my aunt is driving me crazy, I need help to de-stress, she's demanding and a liar and manipulative and I am the only family she has....I am a mum of 4 (one disabled and one toddler and one at uni) and husband. Help.........
2007-07-09 04:49:53 · 20 answers · asked by Tilly Ward 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You dont say how old she is, or if she lives with you or not, but I know how you feel, my mum was a VERY difficult person for the last 2 years of her life.
If she is very old, then fear is probably driving her behaviour, fear of bieng alone, fear of death, fear of illness etc etc, you are going to have to take a zen approach, visit a couple of times a week perhaps, call her on the phone every day to make sure she is ok, and let her get on with it at all other times, maybe you could look into getting her a home emergency service, like Homeline or something, she would get an alarm thingy to keep on her person, and emergency buttons round the house, she may feel more secure if she has someone to call 24/7.
Dont be a martyr to her tho, I learned with my mum that doing too much for an elderly person is not good for them, makes them lazy and dependant, for some reason this makes them resentful and difficult, if they can look after themselves a bit its good for them, believe me, anyone, even younger elderly people [ie 60+] need to move about, get out a bit and look after themselves, she can do it, she would have to if you were not there so take a step back, dont answer her calls as often and she will have to sort herself out.
Ignore the lying and manipulation, set your own rules and stick to them, she will have to get used to it, if she becomes even more difficult, see even less of her, its no good trying to talk sensibly to a manipulative liar, the answer why is in the first statement!
2007-07-09 05:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by magpyre 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem two years back, it felt as if my energy was getting drained on a daily bases, there is a solution to your problem and you wont like the answer but trust me its the only way.
Walk away from the whole thing and don't look back, if she is incapable of looking after herself then get her a social worker, if she is capable, then accept that some people in life isolate them self because of their behaviour.
You sound a kind intelligent woman don't let your aunt get you down, don't feel guilty, you have to much going on, in your own life, for a bitter aunt. WALK AWAY AND DON`T LOOK BACK, good luck.
2007-07-09 13:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by debz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut your ties with her for a while. Then when she starts in with the "you never call me" nonsense, sit her down and tell her she is causing too much stress in your life. Let her know what needs to change. If she loves you, she will understand. If she doesn't try to change, you don't need her in your life. Just because you are family, doesn't give someone else the right to make your life miserable.
2007-07-09 11:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by randy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hypnotherapy is a wonderful way to relax, combat stress and to get good quality sleep.
You can be taught self hypnosis by going to see a Hypnotherapist or buy a self help CD (or download)
The benefits can be enormous, Good luck.
http://www.hypnotherapistregister.com/Stress%20Management.htm
http://www.hypnotherapistregister.com/Sleep%20Disorders.htm
2007-07-09 12:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you receive any support from eg social services? Does your aunt have a social worker you could contact - if she doesn't then contact social services and they will help arrange a carer's assessment and perhaps have carers go in to take the pressure from you.
2007-07-09 11:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by kaleidoscope_girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel obligated to such a person? Relative or not I wouldn't put up with someone like this. Let her know that you don't like the way she acts - give her specific examples - and tell her if she wants to continue your relationship she must stop the behavior. Once you put her on notice - it's up to her to stop. If she does not - stop communicating with her. Life's too short to let someone cause you so much pain. You have to stand up to people like this and stop letting them treat you bad! Good luck.
2007-07-09 11:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Be me 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
End this stress Now..! Big deep breath pick up the phone and tell her to F off...have a wee cup of Tea and you will feel better..
2007-07-09 11:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell this selfish woman that you're at your wits end, and need time without her. You might be her only family, but she's doing her best to drive you away. Be straight with her.
2007-07-09 11:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by jet-set 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you need to enlist help from outside agencies for your own benefit as well as your aunts. also you need to firmly tell her that you have your own life to lead as well being there for here. encourage your aunt to go different places maybe join a luncheon club or something like that. good luck
2007-07-09 12:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by magiclady2007 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
family or no family, if this woman is making your life a mysery then simply get rid, if she cared about you then she wouldnt be lying and manipulating you hun, get rid, you have enough on your plate, and your immediate family comes first, xxxxx
good luck
xxxxxxx
2007-07-09 11:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋