how do i cope with my parents bossing me around 24/7 with pointless things?! what did their last slave die of!

Question

they're always bossing me around and i feel like i have no control. i cant go and talk to my friends on the computer until ive done EVERYTHING. theyre control freak parents. they even put a password on the laptop, they have parental control on it so i cant go on past nine. I'M 14!! my mums a complete mental case, for filming (because im an extra in a tv series) they said one day i needed this jacket so i brought it and didnt have to use it, noone on set even saw it or even knew i had it. today i cant find it, but my mum's being completely unreasonable and is MAKING me find it, its a cheap jacket from a charity shop, i never (ever) wear it and i really dont need it! thats just one example. my mum, dad, and grandad are more bothered with hearing the telly than hearing about my day. my dad cba doing anything, my grandads a complainer and my mums got a headache all the time and is always complaining and nagging. how do i tell them to lay off me, i cant take any more, i get really wound up

i never mentioned about money. i've got over 1,500 quid in my bank account and i ahve no access to it. im aware theyre trying to save it for me but i ned to LIVE! im earning money for my extra job in a tv series and i cant touch any money at all!
also i must admit i am a chocaholic and, even thought im a size 6 they think that having a little choc will make me fat! ive never been on a diet and im not even allowed to buy chocolate with my dismal amount opf pocket money i get (occasionally) they dont encourage me, i cant remember the last time one of them hugged me or i hugged one of them. probably something like last christmas. im always annoyed at them. i never answer back, ive had a strict upbringing, i never hit them and am never violent (there was a social services problem, my dad used to beat me) i get really wound up at my mums constant nagging and end up just wanting to scream, or walk out

the only comfort i get it from my friends and my music. somehow, for reasons beyojnd my comrehension my parents dont appreciate fallout boy, lordi and my chem and i cant go on hte computer to talk until ive done everything (1/2 hour violin practise, homework, etc) im not allowed to text or call anyone on my mobile other than my parents for an emergency. they keep a tab of the money i use. im not allowed to use the house phone. i live nowhere near anywhere with any decent shops so i cant walk out for a day and shop. i'd be in big trouble anyway. they expect me to pay for my own hair appointments even thought i only get pocket money. i even ahve to put birthday money and christmas money in the bank, never to be seen again until im at uni. how do i cope, how can i get the message across that i hate my life, i hate them and i hate the way they nag and complain. im not depressive or suicidal or anything, i just want more freedom. the social worker had a chat with them and they aint changed

Answer 1

Hi my friend.
first, I want to tell you that to have a family is one of the best things that can happen to a person. I know that when one is 14 years old, it is difficult, but I think you must be patient and to realize how lucky you are because you have parents who are bossing you around because they care about you and because they love you.

When I was 14 as you are, I barely talked with my parents and I enjoyed more to be with my friends that with them. "they don't understand what I like to do, they are old, they don't understand me!" are the common sentences and I think is absolutely normal.

However, now they are my best friends, I do love them so much and I have realized that they have been a bless for my life.

My advice is be patient, love them a lot, and be thankful because you have a family.

There are many guys as you that would love to have parents, it doesn't matter if they sometimes are bossing around.

Take care of yourself.

Answer 2

This is what I'm understanding: your parents do not have an interest in your day except to control what you eat, where you go, how long you are on the internet and to make sure you do not have any money to buy anything of significance. Also, you do not have access to the family phone, your mother is somewhat obsessed (living her life) through you being on tv, otherwise has a headache and/or no interest in you/your life. You are shown little or no affection and your father has been violent with you to the point that social services has been called in.

And people are telling you to be GRATEFUL?

With my daughters, they are trusted until proven they can not be trusted. If you've done nothing to deserve such harsh treatment, maybe you can find a trusted family friend that your parents are ok with you spending time with. Your mother sounds like a "pushy living her dream through you" kind of tv wanna be mother. They are the worst. There are enough reality shows here in the states that portray those kinds of parents and if that's what you have, I am sorry.

There is NO excuse for their not showing affection/love to you. A child needs hugs/kisses/affirmation that his/her life matters and not just because you "might" be a star one day. I can't imagine not hugging my kids and embracing their differences ~ one is a huge intellect, one's a wonderful photographer, one hates almost all schoolwork but dances like a dream. I don't push them toward anything, just support what they want to try. They are expected to do as well as they are capable of doing in school, they have chores and I get ticked when they don't do them, of course. All moms nag but there is a limit.

Take one day at a time, keep a journal to vent in, do as you're told as best as you can and keep auditioning for parts if that is what makes YOU happy. It'll keep you out of the house and make your wannabe mother happy too.

I would try to negotiate more spending money along with your next part, however. Every kid needs some spending money or you never will learn money management skills. A lost cheap jacket means nothing to you unless you had to pay for it.

Good luck to you, sweetie. You will grow up and if you wish, you'll never have to see them again once you leave their home. Keep envisioning that while you are under their thumbs. ;D

Answer 3

So you have parents who try to keep you safe from Internet predators and want to keep you from making bad choices on the Internet by limiting your time and usage? They also care enough about you to teach you that you should take good care of your things (no matter how much they cost) and to have a good work ethic?
Wow, they are horrible. I mean, who can stand parents who actually care about their kids and want to help them to be able to be independent when they are older? Who can stand a parent who wants a child to learn the value of money and treat their possessions with a little respect? Who can live with a family who doesn't have all the perfect people AND doesn't think that their little complaining daughter is the absolute center of the universe and should be allowed to do anything that she wants?
You have two choices: live with it and gain more privileges by showing that you are responsible OR run away and join the circus.

Answer 4

Alright, maybe they are a bit overkill, seemingly. But I see it as them merely trying to guide you with good principles. But I know where you're coming from at the same time. You'll get more freedoms as time passes. I'll tell you this, though: unless/until you both move out, and support yourself with your own money (instead of theirs), they will continue to hold power over you. The only way to completely remove their power from you is to do both of those things.

Answer 5

I hate to say it but I agree with them. My parents were alot worse. At your age it doesnt matter what they do or dont do for you, you will find something to be pissed about. It sounds like they are good parents and you will thank them later... trust me. Just back off of them and they will grant you more freedoms as time passes.

Answer 6

That sucks...I think everyone goes through that I think...I will tell you that moving out is soooo awesome.!