My husband drank too much and.....?

Question

My husband got drunk at a family partner and did lots of things that were out of character. He pecked my sister on her ear and told her he loved her and kept dragging her on the dance floor. Both of which are usually unacceptable in the indian tradition. He scratched my hand when I asked him politely not to drink any more and told me to **** off in front of my family. He was drunk to his eye balls and insulted me deeply. He slept all the way home and when I asked him not to get into the clean bed he told me he wished he could be a single man. He then slept until 9pm and went up to sleep more. He then got up at 2am and disturbed my sleep by repeatedley shuffling into me. I had to resort sleeping in the spare room. He didnt say goodbye when he went to work in the morning and wouldnt answer his calls when I tried to call him. Today he kisses his sister in law,.,,,,what would happen if my brother in law kissed me one day?

Answer 1

Alcohol can effect a person so much and their behaviour changes as they become less and less aware what they are doing. I am not making excuses for your husband's behaviour but it is probably is either hazy to him or he was so drunk he can't remember at all. Don't keep reminding him what he has done. He obviously has been told and should have the grace to apologise to those concerned. The issue here is not what he done in a drunken state but the fact that he has abused alcohol. This is what requires to be addressed. Hopefully, he will have learned his lesson and this was a one off situation.. If he makes promises which he doesn't keep and does the same at another time then he is needing help. It is not only people who drink in pubs etc every day that have a problem with alcohol and often the ones that just now and again can't resist and then behave similiar to your husband that have a really big problem.

Answer 2

Oh honey I am sooo sorry!! This is not acceptable in any tradition. I wish you had the balls, to say, you wanna be a single man again then here ya go and toss him and his **** out! Not sayin that you dont have balls, it's just that you can tell that you really love this man and that is something you arnt ready to do. He was absolutly wrong! Has he given you some indication of why he is mad at you for his outlandish behavior!?! Unfortunately, I believe that the drunk mind speaks the sober truth. He has some resentment towrds you and you need to figure out why. He embarrissed you and didnt respect you enough to curb his drinking in front of your family and more importantly he picked the one person in the room, to shove that knife in farther...your sister. He does not respect you, and he resents you for something. You need to get this guy talking and if some kind of remorse is not expressed and some form of apology extended to the family, then I would seriously consider if this is the kind of person you need in you life. I wonder how long you've been married and his nationality. I know that Indian traditions are very strong, so I wonder if it's just too much for him when he is around the entire family, and he chose to drink as an outlet away from them. Good luck, I wish I knew how it turns out.

Answer 3

If he drinks every night that much its a huge problem it only takes a few months for someone to become an alcholic.When that happens its all down hill from there.I think people should only drink socially and not very often.Children are more important than having a beer.Plus add that up one six pack depending on the brand is about 8.00 add it up monthly thats 224.00 a month thats your diaper money right there get it now its a big deal.

Answer 4

It sounds like he is a very selfish man. I know a lot of those. But if this is the first time he did this, maybe and hopefully he realizes what he did was wrong and that is why he isn't answering his phone. But they do say when people drink their real sides come out. I would probably just let it go and see what happens, if he does it again, I would reall t re-evaluate my relationship.

Answer 5

Point one: If he drank that much his head would have been pounding this morning. So saying goodbye was probably an hangover oversight.
Point 2: He may not remember what he did yesterday. But he will have noticed that you were sleeping else-where this morning.
Point 3. If he does remember he is probably ashamed, and doesn't know how to talk to you about it.

Answer 6

I don't really know what you are asking. I also think you know that your husband's behaviour is unacceptable. Perhaps its time to find somebody else. I think personally, and others will agree or disagree, that true feelings come out when drunk. You deserve better surely.

Answer 7

I sympathize with you. It seems that this man has a problem somewhere else that you should try to discover and neutralize it. He is deliberately teasing you to retaliate for something I have no idea of, but you know better. Try to remove the cause, the effect will be automatically removed.

Answer 8

I would speak with him about what really is bothering him - not the drinking part (that's only a symptom of a much bigger problem.)

I also would ask some of the men in your family to speak with him about his behavior and what a mess he's made - and how he plans on cleaning it up.

Answer 9

There is a saying that when a man drinks he becomes who he really is. Well I didn't get the saying correctly, but they show their true colors when they're drunk. Good luck!

Answer 10

woman ur family needs God, if you pray i think this is the time you nid to pray the more coz u nid strength, for ur family. a drunkard is not a good virtue in a husband i cud say alot of things are bound to happen due to drinking. only God can give you the best solution so pray il pray with you