As a vegan, what should I do when invited to dinner at someone's house who is not vegan?

Question

I have been having a lot of trouble lately because people who are not vegan seem to just not understand what it means. I can't eat any dairy or meat! Is it rude to tell someone in advance? How do you word it politely?

Answer 1

No. it's not rude to remind (gently of course) that you have dietary restrictions -

"I'd love to attend your dinner party - Oh, just to remind you, I'm a vegan - I don't eat meat, eggs, fish or dairy products. Will this be a hindrance to you? That doesn't mean you shouldn't serve meat to everyone else - by the way. But maybe I could pass along a couple of recipes that make great side dishes for meat eaters and are good for my diet."

And have some recipes for vegan dishes that others can use as side dishes for most - and are "vegan approved."

I have many vegan friends and I always try to make sure there are things they can eat on the table - along with meat. Cooked greens of any kind - Kale, collards, chard etc. Steamed green beans with toasted almonds, dressed with lemon juice and olive oil are great for vegans and everyone alike. And tomatoes with fresh basil chiffon are heavenly. Hmm. and fresh corn on the cob - again dressed with a simple vinaigrette - go well with any fare.

As long as my vegan and omnivore friends agree not to comment on what the other eats - we all have a grand time and no one is hungry.

And of course, cut fruit in season.

Answer 2

It would be more rude to arrive at someone's house for a dinner, sit down to a carefully prepared meal that includes meat and/or dairy, and only *then* inform the host(ess) that you can't eat any of it.

You have a couple of options. You can either resign yourself to salad and side dishes, or you can try to work with the host as regards the main dish. In any case, the host needs to be told about your veganism well before the dinner. When I'm invited over for dinner, I inform the host in advance and try to give them an out:

"Thank you so much for the invitation. Just to warn you in advance, I have dietary restrictions against meat, eggs, and dairy. I know that can make it difficult to put a menu together. If you've planned a main dish with meat, I'd be happy to bring something over that I can eat; it'll just need a couple of minutes in the microwave."

I've found that most people respond positively to something like that. If I'm the only dinner guest, most people are willing to work with me to find a recipe that everyone can eat. If I'm invited to a dinner party, however, the hosts have largely been relieved when I offer to bring my own main dish so that they don't have to completely revise the menu or prepare a second spread just for me. Most people are willing to leave the cheese, eggs, and dairy butter out of their side dishes (or prepare side dishes that don't need them in the first place), but working around meat in a main dish is another thing altogether.

A gracious host will be willing to work with you, whether it means preparing a vegan main dish or heating up something that you bring. Your part, then, is to make sure you sample everything they make that you *can* eat and be effusive with your compliments to the chef. Having a vegan dinner guest can be difficult for non-vegans; make sure you recognize their efforts on your behalf.

Answer 3

People who eat traditional diets don't understand a vegan diet. Politely say that you would love to come for dinner, but that you hope your diet doesn't create a burden on them. They'll probably be confused why you said that. That's when you explain that you cannot have meat, dairy, etc. At this point, the ball is their court to keep the offer on the table, or make a counter offer to meet at a vegan-friendly restaurant, if one is available in your area.

Answer 4

Just say that you would love to come, but want to know if they are aware of your dietary restrictions. Tell them that you don't eat dairy or meat and let them make a few suggestions of what they might serve.

If you are invited to a large BBQ or something similar, I would accept the invitation and ask if they mind if you bring a salad (or whatever) because of your restrictions.

Answer 5

That would be tricky. Maybe tell them you would love to come, but you have a very strict diet.

Offer to help them pick out a meal, and even offer to come early and help them prepare it. You can see if they want to try a vegan meal, or if not - then you can let them eat meat/dairy, but have plenty of other stuff that you can eat.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You might want to inform everyone you know that you're a vegan, without connecting it to any specific event. Then, to reinforce the point, give a vegan dinner party. That should be sufficient notice for most people.

And remember that nowadays it is acceptable to eat only the foods you want, and say "No thank you" to the rest.

Answer 7

if you feel odd, just mention it in a casual way, bringing a side dish to dinner is really quite normal, so when accepting the invite, be enthusiastic when mentioning what you plan to bring, then be sure to mention that it is vegan and what that means, that way even a host who has no idea what vegan entails will now be informed and not be made to feel dumb

or just take a fork and be sure to poke at everything still in the dishes and give squinty eyed stares at everyone while they eat all night, both are fun options!

Answer 8

When I am in a situation where I don't know the people well enough to warn them, I just try to find something to nibble on, like salad or plain bread. Eat a snack before you go so you won't faint if there is nothing to eat!

Answer 9

Tell your host/hostess in advance and offer to bring a a yummy vegan dish to add to the meal.

Answer 10

Bring your own food. They don't need to understand your issues.

I'm a great cook and I wouldn't change my recipe to accommodate a vegan or a vegetarian.