why dose it seem that every military wife cheats?

Question

all but a handful of my old unit is still together and less than that has had a faithful spouse, is it just the duty station (ft hood) ? and why do so many pple lie and say they never cheated, when pple know otherwise?

Answer 1

I'm not sure of the stats...but I'll take a crack at it.

Many in the military get married out of a sense of urgency prior to deployment...perhaps without the proper foundations for a healthy marriage.

(nearly) Everyone craves the companionship of another... time and distance must be a huge factor.

Answer 2

alot of military men get married just so they can live off of post and get a lil extra pay check they dont marry because of love but rather for money and that causes all sorts of problems.

so they go out and find what we call a tag chaser(a woman that wants the benifits) and is completely obsessed with the solider in his quote hot uniform and dog tags. and doesnt realize that soliders are people too there for had no dissregard for there solider in general.

plus most soliders are fresh out of high shcool and most likely placed at a duty station far from family and friends so they get lonely and desperate and the first woman that gives them attention they want to marry.

many military spouses not just wifes do not and cannot grasp the concept that solider has a duty and a job to do so the spouses get upset at not only the military in general but there significant other for doing there job and cheat merely because they cannot handle the military lifesyle.

you have to take into account the fact that miltary people are people and they carry on relationships and daily activities just like anywone else would in life. the military is a small community so your more likely to hear about it and more likely to feel ashamed for them because of what they did or didnt do everyone puts the military up on a pedistial which is fine we should all respect our country but we all need to realize that they are human beings too.

they deploy female soliders to iraq too many of the men will cheat too sometimes they both are cheaters but the women get the heat more then the men do.

there are times when the one that gets left at home hears rumors and stories of other men cheating and they get parnoid and think ill cheat because they are cheating when really the other one never cheated.

marriage is a dog eat dog relationship in this day and age it seems verry few people in this world actually have good relationships.

Answer 3

I have been a military wife for 14 years. Yes, I have known wives who cheat on their spouses, especially during long deployments. But I have also known just as many military men who cheat on thier wives..on long deployments, while gone to another base for training, and while living home like normal. And , statistically, the numbers are no different than the numbers for non-military couples engaging in extra-marital affairs. Where the numbers do change is that many military couples will continue the marriage and try to fix things after an affair has occured more often than non-military couples will. Military life is not easy..on either person in a relationship. The military member is put in the position of always putting family second to career...and spouses are put in the position of knowing this. Plus, while the military member may get to travel (not deploy) as part of his job (and sometime to very cool places) the spouse is often left behind dealing with kids, the bills and all the other day to day. So before you judge these families, take some time and really get to find out what our lives are like...the sacrifice involved in serving our country is not limited to the family member in the BDU's, but includes the spouses and children of that person.

Answer 4

From personal experience I know that %90 percent of the time if one person in the relationship is faithful, the other isn't.

I was deployed 4 times to different places and seen guys cheat on their wives/girlfriends non-stop when their girlfriends would never have thought of it.
Then there are the guys who behave themselves only to come back and here about there girlfriend or wives legs being open like a 7-11.

I think another thing that is a huge factor is the majority of people in the military are age 18-25 and a lot of times marry their highschool sweetheart before ever going through any real challenges or anything in the relationship and then all of the sudden they are thrown on the other side of the country or world from one another and don't know how to handle it.

Another reason is if the wife stays on base while the husband is deployed, she is around literally hundreds of single men day in and day out and usually give into temptation. We had a name for alot of the wives whose husbands were on deployment..... geographical widows. Because as soon as his plane left, the wedding ring came off and she was in the club grinding on some dude that night.

My last reason, is there are tons of guys who feed off the lonliness of women who have husbands or boyfriends either overseas or states away. They use it to their advantage to get what they want, and most of the time it works.

Answer 5

As a retired member of the armed forces, I do not think there is any more cheating by Army wives (or husbands for that matter) than you would find among the rest of the population. In fact, I would guess there is less since many military families lean to the right and are very religious. Nevertheless, they are human like the rest of the population so some cheat and some don't, but to say it seems that all military wives cheat is really unfair.

Answer 6

Oh please do not point fingers at the wives, I have been an Armywife for over 10 yrs and an Airforce Brat , I joined the National Guard over a yr ago I have seen some things in my life time to write a great book about.
I am forever sad to see couples cheat period. People Cheat for their own reasons , but please do not place the blame on the wives , I have watched 2 of my dearest friends get divorced because their husbands have cheated with another Soldier .. disgrace all around ..

By the way I am one of the very few who has never cheated !

Answer 7

Why do they cheat. Often times they married much too young. They did not see the hardships that are part of every day life. They are left at a military base far from home without a sufficient support base. They have to work, raise kids take care of a household by themselves. These are some of the reasons I saw. During Viet Nam, they were referred to as 'West Pac widows", meaning their husbands were stationed in the western Pacific for a 12-13 month tour.

Answer 8

No matter how you look at it... it's about the quality of individuals you're dealing with. If you're away from your wife for a period of time and can't control your hormones til you get home... you have no business in the military. Hormones are the easiest emotion to control. Those who cheat would probably cheat regardless of the time away... they just use that as an excuse!

Now DON'T ANYONE TAKE OFFENSE to this BUT... check on how many Officer vs enlisted folks are divorced/still together. I'll bet you serious money the divorce rate is a ton higher in enlisted personnel! Why you might ask???? Many enlisted people go active duty shortly out of high school... officers do a 4 year gig at a college first>>> a little smarter but mostly a little older and have a better head on their shoulders than enlisted people of the same age. Officers are held to a higher standard and have harder course/training also. As a general rule.

Answer 9

You can ask that same question about the military member themselves. I know more military men that cheated on their wives than wives that cheated on their men. Don't get me wrong, it's not by much. It's just as easy for them to knock boots with someone while they are deployed as it is for a business man/womans spouse to cheat on them on overnight stays. It typically comes down to either loneliness or the inability to cope with the lifestyle or marriage.

Keep in mind, civilians cheat too. You are just looking at a small portion of the population that seems to deal with more stress than the general population. I know more cheaters outside of the military than I do on the inside.

Answer 10

Hmmmmm, 19 years as a spouse, and I can count the number of cheating spouses that I know of on 2 hands, and for those that you just hear of through the rumor mill I'll add another 2 hands.

Now, I will admit that it is more common in some of the services than in others, but in the AF, it really is not that common. Even among the squadrons that are heavily tasked for deployments. It just isn't so....