Im 21. I was asked to hang out by a girl inever met a week before spring break. she said she recently broke up with her bf. i didnt want to be a rebound and set myself up to get hurt. I hung out with her three or four times before the break. There was never really a good moment to kiss her b/c mostly her friends were there so i just put my arm around her, snuggled, played with her hair, and she fell asleep on my chest once. (and i only knew her a week) I dont think i moved too slow b/c we still talked A LOT the first half of the break over the phone, texts, etc. I said i was glad i met her and she was beautiful and i couldnt stop thinking about her and she agreed. But she started getting very distant all of asudden for no reason halfway through the break. when we got back i told her i liked her (less than two weeks after I met her).she said she didnt want a rel. at the time. she then put love msgs in her aim (back with ex-bf?). What did i do wrong so i can learn for the next time??
2007-07-09 05:42:23 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly, you did not do anything wrong! I can assume that she is a screwed up girl but the truth is people break up and get back together. Sometimes we seek comfort when out of the relationship knowing full well that we are likely to go back. The lesson for you is really simple, don't entertain relationships with girls who have just gotten out of a relationship. You are more than welcome to be friends and see if something develops later down the line but playing the auxilary boyfiend is no fun. She'll probably come back to you if she has another spat with her boyfriend. You need to send a clear message that you are not interested in being used as a temporary pastime and beacon to make her boyfirend jealous. Odds are he knows about you and made his play to get her back which is probably what she was hoping for. This doesn't make her a bad person but it doesn't help your agenda either. Just continue to be a remarkable gentleman!
2007-07-09 05:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by rksu747 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think it's best to stay clear from people who have just broke up with their significant others. The reason being is most times they tend to be unclear or uncertain on what they want and how they feel. Knowing all that you did, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to let her know how you felt until much time had passed. I don't think your advances were too slow but I do think they were a bit too fast. In the future, I would not recommend that you pursue someone who has just come from a broken relationship. But, if you must, first test the waters, then proceed with caution and without expectations then slowly take it from there. Good Luck!!!
2007-07-09 12:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well she was just doing all that snuggling because she wanted to see how you would react and you did good.Be tell the truth you did everything except one thing wrong.That one thing is big!You went for her to soon.You got to let her get comfortable with you and I mean alot before she will even think about being your gf.I mean over spring break is not alot of time to make a great relationship.Next time take it a little slower but you still did everything else good.
2007-07-09 12:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mr.Right25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong, and that's the important lesson to learn. You can do everything right in a date/relationship, and it might still fall apart. Relationships are two-sided, and in this case the other side wasn't working. She didn't want a relationship, and she didn't want to hurt you more than she had to. She was interested in you for what you could provide her - reassurance, compliments, etc - but not for you yourself. It doesn't make her a bad person - she was just looking for something different out of the encounter than you were.
So keep that in mind. Even if you do everything right, it doesn't mean you're the right guy for her, or that she's the right girl for you. You just have to keep trying until you DO find the right one.
2007-07-09 12:50:39 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, you didnt do anything wrong, sometimes we girls tend to think that we can move on and know thats it's best and we dont, For eXAMPLe, I BROKE UPWITH MY EX, I MET THIS GUY A WONDERUL GUY. Everything could not be any perfect, but i still had a "what if'and i ended up breaking the other guys heart and got back with my ex, and i regret it because when we were broken up he got this chick pregnant and she was my friendand our relationship has not bveen the same!
2007-07-09 12:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by MuslimahLight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello friend,
you did NOTHING wrong. She just went back to her ex b/f and thats that! The problem is in her. You did well by taking it slow. Otherwise you were going to be in the middle of something between her and her ex. She couldn't wait for him to call her and you were plan B for her. Take my word - it's the best way things could work out - you met a girl, hung out with her and nothing more - no complications no scandals, no fighting for the wrong woman. You did great!
2007-07-09 12:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by Stella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like in the beginning she needed you for support (or rebound) then as time went on perhaps her and the ex got back together.
I wouldn't say you "did anything wrong" but if at any time a girl tells you she JUST broke up w/ her man....RUN!
LOL, no but that is the best way to keep yourself from getting hurt. At least nothing serious happened like intercourse..then that would be a little risky (pregnancy, etc.) so keep your chin up and learn from your mistake...Good Luck..your Mrs. Right is out there..take your time, and she'll find you.
2007-07-09 12:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by CJ&Drewsmomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is nothing about what you did wrong. Wrong time, wrong place for her. She was probably still hung up on the guy and although she liked the attention at first, maybe she felt guilty like she was leading you on and got distant. Has nothing to do with you. It seems you were very respectful of her and didn't push and that says a lot.
2007-07-09 12:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets see,, you probably didnt understand her when she said she just broke up with a BF and didnt want a relationship at this time, dont be clingy,, keep in touch with Email and text messaging, not a daily thing but every couple of days or so,,
dont try so hard to get a gal, girls like misery,, dont tell them they are pretty or how great they are, you can tell them they look nice or WOW you look great tonight, but other than that,if you go on and on, they will think you are strange and dump you,
girls like the bad boy
2007-07-09 12:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, you didn't do anything wrong..........maybe the girl just needed a distraction and you seemed like someone she could have fun with and just hang out. Unfortunately, no one understands the way a girl thinks (not even another girl). My advise is just get over her and be the way you are around any other girl you meet, maybe you'll have more luck next time.
2007-07-09 12:49:33 · answer #10 · answered by norabb_14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋