If someone asks a question on here like, "who would you rather be with: a handsome guy or a guy that'll protect you/be loyal/love you unconditionally", almost all of the girls say they'd take the second.
Why, then, do girls never give the people with these qualities a chance? Girls only go out with dumbass jocks who cheat on them by doing it with their ex-girlfriends and stuff.
What I'm getting at is, many guys who have these great qualities are not the "dreamiest" guys, and therefore they will never get a girl who is looking for a guy JUST LIKE THEM.
Is it just because they don't want to be made fun of or something?
Care to explain girls? I'm not trying to insult women or anything, it's just fustrating.
2007-07-09 04:59:17 · 23 answers · asked by unknown17432 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Basically what I'm saying is, why do girls choose to keep their "image" instead of trying to get what they really want?
2007-07-09 05:08:03 · update #1
These are all great answers and it's basically what I'm expecting.
I, myself, DO in fact care more about personality than looks. The only problem is, no girl would give me a chance to even talk to her. But, I remain vigilant and I will not change my values just to have a girl.
2007-07-09 05:13:24 · update #2
And i do realize thta guys do the same thing.
And, I admit, I have my own limit, although very low, as to how I'd like my girlfriend to look.
2007-07-09 05:15:57 · update #3
This is a question that I ask myself frequently. I think women in general get over their bad boy jock mentality as they mature and get hurt a few times. Being the nice guy type, I interact with girls more than they do with their boyfriends, but I do not get the action. I get to hear how they have been hurt by their jock and how I am nice, but they very rarely admit they want to date me. This is typically because they are afraid of being tied down.
Its simply easier to be tied down by a nice guy and girls at a certain age fear that.
2007-07-09 05:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by The Stylish One 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL Well, it's because intellectually, we realize what would be best for us. However, when it comes right down to it, a lot of women go after the "bad boys", falling in love with the idea of reforming (changing) a man.
A lot of women eventually mature and realize that the sweet guy is the better choice for a romantic partner.
I want to point out that you say girls do this, but guys do the same thing. There are a lot of people who have a double-standard regarding men and women. It's somehow more acceptable for a guy to put more importance on looks than personality, but a girl who wants a good-looking guy who may not treat her right is considered shallow. I PROMISE, there are a lot of sweet girls out there who are not the cheerleader type who have guys who want a girlfriend "just like her", but they don't actually want HER.
Having the personality and qualities of a good boyfriend or girlfriend is definately important, but physical attraction is important, too. That's just a fact. The smart thing to do is to try to be as physically attractive as you can, in addition to having all these great qualities, because it will help more girls see you as "boyfriend material".
2007-07-09 05:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmm.... question makes a lot of sense... truth is... girls who are with the "dreamy" guys based solely on appearance are shallow. most girls would rather be with a decent looking guy who treats them wonderful. and not too many girls would want a beastly lookin man no matter how he treats her... the mind of a HUMAN! not just girls cuz most guys will find that they are the same way unless they just wanna have sex, in which half the time the face really doesn't matter...
but you do pose a valid question... what i can suggest for you is if you're not the "most attractive" guy... try befriending a girl you're interested in first to show her that you're exactly what she wants and you can be that for her. a lot of times, a girl will dismiss a male right away before finding out anything about him and she never knows what she's missed. but if she gets to know you're personality better and how great of a person you are, that seems to magically make a person look much better than before...
girls are hard to understand. i'm a girl and i hardly understand other girls or myself sometimes for that matter... just don't let this make you change your view of women kuz not all are like that. some guys just say "FORGET IT" i'm not gonna be the gentleman kuz "good guys always finish last" which is actually the truth... but the jocks get all these lil' hoochie girls who can't count to 10 and in the end probably won't have such a prosperous.... so good guys finish last but end up coming out on top anyway.. : - ) hang in there... *KP*
2007-07-09 05:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by KP [hotgurlkim727@yahoo.com] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not just girls sweetie...boys do the same thing. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a guy complain that his gf is too possessive/jealous, tries to control his life, doesn't want him to watch sports, tries to change him, cheats on him, whatever and that all he wants is a nice girl that trusts him, understands and accepts what he wants to do, and isn't so high maintenance. Then they go straight to the big busted, tight bodied, demanding bimbo (who may even be cheating on her bf to be with him...go figure!).
Perhaps you're guilty of the same thing you're saying about those girls. The girls that go for the "dumbass jocks" who cheat are usually the same bimbos I mentioned above. Do you really want a girl that shallow? If you want a girl that will be "loyal" and "love you unconditionally", stop looking for one that's also physically gorgeous! There are PLENTY of girls out there (even some gorgeous ones) that DO want a nice guy. They may be initially attracted to the drop-dead gorgeous guy, but that's normal...just like you're probably attracted to the best looking girl in the room! ...but when it comes to having a relationship, many girls will go for the man that treats them right NOT the one that just looks good!
A close friend of mine is model beautiful (5'9", long blond hair, perfect body, etc...)...her husband is, for want of another word, a toad in terms of appearance...but he's a WONDERFUL person...fun, loyal, loving, and a great father. Many people that meet them often wonder how in the world he "caught" her...until they spend a little time with them and realize that he's actually a handsome prince!
BTW, if you want to find a nice girl that's looking for love and loyalty, try church. Yes, people in churches can be just as shallow as the rest of the world, but you do have a better chance of finding someone that cares more about character than appearance if you're looking in a place that emphasizes character over appearance! Most schools are the exact opposite...think of how many things in school reward looks (prom king/queen, cheerleading squad, etc...)!
2007-07-09 05:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by KAL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls, like guys, tend to go for appearance first. It takes longer for the not-so-good-looking but good-quality guy to attract attention. But it's not true that these guys just don't have a chance.
Guys who are not so great looking, just like similar girls, have to "prove" themselves by building friendships and showing their good qualities over time. Girls worth having soon figure out the difference between guys that have depth and valuable qualities and guys who don't--no matter what they look like.
Immature girls, though, sometimes are held back by peer pressure--they don't want to be hooked up with a guy that all their friends will see as undesirable no matter how great he is. Give it time. As girls mature, most of them will get past that view and realize that there is more to a great guy than just "a pretty face."
P.S. Guys do exactly the same thing. Are you sure that you aren't focusing your attention on just the "better looking" or "more desirable" girls and neglecting the truly great girls who come in plain packaging?
2007-07-09 05:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm where do i begin ... i understand your frustration and if it makes you feel any better , reading your question helped me make my discussion of who to choose between the 2 guys I've been dating. i don't think its embarrassing i just think its all about the sex appeal ... for example I've been dating 2 guys for about 2 months one is 24 yrs old 6'4 buying a house and has a great job & nice car ... but he calls me once a day and whenever we go out i'm the one who has to ask .... then the second guy is 5'8 27 has his own place , but its not a pimp as the other guy's , he's a firefighter & has the same nice car , but this guy calls me constantly and makes me feel like a princess everytime i'm around him and i even caught myself comparing the two when there was really nothing to compare ... guy # 1 probably has a girlfriend or will cheat on me and guy #2 is really looking to settle down and i am to blind to pick the better man over the man that just looks good. it is something that is common in most women, but hopefully one day the good guys will win.
2007-07-09 05:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by live in the magic of life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think all girls are like that.
I know I'm not. I spent a lot of years being made fun of for my own looks, even though when I look back on it now, I don't know why. I guess I was just shy and quiet and an easy target.
But anyway, after that experience I have always tried hard to look past a person's exterior and see what else they have to offer. I think appearance is important to an extent, I mean you don't want someone who smells and is dirty, but beyond that, looks don't matter to me.
I think there are more girls out there like that than you think. You just have to keep looking for them.
2007-07-09 05:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by T the D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women like being used and disrespected. Don't waste your time with them. Most just think they are too hot for you. Once they get burned they might change the way they think....might. Find a down-to-earth girl that can see past super model looks. Also, being with a super hot woman isn't that fun anyways(unless you like fighting off every guy within a twenty mile radius).
2007-07-09 05:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by BRADY J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been wondering this too. Obviously I'm not a girl, so I can't answer your question with a direct answer, but all I can figure is the media has affected the population creating the idea that the ideal relationship is with these idiots. I find women know what they want, but they want "the image" and would sacrifice what they really desire for it.
2007-07-09 05:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by Dylan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls go for the guy they think will impress their friends, which is the good looking one. Then, they hopefully grow up. When a mature woman seeks a man, they want the one who will love them unconditionally. It is all part of the growing up process. Some females "grow up" faster than others.
2007-07-09 05:07:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋