We are to be married in less then 3 weeks, we were sitting at the table last night going through some songs that are to be played for the dances. I choose the one that I'll be dancing with my dad and he chose the one that we'll be dancing too, then I suggested a song for him and his mom. Then he just stated out of the blue that he won't be dancing with her for a special dance. At first I thought he was joking, but a moment later I knew he wasn't. We have been havin some problems with her lately, to be honest she is driving us nuts. But I told him that he should still do this dance with her, in 2 years when everything is calm he would look back and wished he had of done it. She has hurt him really bad lately, well both of us but more so him. We have tried talking to her about it, but she doesn't see what she is doing, I know this is why he doesn't want to dance, and I might feel the same way if it were the other way around, but still. I need some advice on how to change his mind
2007-07-09 08:19:55 · 11 answers · asked by Erin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ask him to be the bigger person and do it for you. I agree that if he doesn't, he may regret it later on. Furthermore, how will it look to everyone else there? Do you really want to have to get into explanations as to why they aren't dancing together? You're starting a new life together, don't start off with a bad attitude towards someone who has hurt you. Yes, you're probably justified, but do you want it interfering on your special day? Good luck to both of you, and God bless!
2007-07-09 08:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by LadyG 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Unfortunately, you might not be able to change his mind. But try to explain that him dancing with her will help the two of you make your day more special. Tell him you don't want him to make a decision that he will regret if he and his mother ever reconcile. If he makes the decision to include her, he always has the knowledge that he took the high road.
However, if he's very adamant about not wanting to dance with her, you might need to accept his decision and try not to let it stress you out on your big day.
Good luck and congratulations! :-)
2007-07-09 08:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your pal is jealous of your dating. If you could have a robust bond in your step kids, why might they make a scene at your marriage ceremony. If your companions mom and dad are there, Im certain they'll be ready to distract the kids in the event that they do turn out to be disillusioned. Your pal is discovering issues, in which there appears to be none. I might simply forget about her, and be aware of having fun with this time.
2016-09-05 21:13:28 · answer #3 · answered by mcclair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you did not tell us 'what' the argument is about, it is going to be harder to advise. Hurt him how??
Just trying to help tooooo much...he needs to get over it and dance with her.
Trying to break up the wedding.....she should be UNinvited, problem solved.
If he still wants her there but no dance -- leave it up to him, he will have to live with his decision. You don't have to give anyone a reason why they did not dance - none of their business.
2007-07-09 08:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by GP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are about to marry him so you should know that it isnt your job to change him. Let him be. So many women think that they can change their man it is sad. Respect who he is and you will have a much smoother marriage. The last thing he needs, especially with HIS particular mom, is yet another mom ( meaning trying to tell him wha to do) so try to not do that. Best wishes on your marriage.
2007-07-09 08:40:06 · answer #5 · answered by barthebear 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would just talk to him about it again and ask him to do it for you but usually its just a song and dance for bride and dad and bride and groom so relax and enjoy and dont let this ruin you re special day its good enough that she will be their at the wedding and reception she ought to feel honored to even be able to go so i wouldnt push the issue .
2007-07-09 08:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is his call. You are soon to be his wife and you have to learn to accept his decisions. I agree with you and think it is very mature that you realize in a couple years he will look back and regret it--but it is his call to make.
Explain your position to him, but in the end--you can't force him to change his mind.
2007-07-09 08:34:03 · answer #7 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not push your future hubby to do something he does not want to do, especially on his wedding day. He will feel very stressed and will only end up resenting you along with his mom. He does not need this pressure when he is about to make this commitment.
2007-07-09 09:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by Galaxie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn NOW that it's NOT your job to change his mind. He's an adult; this is his decision. He's not always going to do what you want to do yourself, or what you think is important.
2007-07-09 08:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you shouldnt force him into doing things he doesnt want to. its his wedding too and he should do things that pleases him!
i thought that a dance with you and your dad and him with his mom would be plenty. most people jsut do that, anyway.
why create additional awkward moments?
2007-07-09 08:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by Laura 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋