Hello everyone, was sorting out my files on the computer and found something rather funny,
star it if you like ;-)
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying"
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
2007-07-09 04:18:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?" "Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like her to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me." "Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." "Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I
2007-07-09 04:20:57 · update #1
get for a rib"?
2007-07-09 04:23:02 · update #2
I do believe I snorted when I read these! Thanks for the lift...
2007-07-09 04:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by Heidi L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of marriage is for everybody. some people discover this out after a divorce. I t could desire to be that some people like our independence too a lot. I hate sharing a mattress continuously, i assume that's an element of my freedom element. I even have seen many stable marriages and that i think of they are retaining a secret i don't comprehend.
2016-12-10 06:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree with first post that they are good jokes on family life...here is one for newly wed:
A couple of Stanford grads was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the hone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."
2007-07-09 04:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by sprinting_turtle 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I wish there was a way to give sprinting_turtle a star. His joke is hilarious!!! Thumbs up!
2007-07-09 04:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by CINDY G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good collection
2007-07-09 04:24:12 · answer #5 · answered by Aditya 8302 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny!! The last one was the best!!
2007-07-09 04:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by Doll 101 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Star!!!
2007-07-09 04:25:08 · answer #7 · answered by CNJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man i am still laughing, and the funny part is, it is all true
2007-07-09 04:26:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think milk just flew out of my nose...........lol
those are too funny
2007-07-09 04:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by CAM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No fair.
U made me LOL at work!
Now they're watching me.
Always...watching me.....
2007-07-09 05:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by chakacha99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehe very quick
xx
2007-07-13 04:12:33 · answer #11 · answered by fairy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋