my life. one day i had enough. i said to myself. i didnt ask for it, i dont want it and im not going to let it run my life. our family shame stops right here right now. you have to turn it around. take charge and dont try to fix it you didnt break it. stand up take control of your life you deserve to be happy.braek that family curse by being better than them achieving more and being a better person.what dosnt kill you will only make you stronger
2007-07-09 16:04:54 · answer #6 · answered by sweet young thing 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just try to make a fresh start...pray or read the Bible or something
2007-07-09 18:22:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you'd rather be the "victim" and dwell on it, instead of letting it go and actually living your life.
2007-07-09 16:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you need God in your life! really you do find a church and attend it as much as possible you will feel the anger and hate you have in your heart slowly go away till their is nothing but forgiveness!
2007-07-09 16:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by notyochic 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋