my daughter is only 6 months and im 13 weeks with next one
im in the middle of a divorce...he will be involved in their lives
will it affect them in the long run
2007-07-09 05:01:42 · 9 answers · asked by crazy.jossgirl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
had you thought about hyphenating the last names? If the dad will still be a part of their lives, then what's wrong with them having his last name AND your last name?
2007-07-09 05:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this age it won't affect your child at all because she won't even remember having a different last name when she was a baby. If the father is going to be minimally involved I say do it if you feel it's what's right. However, if he is a good father and going to remain an actively involved parent I'm not sure I'd do it without talking to him very seriously. I can understand if you're going back to your maiden name that you'd want your kids to have your name, especially if he's not going to be around much. Basically it's your choice whatever you feel but I wouldn't worry about any negative effects if you do it now while she's still so young. Good luck sweetie!
2007-07-09 12:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by amanda h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My oldest daughter is 10 years old. I have 2 other children from my current marriage so everyone except for my oldest has the same last name. I didn't think anything of it till my daughter started acting out very early...it got worse...extremely worse, as she got older. When i ask her whats wrong, more than once the answer has been cause her last name is different. She doesn't feel like she belongs in the family, shes the only blonde haired among us. I wouldn't strip her of her fathers name, unless of course he has nothing to do with her. When / If at a later date you remarry and have children with your new husband, consider having his last name added to your first two childrens name.
2007-07-09 12:22:03 · answer #3 · answered by Tasim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm almost divorced (lol) and I have a 2-year-old. I'm letting him keep his father's last name and I am keeping the name as well, so we can have the same one. If (when?) I get remarried, I hope that my new husband will adopt my son. (His father is minimally involved, but I can tell that he won't be around much longer, unfortunately. I hate deadbeat dads.)
2007-07-09 12:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by Trisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not spend the time and energy pulling your family back together? Therapy? Counseling?
You will have two very small children who need and deserve their mother AND father in the home.
Details like their last name aren't that important when you look at the big picture.
2007-07-09 12:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's willing to let you change their last name from his then no problem. I personally, wouldn't if a childs father is involved in their lives then they should carry his last name.
2007-07-09 13:20:03 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have the same father I would not do it. I was thinking about doing that... but then I thought all that will do is make my kids made at me and think I was the one in the wrong. Guys can put things in there heads and kids think of crazy things... So if he is going to be in there life I would not do it.
2007-07-09 12:27:37 · answer #7 · answered by Megan Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this age it probably wont affect them, but if the dad will be involved why would you change its name?
2007-07-09 12:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by tll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a particular attachment to your maiden name? I mean, they are your kids, so you can do what ever you want...but if he has a special last name, then let him have this one thing or hyphenate.
2007-07-09 12:06:17 · answer #9 · answered by Kaci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋